jimtash Posted December 12, 2004 Share Posted December 12, 2004 My ex is leaving town to be with another man and I'm actually a little relieved about it because the stress of trying to keep her here will soon disappear. What I do know is that she is chasing a dream that will soon turn into a nightmare and that she will be back but I can't say for sure when it will happen. Here's the story; last may my ex contacted me after five months of having no contact with each other (we actually had been broke up for close to eight months) after her current boyfriend had to leave town and go to Mississippi. We started seeing each other as friends and soon she moved in with me around August and around September, she tells him to stop calling her. He does for about a month and in October, he starts calling again and two weeks later she breaks up with me to get back together with him. Nevermind that we didn't have one argument during the time we were together and that her breaking up with me was more of feeling guilty for breaking up with him while he was away. A month later she goes back to me and two weeks later, she's back with him. This time, he called saying that he had taken a blood test and that he had to urgently speak to her because he tested positive for a disease and that she might need to go get tested. All this was a lie to get her to speak to him again and that's when she finally went back to him for good. As the story goes, she tells me that this guy she was with was overly jealous and controlling of her not allowing her to be around other men or women for that matter. He did not want her to even work. Now he's got her moving down to Mississippi which is six hundred miles away from here because she's convinced he has changed but I try to explain to her the fact that since she broke up with him while he was away to get together with me, that it's only going to make him even more determined to control her but she doesn't believe me. And not only that, the fact that he had to lie to get her to even talk to him should be another red flag but nooo, she doesn't see that. She even thinks that he's going to let her call me (yeah right). She thinks that he is deserving of another chance and he's even reassured her that if she doesn't like it there, she will be free to come back home (which will be hard as hell to do). I try to explain to her the fact that he wouldn't let her go from six hundred miles away, so what makes her think he will from six feet? Anyway, my stress is leaving me for a while because I know she'll be back, but only after a few hard lessons and a lot of crying and regret. I hope she realizes early on that he really isn't going to change because he's already proved it by his lying and manipulation and blatant obsession with her, not to mention that there's also no trust either. If he really wanted her to be happy, he would have realized that she was with me and left things alone but he couldn't, so I think this is more about him and his ego than any so called love for her. And I know that for her this is more about curiosity as to what might have been more than anything else, not to mention the guilt of breaking up with him while he was away (and he plays on it pretty good). She did tell me that if it doesn't work out she will comeback to me but hey, who knows by then what I'm going to be doing. For me to even consider us again, she has a lot of proving to do. Link to post Share on other sites
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