Renard99 Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 No, I wouldn't and the main reason would be trust. She never discussed with me that she was unhappy in the relationship, the infamous 'I love you, but I'm not IN love with you' came out one day when asked if something was up because she was quiet when she got in after work. How do I know she wouldn't do the same thing again? She could say she's changed but do I want to take the chance of going for another 7 years only to find myself in my late 30s hearing the same words I heard in my late 20s? NOPE. Link to post Share on other sites
AllTooWell Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 The person he is today? No. At first I typed "The person he is when he isn't living this awful lifestyle" And then "The person I know he is deep down" "The person he could be" "The person he might become" ... none of those are him So I guess my answer is no. Link to post Share on other sites
ayudorama Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 No. I realize that some traits are too deeply-rooted, innate even, that even time cannot change. Link to post Share on other sites
brokenheart1992 Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Maybe not now, but in a couple of months or years. If he can show that he's changed, then yes because people CAN change, especially after something that has affected them so deeply (something I can relate to). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AZtragedy Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 My wife left me without warning four weeks ago, and right now I feel I would definitely take her back. She has said it would never be the same, since she has "fallen in love" with someone else. That is true, but one can never relive the past no matter what the situation is. It would take a lot of work, but I think it would be worth the try. We are all flawed human beings - no one is perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 After the breakup, would you really want him/her back? Would it really ever be the same? Personally, I wouldn't want to fall into the same ditch twice. Too much water under the bridge. Some things can't be erased. I may miss him terribly, but hopefully that will soon pass for good. But I definitely don't want him back. Only if they are wiling to, or else, you will be treated worst, by the same person who loved you before. Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 I don't want him back. I miss him and love him, but that ship sailed a long time ago. I do want him to want me back though. Even though it might sound petty. I know what you mean, and that's not petty...more like justice lol. But honestly for me, I can't say for sure that I'd take him back or not, unless it actually happened. Certainly not holding my breath because he's such a fool that he will prob go through every girl in our state before realizing he could never replace me! Oh and I love your signature :-) Link to post Share on other sites
bedelgeuse Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 In 2010 I took my ex wife back after a 9 month separation because of her cheating. Since I never filed for divorce, and was committed to marriage, we got back together in time. As it turns out she only came back to me because she was at a horribly low point in her life, and while we were separated she became addicted to pills. After a year of trying to work it out, she cheated on me again and told me she wanted a divorce. She left the apartment 3 weeks before I was set to move out, to stay with her new guy, and I packed up alone and never saw her again. Now I am 15 days NC from a girl who I dated for 1.5 years. She was my first serious relationship post marriage, and she came into my life at a time when I was truly moved on and healed from the divorce. I opened my heart to her fully, as I found her to be so much better than my ex wife in every single way. Now I'm destroyed, we went from living together to a temporary LDR that was only to last about a month before I moved out to be with her, and 2 weeks after she moved, she dumped me saying that she needs to find herself and she no longer loves me. I questioned if there was someone else, as she had signs of emotional check out and confusion leading up to the BU. She said that this is only for herself, and that is why she cannot be in a relationship right now. She's 24, first year post college and has GIGS symptoms. I am 29. So in this case would I take her back? I am the type that can forgive, but I have to also accept the loss that she is gone good. This time I am doing my best to stay NC and move on. She would have to initiate contact and be very upfront that she wants to be back together (like my ex wife did). But I would want to see her in person first before I just blindly forgave- in order to see if they are a better person or just hitting rock bottom. Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 Yes, probably. It would be the thrill of winning over an emotionally unavailable woman. Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 Unless he is a changed man, hell no. I would consider taking him back as a lover. NSA. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 After brutal reflection. It would be hard not to see her try if she wanted to come back. But i fear she would be the same and it would fail. I never had the power in the relationship so i guess it could turn out the same. But i know i gave everything i could and she gave insanity. Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Unless he is a changed man, hell no. I would consider taking him back as a lover. NSA. lol. What is NSA Link to post Share on other sites
lindsay1990 Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 "Not if you were the last man on Earth!" - Me, to my ex, in the middle of Target during break-up days. I stand by it. More so every passing day. Link to post Share on other sites
Nubcake Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Brain says no, heart says yes. Heart plays dirty and makes me feel miserable. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Trying every day to make the answer no. Since I declared the daring moratorium, I've wanted him more. Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Would I want her back? Yes. At least I think so. Could I handle being with her, or anyone else for that matter, right now? Realizing more and more that the answer is a solid and profound "no". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
faithfully Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Hheellll noooo, neverrr!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Not with my ex. I think both of us deserve someone better. And our versions of "better" are just completely different from one another. Link to post Share on other sites
penultimatethrow Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 This is such a tough one. My heart feels so strongly for her, and I already put up with so much. But my brain - and most people I know - tell me she's bad news and would only hurt me. I think right now the answer would be no (which is huge, even last week it would have been "yes, let's try"). But maybe in six months, a year, five years... if it was a truly fresh start... with our baggage mostly dealt with... maybe it could be different then. Maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Nope, I was already duped once. Link to post Share on other sites
McMike Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 Nope. She's just gonna leave again. Link to post Share on other sites
strive Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 Everyday it's easier and easier to answer this question with NO. I'm now at the "Pfft, hell no" point. But sometimes I become sentimental and think "Maybe in 5-10 years time." Link to post Share on other sites
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