ant Posted December 12, 2004 Share Posted December 12, 2004 I have a problem with a best friend of mine concerning his girlfriend, who I am sure is jealous of me which I find totally ridiculous. I have known this friend all my life, and we have always gotten on well throughout our school life. However, when he got hos gf (which was about 2 yrs ago) he did the "drop all my friends" move, which kinda pissed me off but i got used to it, saw other friends, etc. After about 9 months from them going out, he asks me round to see him while his gf is there (she also had one of her friends round, so there was four of us). Since we hadn't seen each other for a long time, we got on really well and talked about old times. The next day when I talked to him, he said that his gf was really upset after I left because he was talking to me for like half an hour and ignored her (despite her having a friend round as well) yet I hadn't spoken to him for 9 months! (which I thought oozed jealousy). Ever since then, she has used petty excuses to my friend that she doesnt like me because of what music im into, or because the subjects that I take at college are boring,etc. I had never been prejudiced in this way towards her and I had never said that I didnt like her. The problem is that my friend is submissive; she is the dominant person in their relationship, and he does what she says. Me and my friend aren't allowed to go to McDonalds because she doesnt like it! Another example is she wanted me and my friend to wait outside school for 3 hrs because she had an exam. When I told my friend we don't have to, he agreed with me, so we didn't wait and guess what? He got a ton of aggravation because we didn't do as she had told us, and he had to make it up to her, even though she was being unreasonable. She has even tried turning him against his family (which partially succeeded) because they found her to be weird, as she is very obsessive (they see each other all day, every day), and they have little if any friends, as they "dropped them" for each other. She also complains when me and my frined are laughing at something she doesn't find funny, and asks if we could never do that again, cos she didn't like it. My quesiton is, should I try to get this girl to like me? I dont want to say I don't like her, as I want my friend to still be my friend, but on the other hand I find her actions totally irrational, and I feel like I have to speak to him about her odd behaviour. Do you think it will ever stop, and she will grow up? (we are all 16). Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted December 12, 2004 Share Posted December 12, 2004 Ugh! Well she sounds like an irratating, immature girl.. It is unreasonable for her to monopolize all of your friends time and attention 24-7.. and of course it isn't healthy for a relationship between 2 people to be all consuming to the point they don't see other friends or have any interest outside the relationship. His Girlfriend IMO is insecure and wants to know where he is, who he is with, and what he is doing all of the time.. and she may feel threatend by your friendship with your Mate because she cannot control what YOU do, nor can she control the friendship between you and your mate.. obviously she likes to control because it makes her feel secure. Should you try to get her to like you.. well I will say this.. be friendly with this girl (or for real I'm sure she will insist your Mate not hang out with you any longer) keep in mind that the type of music you listen to, the courses you take in school or the fact that you like McDonalds isn't the reason(s) this girl is dissing on you.. she is doing it out of insecurity and a need to control. So yeah again.. be nice, be friendly.. but no I don't think "kissing her a**" is going to make her like you more.. she's insecure. Talking to your friend about her.. be very careful here. This is his girlfriend, that obviously he's into and all about.. you don't want to alienate your friend in talking to him about his girlfriend.. if he gets angry about it (and he more than likely would be angry) then he's going straight to his girl and telling her what YOU had to say about her.. you think she tries to come in between the friendship you have now.. you better stand the hell by after that. Your friend will figure this out in his own time.. and this isn't a forever kind of relationship between her and him. Hang in there;) Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted December 12, 2004 Share Posted December 12, 2004 I agree with what Merin said, she's an immature insecure little girl who feels she needs to control every situation. I think in time your friend will get sick of it (hopefully) and break it off with her. Act friendly, but don't kiss a$$. I wouldn't care if someone like that liked me or not. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
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