SpiralOut Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 I know for some people the answer seems so obvious. Just walk away! For some reason I have trouble walking away from someone who is treating me badly. I am getting better at it, but still want some tips. What do you say to yourself while walking away? Do you feel bad about it? Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 Well, I evaluate the reasons first. If the person is toxic to my spirit then it's a no brainier. However, sometimes there is something about the person that keeps me on hold. More often than not I've found this on hold person eventually sort of fades away. Meaning somehow I let go enough to give them the red flag of not interested anymore. Conclusion, they were really not important to me. Good luck. Mea :-) Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 Abusers are incapable of having a lifelong relationship. Eventually it will end--whether by the other person or even them. But it will end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 You're getting something out of this relationship even if it's something most people consider bad. Attention? Pity? An excuse not to do something else? Perhaps you believe on some level that you don't deserve better treatment and this person is confirming your belief. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 (edited) why i am always cautious about loving someoen is i dont walk away...ill cotnemplate walking but if i love soemone my heart overurles my head........so before i get into a relationship or even date, i try my hardest to make sure one its what i really want and two that i would be willing to stand by that person hell or high water and that person would be right there with me....not running scared..... i want soemoen willing to stand by me ....not only when we have fun ....but the hard yards..........had a lot of hell and i dont mind high tide..i am stronger for that hell..not much can break me in a relationship...i need to be with soemoen who deserves devotion and appreciates what he has.......because i do not walk.......i also need to be sure before i start a relationship...then ...there is no need for me to worry or think about about being mistreated.....even then when you know someone for years before you start a relationship...guess what ...love has no guarantees it wont happen..i am adverse to quitters.....i like fighters....becaue i am an old school one involves loyalty and respect..i needa guy who has guts to stick it out....bit of personal fortitude......deb Edited October 27, 2013 by todreaminblue 1 Link to post Share on other sites
melell Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Emotions are so strange, the effect they have on our perspectives is extreme- try not to be hard on yourself I think this is specifically where space is needed. And that is the hard part. If you can get enough space and time away then those little attachments will dissolve. And then you can view it from another perspective. I am not sure if you are talking about a relationship or friendship or? But the same seems to go with bu. You really have to completely detach yourself for things to change. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 You walk away by telling yourself that you deserve better. You deserve someone that will treat you well. Someone that you enjoy being with. Someone that will give you the time and attention that you deserve. If you are settling for men who treat you badly or don't value you, then somewhere along the line you have come to believe you don't deserve to be treated well. Maybe you got negative messages as a child from your caregivers that damaged your self esteem, or maybe your mother was a poor role model that tolerated abuse/mistreatment from her husband/partner. You can decide that you are worthy of being treated well, and decide you are not going to put up with poor treatment by men. Don't waste your time with men who treat you badly. The sooner you dump these losers, the sooner you have the chance to find someone who is worthy of your time and attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Outsider77 Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Ask yourself if you would want a friend or family member to be in the same situation. What would you tell them if they came to you for advice? Would you tell them to leave? If so, then there's your answer. If you don't think the relationship would be acceptable for a loved one to be in, then it's not acceptable for you to be in either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brokenblade Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I find that when I'm treated bad, that basically means that the person who is treating me bad doesn't want me around to begin with. This helps me walk away from bad treatment. Link to post Share on other sites
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