Help!!

[chatwithme04]

Please! Help,

 

I need some advice, please. I was dating this guy for 9 months. He always came to visit spending time with my son, my family and me. They really like him. He recently broke up with me because he said that I am causing stress into the relationship. He said that I have mood swings that are causing him stress (stating that I argue all the time) He said that he don't know when the mood swings will come back up again. He has health issues (High Blood Pressure) and he said that the stress would affect it. Well, I told him that I wouldn’t call as much because I don't want to take a toll on his health. Well, He told me that I wouldn't affect it and now I will. I don't understand. Just last week after a two-week hiatus from calling each other, we talked and he said that he loved me, missed me and wanted us live together. I don't know what to do. We both love each other and want to be together. Mind u, this is a long distance relationship. I know that I have a lot of baggage from previous relationships but I am willing to work on this one. The distance is getting to me because I want to be with him. I asked him if it was ok that I come for a visit. I wanted to try to make the relationship work but I didn't tell him that, he said, "No, It would not be ok". He wanted me to come and visit but I guess he is upset with me now. I was supposed to go there and stay as long as I wanted to stay. I think that it's really over. He says that I don't understand his situation. Should I give him more time to cool off? If he really loved me then we could work through this, right? Every couple has their ups and downs. We are still learning each other. I think that when we actually get to spend more time together then he will see the kind of loving person I really am. He has already said that I am an amazing woman with a good heart. That he loves me dearly. Is it my fault for the breakup? Was I being such a nag? I understand about his health. I know that I should focus on my role in the breakup. I have emotional baggage left from my past relationships, which I think played, a part in the breakup. He doesn’t see the things that he does. When we have phone sex he gets off the phone quickly but when we just talk, we talk for a long time. I just don't want that to be the only thing on his mind. I also understand that he is still trying to get stability in his life (he just moved from another state to be near family and has yet to find a job). He wanted us to lived together but everything has changed. I am still living at home with my mom. I am trying to get out on my own. I know I am too old to be living at home (I am 32 yrs old with an 8 yr old son). Am I being too impatient? I just can't believe he that he has fallen out of love with me that quickly. I can't believe that his feelings are gone so quickly. It’s been some weeks now. I wrote him a 5-page letter, was that a mistake? Some say it was. I am so confused. Some advice. Please!!

[Merin]

I'm sorry..

 

Honestly (and believe me when I say I hate to tell you this) but it's time to leave this guy alone.

 

I don't have any idea how the 2 of you met.. just from what you've said here and that it's been a LDR.. I am going to guess you may have met him on the internet?

 

None the less.. he has told you he no longer wants to be with you, he has also told you he doesn't want you to go to his state to spend time with him and although I know you want to also keep in mind the other things he has TOLD you like he loves you, you're an amazing person, he wants to live with you etc.. the only thing that matters is what he is SHOWING you..

 

Writing him a 5 page letter isn't going to make him suddenly realize what a jackass he is being.. but whats done is done.. but I would advise you NOT to write any more letters, or make any more calls ect to "plead your case"

 

He knows how you feel.. he's got the 411 on how to contact you if he chooses to.. so yeah, sorry girl.. but time now to take a huge step back and leave things alone.

 

Hang in there