Jump to content

Is shyness/anxiety really a genetic issue?


Recommended Posts

I used to be very shy/anxious AND depressed.

 

I'm taking pills and therapy now.

 

I can say that my shyness dissappeared due to my self worth being high up in the skies compared to a year ago.

 

with my shyness gone, my anxiety dissapeared when my ex broke up with me, she gave me these messed up anxiety attacks in my stomach where i could barely breath anymore.

 

my depression is still there, but thats because of the lack of energy i've got due to my break up, and i've got no energy to change my lifestyle for now.

once this subsides, I'll change it drastically and be okay.

 

I do not think it's genetic, I think it's from your youth.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's based on your beliefs about yourself which you created in childhood based on your interpretation of events at that time. Eliminate those beliefs and shyness disappears. Worked for me.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Derpderpleton

After reading some of these replies, there's one thing that's really stuck out to me; The whole 'misinterpretation of past events' thing.

 

Like I've stated before, growing up, I've always been told that I'm so quiet. People would ask me "why don't you talk more?". Then came the comparisons to my brother and his outgoing social personality. Constantly being told that I'm shy and quiet, and compared to my brother, I established a belief that this is the way that I am. I've let other peoples snap judgements of myself affect the way that I view myself.

 

I've always been aware that I'm doing this and it's wrong, but I struggle to control it. Is it a natural thing? Does anyone else find themselves doing this?

Link to post
Share on other sites
After reading some of these replies, there's one thing that's really stuck out to me; The whole 'misinterpretation of past events' thing.

 

Like I've stated before, growing up, I've always been told that I'm so quiet. People would ask me "why don't you talk more?". Then came the comparisons to my brother and his outgoing social personality. Constantly being told that I'm shy and quiet, and compared to my brother, I established a belief that this is the way that I am. I've let other peoples snap judgements of myself affect the way that I view myself.

 

I've always been aware that I'm doing this and it's wrong, but I struggle to control it. Is it a natural thing? Does anyone else find themselves doing this?

 

That's possible. I'd venture to say that the reason you're more quiet around people you don't know well is because you're afraid of being rejected and hurt.

 

I'm mostly the same way. Sometimes when I'm in class I want to ask a girl sitting next to me a question, I hesitate because I'm afraid she'll somehow think I'm creepy if I did. When I'm around friends, I know that these people accept me for who I am and won't reject me unless I do something really really offensive so I really open up.

 

Seriously wouldn't worry about it too much. Just know that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and be vulnerable with people. Don't be so hard on yourself all the time. If you're a little more compassionate towards yourself you'll find that you'll live a lot happier.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Oh, now we're at "can" ????

 

 

You mean to suggest that, say, if a child is born with a genetic affliction, and is later told that he won't live to see his 11th birthday, that his temperament can be a little pessimistic?

 

Earlier you said that "shyness is genetic". Now which is it going to be?

I thought I was making myself clear. Shyness can be from either genetic causes or from environmental causes, or both. Some people are shy/socially apprehensive from birth, as the article I posted demonstrates. Twins studies show that identical twins reared apart have similar personalities despite their different environments. That demonstrates that shyness can be genetic. Shyness can also be caused from environmental factors, such as a very restricted environment where the child is not given the opportunity to be social with others, so he never learns social skills. It can also be caused from inadequate bonding with a parent/primary caregiver where the child develops an avoidant personality because of lack of proper response by the parent to the infant's needs. So what I'm saying is that sometimes shyness is caused from purely genetic factors. Sometimes it is caused by environmental factors where there is no genetic component. Sometimes there is both genetic and environmental factors contributing to a person's shyness.

Edited by KathyM
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
No. You don't need cognitive behavior therapy.

 

OP, here is what you do: go out everyday for the next month with a goal to be outgoing and talkative.

 

In this, you must:

 

1) Talk to 10 strangers per day for no reason.

2) Voice any opinion that comes to your mind (unless you're at work...that could go badly lol).

 

Literally, just start doing what you want all the time (when it comes to social situations).

 

If you do this for 30 days straight and stick to it, I promise you won't be shy anymore.

 

I generally agree with this. In short, he needs to stop caring so damn much about what other people think about him, especially strangers. People are going to have their opinions, impressions and judgements of him whether he likes it or not, and there's very little he can do about it. So why even worry about it. Even if he has an unpopular opinion about some things, others are more likely to like and respect him if he just lives his life to the beat of his own drum. Women are more likely to think he's an attractive person too.

 

Shyness and anxiety are signs of mental fear and weakness. The best way to overcome these things is to face them head on in a motivated fashion. It's similar to overcoming a lack of physical/muscular strength...attack the problem directly with gym visits and a decent workout and eating strategy.

 

Professional mental health therapy has its usefulness in some aspects of one's troubled life, but it's likely a waste of money if someone's merely shy. Oh, and WAY too many people in their teens and twenties unnecessarily take antidepressants.

 

The biggest catalyst of shyness and anxiety is one's upbringing and home/school environment during childhood. It's not a coincidence that many shy adults lived rather sheltered lives during childhood. Or had overprotective or oppressive parents.

Link to post
Share on other sites
AShogunNamedMarcus
I generally agree with this. In short, he needs to stop caring so damn much about what other people think about him, especially strangers. People are going to have their opinions, impressions and judgements of him whether he likes it or not, and there's very little he can do about it. So why even worry about it. Even if he has an unpopular opinion about some things, others are more likely to like and respect him if he just lives his life to the beat of his own drum. Women are more likely to think he's an attractive person too.

 

Shyness and anxiety are signs of mental fear and weakness. The best way to overcome these things is to face them head on in a motivated fashion. It's similar to overcoming a lack of physical/muscular strength...attack the problem directly with gym visits and a decent workout and eating strategy.

 

Professional mental health therapy has its usefulness in some aspects of one's troubled life, but it's likely a waste of money if someone's merely shy. Oh, and WAY too many people in their teens and twenties unnecessarily take antidepressants.

 

The biggest catalyst of shyness and anxiety is one's upbringing and home/school environment during childhood. It's not a coincidence that many shy adults lived rather sheltered lives during childhood. Or had overprotective or oppressive parents.

 

Couldn't disagree more. Shyness and anxiety are signs of mental disorder. It's an affliction for many people, not a choice to care what others think of them. The biggest catalyst is not upbringing. Two siblings in the same environment can come out completely different depending on how the genes mixed.

 

It's pervasive and without the right kind of therapy probably will not go away with the power of positive thinking. It's not about caring what people think. It's about not being able to not care what people think.

Link to post
Share on other sites
After reading some of these replies, there's one thing that's really stuck out to me; The whole 'misinterpretation of past events' thing.

 

Like I've stated before, growing up, I've always been told that I'm so quiet. People would ask me "why don't you talk more?". Then came the comparisons to my brother and his outgoing social personality. Constantly being told that I'm shy and quiet, and compared to my brother, I established a belief that this is the way that I am. I've let other peoples snap judgements of myself affect the way that I view myself.

 

I've always been aware that I'm doing this and it's wrong, but I struggle to control it. Is it a natural thing? Does anyone else find themselves doing this?

 

Maybe you're not shy, just quiet. Some people are just introverted without being shy. They just don't feel like talking and tend to just observe things. Quiet doesn't necessary equal shyness or anxiety. And some people who are outgoing have a lot of anxiety without it being obvious; it's false confidence. I think a lot of people tend to confuse how outgoing and social someone is with how much confidence they have.

 

Maybe your being told so often that you are quiet has made you insecure and caused the shyness you are now experiencing. Being told constantly that you are different and not as good as your brother could have made you insecure enough that now you have a problem that didn't previously exist.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
I guess the reason why I'm asking this is because I'm kind of a shy person and I feel I have a minor case of anxiety. I've read online that it is a genetic issue, which makes me think that it's impossible to overcome.

 

I can't get it out of my head that this a genetic thing, this is how I'm supposed to be. I don't want to be this way.

 

 

We have found from the people that we have worked with that fear of public speaking is driven by a belief you cannot stand up in front of other people and be confident, instead focusing on your nerves and fearing the whole event.

 

It works like a negative cycle, where the more you think about it, the more you believe it and those anxieties kick in. We know it consumes a lot of energy and can make it a very exhausting situation :( - you're probably nodding right now if you suffer from this

 

The good news is that you have learnt these feelings. You were NOT born with it and therefore it CAN BE untaught. The more you practice, the better. Believe in yourself. Learn to focus on your content rather than your self doubting thoughts which will improve the experience for you :D

 

We have a fantastic course that helps you get over your fears and have you enjoying the whole situation. Check it out at -

 

HighImpactSpeaking.net | Become a High Impact Speaker

Edited by Andy S
Link to post
Share on other sites

It's possible it could be partially genes. But not always. Anxiety could stem from lifestyle or situations you've encountered. I used to be very shy myself, now I am just introverted. I know when I need to be social. While I once in awhile get anxiety, most of the time I do not have an issue speaking up when I need to. I'd suggest reading up on books that discuss coping mechanisms and if you're one with a passive personality type, I'd highly suggest reading "When I say no, I feel guilty". It's another book about assertiveness and standing up for yourself if you have any issues in those areas, which are commonly associated with shyness and social anxiety.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...