Marriage, harder then they said!

[Metal_Muffin]

Marriage is awkward. No one tells you this, no one offers advice on the adjustment you have to face. Everybody asks 'how's married life?!' to which you smile and say 'brilliant, thank you'. How can you admit it's difficult when your made to feel your the only couple to go through this?! It's hard, it's really hard yet worth it. No one warns you that the adjustment period is hard and finding the middle ground requires both of you to give in. Your argue over stupid things that suddenly really matter, putting away the dishwasher, not leaving dirty washing on the floor, calling to say your late home. You have to look at that ring on your finger, you made a commitment, you took that person and vowed to love them whatever because you do love them. It's harder now because you have that passion to make it work, you think being newlyweds means you should be perfect, this is because no one tells you it's hard. I think it's normal for it to be hard, to argue, to change slightly. I don't believe this not going to bed on an argument either. It gives you time to sleep, think, restore. You wake up the next morning calmer and able to talk! Ever single couple is different but marriage is the same, it's committing to someone you love, not putting up with stuff and not changing. Be honest and grow together! Even though it's hard, it's all completely worth it!

[harrybrown]

If you are both trying, it is worth it. yes, it is hard work.

 

I am also a newlywed of over 35 years, with the kids and the grandchildren.

 

If both of you are not trying, it will not work. Marriage works with 2 people in the marriage, and not 3, or only one trying.

[Cococbel]

Yes, the first year is hard, lots of adjusting. I hear you!

[OpenBook]

It's beyond hard. I don't know how you married people do it. Or why, frankly.

[Silly_Girl]

Yes, the first year is hard, lots of adjusting. I hear you!

 

Why do you say that?

[Nyla]

Marriage is awkward. No one tells you this, no one offers advice on the adjustment you have to face. Everybody asks 'how's married life?!' to which you smile and say 'brilliant, thank you'. How can you admit it's difficult when your made to feel your the only couple to go through this?! It's hard, it's really hard yet worth it. No one warns you that the adjustment period is hard and finding the middle ground requires both of you to give in. Your argue over stupid things that suddenly really matter, putting away the dishwasher, not leaving dirty washing on the floor, calling to say your late home. You have to look at that ring on your finger, you made a commitment, you took that person and vowed to love them whatever because you do love them. It's harder now because you have that passion to make it work, you think being newlyweds means you should be perfect, this is because no one tells you it's hard. I think it's normal for it to be hard, to argue, to change slightly. I don't believe this not going to bed on an argument either. It gives you time to sleep, think, restore. You wake up the next morning calmer and able to talk! Ever single couple is different but marriage is the same, it's committing to someone you love, not putting up with stuff and not changing. Be honest and grow together! Even though it's hard, it's all completely worth it!

 

I don't agree that nobody tells couples that marriage is hard. My husband and I went into our marriage knowing that it would be difficult at times; our engagement and wedding was sad because of some outside circumstances. We stayed together because the love was still there. After six years together, three of those married, I can say that life has gotten better and we fight far less.

 

We don't mind going to bed angry. One thing we never do is stop communicating our feelings. We also do not withhold sex from each other while we are fighting or give each other the silent treatment.