For how many of you did the ex come back?

[Stealth3]

After dumping you initially and how long did it take for them to want to come back to you?

[Sleepyhead]

I had a dumper who came back once after two days, then dumped me again a few months later. Came back 5 or 6 months after that begging for another chance and threatened suicide when I refused. He did try to kill himself but didn't succeed and wound up the hospital for a while, haven't spoken since.

 

They come back sometimes but be careful what you wish for.

 

Edit: Forgot to add another one of my exes dumped me multiple times and came back after a few months until I finally had enough. From what I hear he is still pining for me 6 years later.

Edited October 28, 2013 by Sleepyhead

[lovelylilly]

I was in a relationship with a guy for five years. We broke up four times (we were long distance). Each time we would go no contact for two months and then one of us would cave and we'd get back together and the same problems would arise and we'd break up again. Our last break up was five months ago, we went one month without talking (I dated someone) and now we are working on a friendship. It's weird, but that's life sometimes :/.

[Mz_sassy_77]

You don't want them back. Trust me. atm you are thinking how great it would be if they would only realise their mistake. blah blah. It's a nightmare, trust me, you DON"T want them back.

[crazybestie101]

It depends from person to person and kind of bonding they shared. May be also depends on length of relation ( i disagree). See , it's kinda risky if ex came up sometime. I mean it's great if you love them and they finally realized that they want you back then it's okay. But if they don't want to come back for real reasons then i don't think so it worth it. Chances are that their feelings will change again and they will dump you. So you gotta be very careful. About me , few days back i used to be i want my ex back but some thing happened today( read my today's thread) and it just blew me away. So now i am just done and may be i only wish that somewhere down the road he will realize what he just did. That's all , i don't want anything else from him. Also, let me tell you it's only 14 days of NC and i am feeling this.

[reddragon588]

This is what we call giving yourself false hope, OP. Just because others' exes have come back doesn't mean ours will as well. Some people have won gold medals at the Olympics before, but that doesn't mean I will.

[Jord11]

9 months no contact she's gone and I have accepted it, sometimes they don't come back, one foot in front of the other

[amtz]

Originally I had joined this great forum back in 2009 do to my ex (female) dumped me out of the blue.... She went straight to dating eventually she started a relationship and I spent 1 month in hell.. 1 more month in hell till I rose back to earth!! She contacted me 7-8 months later only to give her the boot in fact she tried to get me back like 2 more times only to flip the coin on her!!! I started a whole new relationship this past november the current ex judged me and came out with excuses to break up. In a matter of a week she would come back! This week she did it again only this time I FED UP!!

 

Yeah it hurts to be dumped BUT SELF ESTEEM and M O S T IMPORTANT HAVE DIGNITY and RESPECT YOUR SELF!

 

Screw the damn exes!

[jhigh420]

My girlfriend came back after one and a half months but the amount of work I had to do to get her back...and when she came back she still didn't want to really be back. She tried to cheat on me a month later with one of her rebound guys. Now she's lil ms perfect but I'm the opposite of how I used to be. I'm very nice to her sweet kind and loving...but deep inside I feel like she never should have left. And I'm exploring other options. I don't know if we're going to make it or not but I remember people always tell me if it didn't work out once it was for a reason...I hope that's not true but I'm still mad she left in the first place.

[Helloprincess]

4 months.strict nc

[barky2]

Every single one.

 

Dumper,dumpee doesn't matter.

 

Sometimes 10+ years later.

 

But that's my story,different from everyone else's.

 

Just don't find hope in mine, nor anyone else's.

 

 

 

Barky

[Kizmet Fisher]

I think a lot of the dumpee posters here need to realise how much better it is to have a new partner run to you than an old one crawl back.

[Transplant]

I've had a few that came back, dumpers, dumpees, and a few that haven't but the ones that did come back and the ones that I tried to come back to and was successful were different; for me, neither one us truly 'came back' and that's been an important lesson to realize...maturity nor life experience didn't really matter. The past is a place for short vacations, not vocations. I'm not going to lie though, it is nice to have someone crawl back to you but for me, it's always been a selfish thing on both sides.

[Chi townD]

Mine never did!...........thank God.....

[aybc123]

depends what you mean by came back, if you mean wanted to be friends again at some point or at least to show there were no hard feelings etc then pretty much all of them so far.

 

In terms of wanting to get back together? breadcrumbs and flirting from a few after 6+ months from both dumpers and dumpees but nothing explicit (but then i never reciprocated so if they were feeling the waters then they probably backed off from the idea).

 

I've never not ever spoken on good terms with someone I cared about/ loved ever again, which is what I'm pretty terrified of at the moment.

[Nicoleiia]

Yes, 2 of my exes came back and I didn't want them in any way, shape, or form. I'm pretty sure more would have come back, but I have a habit of moving, changing phone numbers on a whim, and not having any social media accounts. So, it is very hard for anyone to find me. Oh well.

[tangerinetangerine]

I had a boyfriend who I was on-again, off-again for SEVEN long years.

 

the first time we broke up we were apart for maybe a few months. He screwed everything with legs in the meantime. We got back together for a few more months, then he moved across the country. We were apart for a year before he came crawling back. We got back together for six months before I found out he was cheating on me and I left.

 

I'm sure that provided you with absolutely zero insight (it took me YEARS to gain any myself!)

[Valen]

I don't take exes back, that's just my rule.

[loveofhorses1970]

Throughout life, I've had different break ups. Some came back, some didn't. When a break up happens, I tend to think it's completely over and done. If they come back into my life, or me into theirs, then so be it either a happy surprise or a dreaded meeting lol

[ScienceGal]

About 6 weeks. We got back together and he left me again after a couple months. About 6 weeks after that he tried to come back again and I refused to take him back. Took him back a year later thinking enough time had passed and we could start fresh, it lasted 6 months.

 

This is all my fault of course, I knew better. Like I said in a previous post, life will keep facing you with the same challenge until you learn the lesson... and I just haven't learned the goddamn lesson.

 

About 7 weeks post BU now, 6 weeks NC. I will not contact him and I hope he never contacts me again.

Edited November 1, 2013 by ScienceGal

[travelonic]

They don't come back.

 

IMO, depends - a blanket "they do," and a blanket "they don't" are equally risky guesses to make.

[Stryker101]

I had an ex take me back TWICE.

 

Looking back at it, I realized how ridiculous it was that she initiated the break-up twice and I was still willing to go back. I guess it was the hope in me that didn't think there would be a third time..but low and behold..

 

I wouldn't generalize all relationships and say NEVER go back after the first breakup...but it's something that I won't tolerate in the future ever again.