kimmi Posted January 15, 2001 Share Posted January 15, 2001 Hi again, when you find out that someone you trusted has been messing around on you how do you get over the feeling that "I should not trust anyone anymore"? I was not looking for a relationship to begin with but it ended up as one and the day after Christmas he told me that he has been with some more woman since we met, going on other dates and having sex. NOW WHAT!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted January 15, 2001 Share Posted January 15, 2001 How long had you 2 been in a relationship? How many other women has he admitted to having sex with/dating? What prompted him to 'confess' this to you, any idea? Did he do so because the guilt was getting to him? Did he promise to never cheat again? Did you both have a mutual understanding that you were ONLY seeing each other? What has he done or said to show you that he's sorry for what he's done? Do you think you can be with someone who's cheated on you like this? (I know I couldn't) Do you know for sure that he isn't continuing to date/sleep with other women behind your back? Did he tell you WHY he was doing this? Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
kimmi Posted January 15, 2001 Share Posted January 15, 2001 How long had you 2 been in a relationship? How many other women has he admitted to having sex with/dating? What prompted him to 'confess' this to you, any idea? Did he do so because the guilt was getting to him? Did he promise to never cheat again? Did you both have a mutual understanding that you were ONLY seeing each other? What has he done or said to show you that he's sorry for what he's done? Do you think you can be with someone who's cheated on you like this? (I know I couldn't) Do you know for sure that he isn't continuing to date/sleep with other women behind your back? Did he tell you WHY he was doing this? Laurynn we were together for 7 months, he and i do not talk any more, i could not takl to someone that has hurt me like this, i do not know why he told me, i never asked him why he was telling me, what i was asking? uhmm... i was looking at my hand and asking should we slap him ?and yes i did say it out loud so that he could hear it. i can only think that the reason that he told me was that he knew that i would not have anything to do with him.. he does have serious issues to deal with and i told him that he needs help. he tells me that he can not maintain a relationship and this is what happens, i told him that i think that he can not maintain control over his sexual desires. i was with someone for 12 years and when that ended i did not want to be with anyone and it took me 2 years to move on, now i want nothing at all to do relationships, this does hurt to hear it, i never want ot put myself in a situation where i feel the pain of this, not to mention that i had to go to the doctors to be checked right out.i do not know or maybe it is that i do not want to trust people. it hurts to trust... even when you know they need help. i think that my first time on here was the first problem that we were having, it is under confussed... you can read it if you wish then you will know just how weired it all was.. thank you kimmi Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted January 15, 2001 Share Posted January 15, 2001 Hi Kimmi... Please don't lose faith. I was in a very abusive/unfaithful rotten marriage......for my own safety and sanity, I left, divorced and never looked back. I was extremely hurt and discouraged. Didn't see how I'd ever trust someone again. I was very jaded, and even a little bitter. It took me 4 years to learn to be able to trust someone again...to be able to open my heart up to someone. And that guy was a dickhead.....who was not honest or truthful in so many ways. My next relationship 2 yrs after him, same thing. A liar, manipulator, a fraud. You'd think after all this I'd just give up and resign myself to the fact that I'll be single for the rest of my life...that way I won't have to risk being hurt or lied to. But I've come to the place in my life that I firmly believe that these past jerks in my life.......they were not FOR ME....but that there *IS* someone out there for me.......I just have to find him (though I'm not desperately looking...just living my life and taking one day at a time). I hope you can look deep inside and realize this too one day. There are good men out there who are kind, HONEST, loving, TRUSTWORTHY and capable of a committed relationship. I know it will take you time to learn to trust again. When you're hurt like this, you put up walls around your heart.....to protect yourself. But one day, someone is going to come along who will help break down these walls.....he'll be someone who's truly GOOD for you. You've just been with the wrong men. I'm sorry you're going through this...I've been there too. SO many people have. Please know that you're not alone...and that things WILL get better. Hugs, Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
kimmi Posted January 15, 2001 Share Posted January 15, 2001 Hi Kimmi... Please don't lose faith. I was in a very abusive/unfaithful rotten marriage......for my own safety and sanity, I left, divorced and never looked back. I was extremely hurt and discouraged. Didn't see how I'd ever trust someone again. I was very jaded, and even a little bitter. It took me 4 years to learn to be able to trust someone again...to be able to open my heart up to someone. And that guy was a dickhead.....who was not honest or truthful in so many ways. My next relationship 2 yrs after him, same thing. A liar, manipulator, a fraud. You'd think after all this I'd just give up and resign myself to the fact that I'll be single for the rest of my life...that way I won't have to risk being hurt or lied to. But I've come to the place in my life that I firmly believe that these past jerks in my life.......they were not FOR ME....but that there *IS* someone out there for me.......I just have to find him (though I'm not desperately looking...just living my life and taking one day at a time). I hope you can look deep inside and realize this too one day. There are good men out there who are kind, HONEST, loving, TRUSTWORTHY and capable of a committed relationship. I know it will take you time to learn to trust again. When you're hurt like this, you put up walls around your heart.....to protect yourself. But one day, someone is going to come along who will help break down these walls.....he'll be someone who's truly GOOD for you. You've just been with the wrong men. I'm sorry you're going through this...I've been there too. SO many people have. Please know that you're not alone...and that things WILL get better. Hugs, Laurynn i have not lost faith, i just am not sure that i will trust the way that i have.. i mean why put myself in that situation again? thank you, you are helping alot... kimmi Link to post Share on other sites
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