myangel772001 Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=darkred][/color] HI MY HUSBAND AND I JUST GOT SEPERATED 4 MONTHES AGO. WE HAVE ONLY BEEN MARRIED TWO YEARS. WE HAVE AND 18 MONTH OLD BABY GIRL. NO SHE WAS NOT THE REASON WE GOT MARRIED. IT JUST SORTIVE HAPPENED THAT WAY. HOWEVER MY HUSBAND HAS A GIRLFRIEND THAT HE LIVES WITH. WHEN WE FIRST SEPERATED HE TOLD ME THAT IT WAS HIS BEST FRIENDS SISTER AND HE JUST NEEDED SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MY HUSBAND DOESNT HAVE PARENTS OR ANY TYPE OF FAMILY, SO I UNDERSTOOD THIS IN THE BEGINNING. WELL THE OTHER DAY MY HUSBAND TOLD ME THAT HE REALLY MISSES ME AND WANTS TO COME HOME. WELL I AM NOT HOME ANYMORE I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS AND HE IS DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO LIVE HERE. WELL HE KNOWS THAT. HOWVER HE ALSO TOLD ME THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND IS PREGNANT. THEY DONT KNOW IF IT S HIS. WELL iI STILL LOVE MY HUSBAND VERY MUCH WE HAVE BEEN THERE FOR EACH OTHER SINCE WE WERE 14. i DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. HE SAYS HE WILL HAVE TO STAY WITH HER UNTIL HE FINDS ANOTHER PLACE TO LIVE. I DONT THINK I CAN DEAL WITH ALL THIS. AS MUCH AS I LOVE HIM CAN I REALLY DEAL WITH HIM HAVING ANOTHER CHILD WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. THIS WOMAN WILL NEVER BE OUT OF OUR LIVES. PLEASE HELP. IS LOVE WORTH ALL THIS? Link to post Share on other sites
blue636 Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Did you leave him or did he leave you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author myangel772001 Posted December 7, 2004 Author Share Posted December 7, 2004 WELL IF WE ARE TALKING ABOUT WHO LEFT THE HOUSE FIRST. IT WAS ME. I WENT TO LIVE AT MY PARENTS TILL WE GOT THINGS STRAIGHTENED OUT. BUT HE THEN SAID IT WAS OVER BECAUSE I KEPT LEAVING EVERYTIME WE FOUGHT. I DID IT FOR MY BABY Link to post Share on other sites
sherell Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Its really up to you to decide if love is worth all this. The first thing he needs to do is get his own place. Until he does, do not be available to him. Once he is on his own, spend time together but do not move in until you know for sure this is what you want. As far as the ow, they are not sure if your H is the father. They will only know that answer with a DNA test. If the results show he is in fact the father, you will have to decide if you can handle this. There are no easy answers here. You need to take one step at a time. What were the reasons for the separation? Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 I agree that it's up to you if love is really worth it or not. Why did you chose to leave instead of staying and trying to communicate through your problems? Was it safer to leave as oppossed to sticking it out? If he's trying to get back with you but still staying with his prego G/F that doesn't say much about his charcter now does it? Why doesn't he put up for a cheap hotel? Link to post Share on other sites
Honesty Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Can you live with this woman being in your life forever? if that kid's his you can bet she's going to be in his life for a long time. if you left it was for a reason no? maybe you deserve better then him. he did not miss you much because there is a pregnant girl by him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author myangel772001 Posted December 11, 2004 Author Share Posted December 11, 2004 I in the beginning tried to work on things with him when we fought. but we never fixed our problems. we would just make up and never solve our problems. so they got worse. yeah maybe if i stayed i wouldnt be were i am now but at that point i was tired of fighting in front of my daughter i know this woman will never be out of our lives. that is very hard for me to deal with. i mean he screwed her before why not again if hes around her. sometimes i truely believe he knows he messed up . but i do know that i will never have the same trust i had in him for the past seven years. maybe eventually but not for a while. its really hard not to make myself available to him since we have a daughter but i think i know what your saying. i think its best that i tell him i cant make any decisions untill i know what i am up against. i need to find out the babys paternity. as far as him living with her, i know he is looking for a place but its to except him to move out right away when doesnt have any family to go to. all his friends have famillys of their own. also hes a bricklayerand the weather here right now can never guarentee him work. i guess number 1 i need to stop making excuses for him. hes a man and he needs to deal with his own problems and do what hes gotta do to get what he wants I really cant blame myself either. i mean i left him and i havent slept with anyone else Link to post Share on other sites
Author myangel772001 Posted December 13, 2004 Author Share Posted December 13, 2004 ANYWAY HE CALLED ME TODAY AND SAID HE JUST SIGNED A LEASE FOR A NEW APARTMENT BUT CANT MOVE IN UNTIL JAN 1. i LOVE MY HUSBAND AND HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE. WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER SINCE WE WERE 14 i JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. DO I GET BACK WITH LIKE MY HEART SAYS? OR WHAT. I REALLY DONT KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE IT IF THE BABY IS HIS. THIS WOMAN WILL BE IN OUR LIVES ATLEAST FOR THE NEXT 18 YEARS. i AM SO CONFUSED. iS LOVE WORTH ALL THIS. PLEASE HELP. I ALSO HAVE A DAUGHTER TO CONSIDER AS WELL Link to post Share on other sites
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