upendo Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Dear Members ....... Newbie here and this situation has been bothering me ...... and hope to seek your advice here. My ex and I stayed friends for years, and we will meet and have dinner once in a while. Both of us are attached at the moment, but we went on a trip without anything happened. So I gathered we are friends, truly great friends. Then we had dinner a week ago, bar setting and we were sitting side by side, drinking and having bubbly chats. Perhaps it's a drink too many, I noticed his hand on my thigh. I didn't shove his hand off as I was analyzing the situation. He grabbed his food and his hand landed back on my thigh. Our conversation were coherent. He was tipsy but not drunk I guess. Dinner went on well and we were chatting happily throughout. After dinner, I was tipsy too, that kind of tipsy left me weak in my coordination but my mind was very awake. He noticed that and he held my hand .... fingers interlocked and walked me home. I have mixed feelings for him, on one hand, I still have feelings for him but I have learnt to hide them all these years. I treasure him as a friend who can share all my life and any romantic feelings could ruin that ....... so I have also learnt to hold back all these years and keep this friendship as it is, nothing more and nothing less. Now, with what happened that evening, is he indicating something? Would love to hear it from you all before contemplating a verdict on this friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Yesterday Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Yes, your ex is showing he is interested in you physically again. The drinks may have been a factor, but they simply allowed him a little extra courage to test himself and you by touching in a more intimate manner. Your actions by allowing his hand on your thigh, and then walking home holding hands will give him the message that you were not offended. Although you were an item at one time, now you are both attached in your relationships. You can still remain friends, but the boundaries need to be discussed. Failure to do so could destroy your friendship, or your current relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author upendo Posted October 29, 2013 Author Share Posted October 29, 2013 this is where the confusion kicks in ....... the stood a very good chance of having me when we were on a trip and it turned out to be a good friends' trip ...... and now ...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author upendo Posted October 29, 2013 Author Share Posted October 29, 2013 sometimes..... I hate myself for still having feelings for him all these years. we haven't talked about our relationship as I fear that such conversation will lead to more mind-provoking debate. all these years, I was wondering about his feelings for me every now and then. should I initiate the conversation now? asking him why he touched my thigh and held my hand .....? Link to post Share on other sites
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