DoomedLove Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 So I am in a rather complicated situation. It goes like this. I am in depression for the last 3 yrs. My then partner and now wife knew about it and still agreed to marry even though I had proposed we dont. I could not connect with her mentally then and same is the case now. I was very candid about the way I felt then and she was aware of my feelings. Dont know if the depression was the cause. Now that we are married for 6 months, I still do not feel connected to her mentally or get attracted to her physically. All the sex we've had has been totally physical and out of sexual frustration from my side, No Emotions Attached. Sex has almost stopped now. We have talked of splitting but she is not ready for that. She had lost her dad in childhood and has lives a very insecure life till we met. I know she has found that sense of security with me. She has also said many a times that I am very much like her dad. So may be that is why she fears and is not ready to take a difficult step. As for me, I dont see this marriage going anywhere. I dont know if I would want a child with her in the future. I am also out of job because of the depression. So to summarize --> ME in depression and jobless;not physically or mentally attracted to wife;Want to minimize the damage and move on;Dont want to ruin her life (She is gr8 as a person) SHE having grown up as an insecure child wants to hang on bcoz she feels protected.May be bcoz she thinks I resemble her dad's personality. She fears the worst if we split. What do I do?????? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 The first thing you need to do is take care of yourself. Get help for the depression and work to improve your life. It seems like you have someone who cares about you enough to help you through this, and you must have seen something in her to want to marry her... so try to salvage this rather than letting your condition throw it away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 The first thing you need to do is take care of yourself. Get help for the depression and work to improve your life. It seems like you have someone who cares about you enough to help you through this, and you must have seen something in her to want to marry her... so try to salvage this rather than letting your condition throw it away. Agree. Be careful what you wish for, it might come true. You might consider that, mentally and emotionally, you're not in the best condition to make major decisions and your depression could certainly be a major factor in your lack of connection and attraction. What access do you have to counseling and/or therapy? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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