lindsay1990 Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 I just haad the need to share this with you, I don't know if this site helped me or my new hobby (ballroom dancing), but I felt I need to share this with you. I received an email from my ex today. He said that after all I've done to him, he is willing to forget about that, he would like to talk things out, and that we belong together, blah, blah, blah.....I wasn't excited about that at all, I was angry. I haven't even read the email fully thru, nor have I responded. In fact, I was so upset that I blocked his email address. Strange that I moved on that quickly, after me begging him to take me back, just a few weeks back..I am affraid that I might be in denial or that I am really mad, since I allowed myself to go that low and beg a dude to talk to me and to reconsider...I have no feelings for him (or is it just my anger), but I was finally able to 'breathe' again, before his stupid email. I don't care what he thnks or does, I just hope that this isn't my denial. How very generous. Don't let him get away, this one. Ha Good job blocking him, keep making progress 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cristy Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 I was going thru really difficult time. I was one of these "psycho women" who just couldn't accept the fact, and take NO as an answer. Then I went to denial stage, when one tries to convince oneself (in order to make themselves feel better), that he'll never find anyone like me...LOL..I know, pathetic. The strangest thing is, it was only few days ago that I felt like that. I was mentally all over the place... And he send you that and you did not respond? My gosh, you're a walking miracle! Good for you! I wish you knew how you got over it so fast, i'd print that post and pin it to my wall lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted October 31, 2013 Author Share Posted October 31, 2013 And he send you that and you did not respond? My gosh, you're a walking miracle! Good for you! I wish you knew how you got over it so fast, i'd print that post and pin it to my wall lol I still can believe it myself. I just hope this isn't just a phase...I like the way I feel and I still couldn't care less about getting back together. Trying to fix something that it isn't fixable and wasn't meant to be, is waste of time. Link to post Share on other sites
cristy Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 I still can believe it myself. I just hope this isn't just a phase...I like the way I feel and I still couldn't care less about getting back together. Trying to fix something that it isn't fixable and wasn't meant to be, is waste of time. I don't think it's a phase at all. I mean you're rationalizing every comment, showing logic and clearity. And if you're feelings go with all that, it doesn't sound like a phase nor denial to me. You're seeing it now: he wasn't the one for you. If I were you I'd probably be re-reading the message over and over again, analizing every word and just blinded by the "oh he wants me back! dream come true!" and I wouldn't be able to think about all the sh*t he's put me through over the years.. Doesn't sound like you're doing that. I think you're in the clear! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted October 31, 2013 Author Share Posted October 31, 2013 I don't think it's a phase at all. I mean you're rationalizing every comment, showing logic and clearity. And if you're feelings go with all that, it doesn't sound like a phase nor denial to me. You're seeing it now: he wasn't the one for you. If I were you I'd probably be re-reading the message over and over again, analizing every word and just blinded by the "oh he wants me back! dream come true!" and I wouldn't be able to think about all the sh*t he's put me through over the years.. Doesn't sound like you're doing that. I think you're in the clear! I deleted every photo of him, every message I ever received from him, I even deleted whatsapp and viber, blocked him on skype, etc...so, I can't read anything from the "past" even if I wanted too.. I will also change my phone number tomorrow..I am not going to be a miserable, pathetic idiot anymore.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 I have no idea what to do..I received a call, from a blocked number, and it was him. I answered it, not expecting him, since I haven't responded to any of his SMS. He said something about him coming here (we were in a LDR), he lives in Germany, then he started to cry, saying that he couldn't put up with my possessivness and stubborness..He wants to "talk"..I didn't manage to say anything, because my phone "died" (battery)..He probably thinks that I hung up on him...I never saw/heard a man cry before. I am starting to think about "us" again... I am confused and have no idea what to do..First thought that came into my mind was that it is all just an act..then I started thinkng what f it isn't? I don't know what to do..I haven't switched my phone back on yet, I don't want to read his sms or have him calling me...I am in that mental conflict all over again, and it is really frustrating. Link to post Share on other sites
cristy Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I have no idea what to do..I received a call, from a blocked number, and it was him. I answered it, not expecting him, since I haven't responded to any of his SMS. He said something about him coming here (we were in a LDR), he lives in Germany, then he started to cry, saying that he couldn't put up with my possessivness and stubborness..He wants to "talk"..I didn't manage to say anything, because my phone "died" (battery)..He probably thinks that I hung up on him...I never saw/heard a man cry before. I am starting to think about "us" again... I am confused and have no idea what to do..First thought that came into my mind was that it is all just an act..then I started thinkng what f it isn't? I don't know what to do..I haven't switched my phone back on yet, I don't want to read his sms or have him calling me...I am in that mental conflict all over again, and it is really frustrating. Look, I don't know you at all and this is a bold request: BUT PLEASE DONT GIVE IN. Please? Think about the time it is right now in Germany. I'm from Spain so it's not so much of a time difference. This sort of things usally happen at night. When you're desperate and have no clue to what you're truly saying. He's being week and he's probably scared you're going on with your life. It's just my instinc talking but he's probably just terrified that you're truly over him. It might be that he truly loves you or it might just be that he's scared. Your call. But honestly after reading your previous threads and stuff.. I just wouldn't give up so easily... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 Look, I don't know you at all and this is a bold request: BUT PLEASE DONT GIVE IN. Please? Think about the time it is right now in Germany. I'm from Spain so it's not so much of a time difference. This sort of things usally happen at night. When you're desperate and have no clue to what you're truly saying. He's being week and he's probably scared you're going on with your life. It's just my instinc talking but he's probably just terrified that you're truly over him. It might be that he truly loves you or it might just be that he's scared. Your call. But honestly after reading your previous threads and stuff.. I just wouldn't give up so easily... Thank you so much cristy. I haven't switched my phone back on yet...This is really mean and rude what he is doing. I think that he is just "playing me"....Actually, I have no idea what to think.. Link to post Share on other sites
cristy Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Thank you so much cristy. I haven't switched my phone back on yet...This is really mean and rude what he is doing. I think that he is just "playing me"....Actually, I have no idea what to think.. It all comes down to you, you know? Not just you turning on your phone but really, even though right now might seem impossible, think about who he really is. No one in this forum knows as much as you do. Try to think with a clear head. Is he the kind of person that would do this on fear? Is he really the kind of person that would acknowleadge he's been wrong all this time over the phone? First of all, calling you with a blocked ID seems coward to me. Not that I have any real insight on what's going on in his mind, but if he was truly wanting to talk to you, why use a blocked ID? He seems insecure and somewhat scared. I just wanted to say.. after all the work you seem to have put on being better and getting this guy off of your system... it seems like a poor way to repay all that effort by answering a maybe desperate phone call in the middle of the night.. As I said, every relationship - and therefore, every break up- is unique. So it's your call. But just consider all the work you've done and how good you were feeling earlier Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 ..i have that urge to hug him, but then, I remember his words: "I have no feelings for you, after all the things you said to me" -and I feel disgusted..I don't want to be in this drama any more..is he doing this on purpose?!! Is this some sort of game? Because, I don't really have time nor am willing to play any sort of "emotional games"..What is the matter with him?!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 It all comes down to you, you know? Not just you turning on your phone but really, even though right now might seem impossible, think about who he really is. No one in this forum knows as much as you do. Try to think with a clear head. Is he the kind of person that would do this on fear? Is he really the kind of person that would acknowleadge he's been wrong all this time over the phone? First of all, calling you with a blocked ID seems coward to me. Not that I have any real insight on what's going on in his mind, but if he was truly wanting to talk to you, why use a blocked ID? He seems insecure and somewhat scared. I just wanted to say.. after all the work you seem to have put on being better and getting this guy off of your system... it seems like a poor way to repay all that effort by answering a maybe desperate phone call in the middle of the night.. As I said, every relationship - and therefore, every break up- is unique. So it's your call. But just consider all the work you've done and how good you were feeling earlier You are right. After I lost my dignty as a woman begging him to reconsider, I neither can nor want to be with him...I seriously feel nothing, I am sorry that he is going thru that, but than again, so was I, just a few days ago...I am free! :-) Once agan, thank you sooo much, cristy. :-) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cristy Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 ..i have that urge to hug him, but then, I remember his words: "I have no feelings for you, after all the things you said to me" -and I feel disgusted..I don't want to be in this drama any more..is he doing this on purpose?!! Is this some sort of game? Because, I don't really have time nor am willing to play any sort of "emotional games"..What is the matter with him?!! Wanna know what I think? This is a wild guess but what if he's had a little too many? what if he's actually understanding what he's lost? what if he's desperately trying to cling to the one person that has really loved him? Like, REALLY loved him. The thing is, has he showed you any of this in the past? I know, I'm sure that you have memories of being happy. But right now you have to decide what's best for YOU, not you and HIM. Forget about him. Was all the pain and the drama worth it? If so, go for it. If it wasn't, don't. I once heard this somewhere and I don't even remember where it was but it's SO true: The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. Do what's best for YOU. If he's feeling down or whatever... it's no longer your problem. Your only concern should be, what did this man really provide? Was it something postive? or was it drama and instability? Take your time... think about it... Link to post Share on other sites
cristy Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 You are right. After I lost my dignty as a woman begging him to reconsider, I neither can nor want to be with him...I seriously feel nothing, I am sorry that he is going thru that, but than again, so was I, just a few days ago...I am free! :-) Once agan, thank you sooo much, cristy. :-) You know what? And I think it's something to think about... you helped me too. By trying to help you, I reminded myself why I'm no longer in a relationship and all my insecurety just magically went away. So thank YOU for setting an example and being strong You will find someone so much better than this guy. You truly deserve it! Stay strong!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 If he loved me as much as I loved him, he would never, ever lied to me about such a serious thing, like having a surgery knowing that I am an emotional person...what kind of sick ahole comes up with a lie like that...Thank you for getting me "back to my senses", cristy.. I just felt sorry for the guy, that's it.. My feelings haven't changed, I don't have any feelings for him... :-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 You know what? And I think it's something to think about... you helped me too. By trying to help you, I reminded myself why I'm no longer in a relationship and all my insecurety just magically went away. So thank YOU for setting an example and being strong You will find someone so much better than this guy. You truly deserve it! Stay strong!!! I am sure there are great men out there, honest and loyal who are worth my attention..but honestly, I'll be fine with being single for awhile.. :-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 You are right. After I lost my dignty as a woman begging him to reconsider, I neither can nor want to be with him...I seriously feel nothing, I am sorry that he is going thru that, but than again, so was I, just a few days ago...I am free! :-) Once agan, thank you sooo much, cristy. :-) Glad to hear you feelings have turned for the better. We all have these slip ups and urges to give in. I gave in yesterday and definitely feeling the regret/emotions today. It sucks, but we all have our good and bad days. Just stay positive and remember this decision and your reasons if you ever have doubts. Re-read your old posts to remember. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I am sure there are great men out there, honest and loyal who are worth my attention..but honestly, I'll be fine with being single for awhile.. :-) Zoe, lets get coffee sometime Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 Zoe, lets get coffee sometime yeah, coffee couldn't harm.. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 (edited) Deleted reply as meant for another thread. Edited November 1, 2013 by Mz_sassy_77 Wrong Post - This reply was meant for another post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 oh well, I had my phone back on...after all the emotional messages, in the last few, I've been called a manipulative b*tch! ) Link to post Share on other sites
lindsay1990 Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Been there... when you don't act how they want you to, you are a manipulative bitch. Yep. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 Been there... when you don't act how they want you to, you are a manipulative bitch. Yep. I've changed the number.. he can now message as much as he likes. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 I have to admit, it does hurt to read something like that from someone you used to love unconditionally... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 2, 2013 Author Share Posted November 2, 2013 I went shopping today, and saw my ex hugging another woman and kissing her, etc. It didn't bother me at all. I would like to know why did he come from Germany? Why is he conatcting me, leavng notes at my door if he is with some else? I verbaly abused him, when he broke up with me, I couldn't control my "psycho attachs" on him..I accepted the fact that he doesn't want me anymore and after all the things I said probably fidns me disgusting..That's fine with me too (t's my fault )and I am fine with that. But why doesn't he want to leave me alone? Is this a joke? Is he trying to hurt me? Nothing hurt me more than hm gnoring me few weeks ago, keeping the silence, sticking with his NC....I just want to know what could be going on in a man's head, who is 36 years old? He is eloqent and calm, real gentleman (or what I imagined a gentleman to be)..this behaviour is really strange, wonder what is going on? Link to post Share on other sites
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