Author brightonrock Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 Thanks experiencethedivine ....... my post was supposed to read 'just as emotionally involved eight years on'. Link to post Share on other sites
Mamas girl Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I wish I had been that strong. I think when one or both of you are married it makes it even harder. I certainly didn't think for one minute when my relationship with OM started that I would still be just emotionally involved eight years on. Long term affairs are interesting as well as exhausting as you go through many different stages, you love, then you hate, you obsess then you find yourself becoming complacent towards them. Power games are played, you wonder who really is the one in control. You find yourself getting hopeful again, then hopes are dashed - again. you know the relationship doesn't have a future but you remain in it, a toxic habit...... It has been very hard for me as I believed he was everything I ever wanted and still do think that. In the end he viewed the relationship as one thing and I as another. I know it's over as this is the longest we have ever went not contacting each other. I would never contact him only number one out of fear of no response or two he did respond and the roller coaster begins again. He can never give me what I want and as hard as it is to accept I have no choice. I only know that I will never put myself in this situation again and feel so so much for those that are in these types of relationships right now. Even reading other posts on this very thread I consider myself "lucky" to have only been in one year. I suppose I'll think of him the rest of my life though. Link to post Share on other sites
Cdngirl5279 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 One year. Couldn't stand it any longer. Both of us married. I wanted more, he didn't. Going on three weeks NC. Think about him every day. Cry a little. Miss him so much. Have no desire to contact him though. Mine was almost a year as well, although I am not married. I miss my MM at times, but today has been a great day! Stay strong mamasgirl and take it one day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
Mamas girl Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Mine was almost a year as well, although I am not married. I miss my MM at times, but today has been a great day! Stay strong mamasgirl and take it one day at a time. Thank you so much. He actually emailed and text me today as I thought I'd never hear from him again. I have not responded and as hard as it is I don't intend to. I love him and I want to talk to him but realize it would be a step back. You please stay strong too. I'm so thankful for ls. Just reading positive things helps me get through. I realize I may be wrong for posting this here. I am sorry for that.... Link to post Share on other sites
Cdngirl5279 Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Thank you so much. He actually emailed and text me today as I thought I'd never hear from him again. I have not responded and as hard as it is I don't intend to. I love him and I want to talk to him but realize it would be a step back. You please stay strong too. I'm so thankful for ls. Just reading positive things helps me get through. I realize I may be wrong for posting this here. I am sorry for that.... I have found this forum to be helpful as I manage the uncharted territory of dealing with my personal situation. I hope you can find it to be helpful as well. In my opinion, you have nothing to be sorry about regarding your above post! I am happy to hear that you haven't responded to his email and text message. Believe me, I know how incredibly hard it is to NOT respond. I have found the last month to almost be like going through a withdrawal of some kind. I am a month out from when the *^#@ hit the fan, and it IS getting easier. Take it a day at a time.....or an hour at a time if you need to. Stay busy and active. I hope you didn't give up YOUR life to be with him - thankfully I never did that. I kept my regular routine, work, friends, family, times out with the girls. It is so incredibly important. Link to post Share on other sites
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