I don't understand him? Should I stop contact with him?

[RoxyLove]

Ok, I will try to make this short as possible, but I guess you could say me and Paul are friends. He works for my dad and even though he asked me out I rejected cause of that reason. We only hung out at parties and with friends, but never alone. So I noticed he became possessive of me and he would question all the time where I am going, and who I am with, and why I am with that person, I thought it was weird. So he would cry to me and tell me his problems, and I helped him through his tough times, but then he would ask me out then back out, and I would get frustrated cause I was willing to go out with him one on one as friends, but then he would back out, but then he would still talk to me. He told me he liked some other girl, and so I just kept a distance. Then my dad mentions that I liked this guy Jason and Paul got all jealous and weird he said "What? Roxy is way too hot for him, she is also way too good for him! If those 2 date I will never speak to her again" Like wtf? I thought he liked some other girl!?

 

And that is the first compliment I have heard from him about me. So then a couple of days later he says to my dad that we have been dating for past 3 months, and of course my dad questioned the hell out of me and I had to convince my dad that was a lie! So my friend sets me up with this other guy Jason, and Paul found out about it from my one friend, and he kept on mentioning it, and he said "I heard Jason tried kissing you!" He seemed passive aggressive about it and I knew it bothered him. He gives me these deep stares like he is staring into my soul, haha! So Paul he says "I love you" a lot to me. He is always saying that, and when I was outside he came out of his car and was like deeply staring at me and he says "I love you" real serious, lol! I am like awkward about it. Also he starts singing "You are beautiful" he is in the backseat so I don't know who he was saying that too, or if he was saying that to me, or what, lol! Cause I was in the front seat.

 

So, my dad makes me drive Paul home, and Paul is talking to another girl and flirting with her, and I am thinking really!? Are you trying to make me jelaous? I don't know what to take of that! So he makes me stop at Rite Aid, lol! We are just shopping around and he said "Wanna Makeout?" but he said it almost like it was his brain thinking it and he shouldn't have said it cause he seemed all embarrassed after he said it. I think it just came out but he wasn't suppose to say it, haha! So we leave and I am in the car and he says "So was this our first date? Does this mean we are dating?" I started laughing and I said "Oh yeah our first date at Rite Aid, haha!" He got all quiet. Then when I dropped him off at his house he said "Thank you, see ya!" real quick like he was mad.

 

Sorry for the long post, but I don't know how I should take this? Is this alarming behavior? Should I be worried? I just don't know what to do? Thanks so much for reading!!

[Philosoraptor]

He seems controlling and shows abusive tendencies. Do not get romantically involved with this nutter, and tell your dad to not put you in positions where you are alone with him.

[CC12]

Is this alarming behavior?

 

It is alarming. He clearly likes you, but he does not know how to express that in a respectful way, and he does not seem to understand normal social interactions and boundaries. That's why he believes you've been dating him for the past three months.

 

he said "What? Roxy is way too hot for him, she is also way too good for him! If those 2 date I will never speak to her again"

 

And that is the first compliment I have heard from him about me.

 

That was not a compliment. A compliment is something nice that someone tells you to your face for no reason other than to make you feel good.

 

It seems that you like him so I hope you don't find his behavior cute or endearing. It's really not. It's just weird, manipulative, and threatening.

[RoxyLove]

It is alarming. He clearly likes you, but he does not know how to express that in a respectful way, and he does not seem to understand normal social interactions and boundaries. That's why he believes you've been dating him for the past three months.

 

 

 

That was not a compliment. A compliment is something nice that someone tells you to your face for no reason other than to make you feel good.

 

It seems that you like him so I hope you don't find his behavior cute or endearing. It's really not. It's just weird, manipulative, and threatening.

 

I do like him, but I don't find his behavior cute or endearing. I find it confusing and weird, and that is why I am on this forum about it, cause I want other peoples input on the matter and I want to see other peoples opinions. But you are right! It is weird! I just don't know how to handle this, but thank you!

[spiderowl]

Sounds like he's really keen on you but fears you'd reject him. He's given you enough hints that he's attracted. Might be worth saying something like "If you want me to be your girlfriend, ask me out on a date and I'll say yes." That way, he might take the risk and your dilemma would be resolved. Mind you, it all depends whether you'd like him to be your boyfriend or not. Don't mess him about with hinting about dating if you don't want him. It wouldn't be fair.

 

His behaviour does sound a bit possessive but I suspect it's immature more than scary. If you find it gets worrying and intrusive though, you should definitely back out.

[RoxyLove]

Sounds like he's really keen on you but fears you'd reject him. He's given you enough hints that he's attracted. Might be worth saying something like "If you want me to be your girlfriend, ask me out on a date and I'll say yes." That way, he might take the risk and your dilemma would be resolved. Mind you, it all depends whether you'd like him to be your boyfriend or not. Don't mess him about with hinting about dating if you don't want him. It wouldn't be fair.

 

His behaviour does sound a bit possessive but I suspect it's immature more than scary. If you find it gets worrying and intrusive though, you should definitely back out.

 

Yeah cause from my perspective it seems like I don't like him. But I really do like him, but he works for my dad's construction company and you know what they say "Don't date the boss's daughter" I am not the malicious type though, If things didn't work out I wouldn't even tell my dad, I would just say we're friends, so maybe I should try going out with him. But what holds me back is that he likes some other girl and they are kinda close, and I heard from friends that they are having sex, but I don't know if he is trying to fill the void? Or what? But I am just confused, and don't know what to do! But you do have a very good answer! Thank you! And if I don't want him as a boyfriend I will just say it so he is not stringed along. Thanks!

[CC12]

I do like him, but I don't find his behavior cute or endearing. I find it confusing and weird, and that is why I am on this forum about it, cause I want other peoples input on the matter and I want to see other peoples opinions. But you are right! It is weird! I just don't know how to handle this, but thank you!

 

Honestly, I think you should completely stop hanging out with him. My opinion is probably colored by the fact that I'm pretty sure I remember you posting about this guy under a different account a while back. This time you left out quite a bit of the more damning stuff he did. I'm not going to out you or bring up anything specific you said in your first thread, but I think you should really take note that even leaving out the really bad things he's done, people are still saying he sounds controlling and possessive.

 

You left those things out for a reason. You know they're bad. You're ignoring a lot of red flags and I think someday you're really going to regret it if you keep going down this road. Please find some new friends.

 

Friends and boyfriends should not be so confusing. They should be easy to get along with. In a healthy friendship or relationship, you basically know how they feel about you. They don't put you on edge all the time by acting weird and passive aggressive or constantly doing things that make you go "wtf?" I don't know what you're telling yourself to justify still being friends with him, but whatever it is, you're doing yourself wrong. Don't do that to yourself.