mattyp Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Hi people heres my story rather long. My ex and i were together for 5 years. We had 3 kids in the house 1 which was ours. Engaged for 2 years. She was in nursing school in jan and had no job. She has a problem with stress and axiety and runs. So jan this year she broke up with me. Very cold shouder blamed m family and us arguing to much. 4 weeks later she got wasted and slept with a friend of mine. We saw a therapist 2 days later and shr trashed me. Then feb 13 she messaged me how she messed up and missed me and the kids. I tookher back and all seemed good. She didnt work i supported eveything andwe argued about finances. She got her nursing license in aug got a job and dumpd me 3 weeks later saying she hasnt loved me for 2-3 years and she hated myfamly.i begged and pleaded to no avail. She got on a dating site 4 dayslater and sleptwith someone 2 weeks after the breakup. Shes out all the time and pawns our son off. I miss her terribly its been since sept15th. Shes 33 im 32. Any help i try NC but i hae to talk about our son. What do i do. I want he back and shes so cold Link to post Share on other sites
TylerDurdenn Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Why the hell would you want her back? She is scum. Support your boy, and move on with your life. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MoooOinkBaaa Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Sorry to hear about that. Please can I punch her in the face? Have you arranged times to see your son? Just speak with her amicably and only when you need to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted October 31, 2013 Author Share Posted October 31, 2013 I see my son everyother weekend. I have a daughter i have custody of her. Shes called my ex mom since she was 8mths old she alwmost 5 now. My ex says nothing about her but if i bring her up she gets pissed. I dunno its been a month and half im still a mess lost my job. I just want her back. Is there anything i can do? Or am i just nuts? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted October 31, 2013 Author Share Posted October 31, 2013 Yes you can punch her in the face. When i try to speak amical she tries to bully me. She wont take any responsibilty from this. Just blames me Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 Anyone please? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Dude, she used you. Can't you see that? She came back because she didn't have anything going for her. BUT! as soon as she got her nursing license, she was out the door! And fast! You didn't deserve that. You need to forget her. Not what you wanted to hear, but it's true. What you need to do is start to focus on being the best Dad that you can be. You're hung up on your Ex and she's hung up on getting out and getting laid, you got to very young kids that are scared and confused and they need at least one parent. Since your Ex has her head so far up her ass, it falls to you. They need you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 2, 2013 Author Share Posted November 2, 2013 Man thats a hard pill to swallow. I feel like shes my peak and i cant do better. Im doing best i can for my kids. People just use ppl like this? She wanted to get married so bad and yadda yadda. I belueved it all Link to post Share on other sites
sambo77 Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 I sometimes read posts that are so chillingly close to my own situation. It's like your post is almost a rehash of my story Matty. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I also know how tough it is having full custody of a child and trying to keep your ***** together for them as you silently grieve and suffer inside. It's tough. The dating site thing is a huge slap in the face. Is she the "type" to constantly need male attention or the distraction of a relationship? My ex had literally never been out of a relationship in her life...don't think she had a clue who "she" really was. I know you want her back. I still want mine back. But it ain't gonna happen at the moment...not by the sounds of it. Sounds like she's one of those who need to overtly demonstrate (to herself) that she's moved on...big, obvious displays of a new lifestyle. I think that some people cope with grief, endings, guilt, and any undesirable emotion not by facing and acknowledging the feelings head on...but by suppressing them, avoiding them, and running from them. My ex is coping with things (as she always did) by drinking copious amounts of alcohol, partying like she's 18 (she's 35, with 3 little kids), and dating like there's no tomorrow. I know she's running from feelings she's buried inside for years. While she has her head down and is careering forward into the next train wreck I don't think we have a hope in hell of stopping her. And it's probably in our best interests not to try. And Mooo...can you punch mine in the face too? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 2, 2013 Author Share Posted November 2, 2013 How long were u together and how long split so far? From the beginning she always had dudes texting her late hours and it wasnt a big deal i shouldnt worry about it. But if my phone would go off i was cheating and what not. Never did mind u. We were part of a swinger site never did anything but it actually hurt us when we broke up in jan. Shes a very sexual person she craves it but still wants her man at home. As far as i know she never cheated. No matter what i did it was never good enough. I still find my self wanting her but y. She was and is cruel Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 2, 2013 Author Share Posted November 2, 2013 She said many times while i was trying and crying andbegging to get her back that she doesnt have relationship feelings its over. Shes moved on i need to too. She is abslutley drowning in our home financially. I lost my job last week because of this crap. She went from all lovey and yadda and heres our plan to move forward and how we were gonna get through everything relying on eachother. That was fri sept 13 and sept 15 i got dumped. Shes been cold and heartless ever since. Why? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 I am sorry she treated you like this. You need to be there for your kids & if you can find it in your heart don't punish her kid; be nice to him too but that dosen't mean you have to support him. Meet with lawyers to find out about your rights & responsibilities concerning your son. You might want to ask if where you live has palimony & whether you are entitled to reimbursement for supporting her while she was in school. Then work on healing & getting over her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smuggy95 Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 dude she might be borderline Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 2, 2013 Author Share Posted November 2, 2013 What is borderline Link to post Share on other sites
rnsrnsrns00 Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 Always try to set a good example for your children. When in doubt, think of the children. Goodluck and I'm sorry you had to go through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 2, 2013 Author Share Posted November 2, 2013 Thanks everyone. To think i was used by someone i gave my heart to. Link to post Share on other sites
sambo77 Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 She said many times while i was trying and crying andbegging to get her back that she doesnt have relationship feelings its over. Shes moved on i need to too. She is abslutley drowning in our home financially. I lost my job last week because of this crap. She went from all lovey and yadda and heres our plan to move forward and how we were gonna get through everything relying on eachother. That was fri sept 13 and sept 15 i got dumped. Shes been cold and heartless ever since. Why? It really is impossible to know why Matty. It can happen gradually but I've even read accounts of people saying that their feelings quite literally disappeared overnight (they just wake up and don't love their ex any longer). There can be a specific and obvious reason for it and sometimes the person themselves has no idea. Only your ex can enlighten you about this...mine didn't care to. So...you're ultimately just left with the unpalatable fact that she doesn't love you and doesn't want to be with you. And I know how hard that is to swallow. I've been in LTRs where I had times when it felt as though my "feelings" for the other person were going away. I found a couple of times that with honesty, compassion, and perseverance my feelings came back stronger. If I'd have bailed I'd never have found that out. I'm a believer in trying everything before giving up...my ex clearly didn't share this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 My EX dumped me after 3 years together. No argument, no indication, just one day it's over. A week later he slept with someone else, joined a dating site, and now is cracking onto anyone he can. He basically used me while it was convenient and suited him and when it wasn't anymore dumped me. I think some people just don't get that attached to the OP. I think some people have no morals. I think some people are liars and users. It sucks I know Matty. You don't want her back. She will do it again, trust me. That's the kind of person she is. Don't waste anymore years on her. I know how this sort of relationship ends and it's not good. You deserve better then this and your kids deserve better then this. It must be very confusing for them - and that's not your fault - but not very stable for them is it. You need to start getting your head around the fact that she is not the person for you and it is over. Then you can start to heal and move forward in your life with your kids. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 3, 2013 Author Share Posted November 3, 2013 We got into an arguement and my ex punch me. I was at a coaches meeting. I took too long. I did grab her after she punched me. She hit mealot. My friend talked to her she has no idea i talk to this person. She told him she hasnt heard from me in a week maybe he died and she was smiling. Also said maybe he found someone and will leave me alone. Hurts Link to post Share on other sites
lindsay1990 Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 (edited) Whoa wtf. I think this is all the sign you need that this girl is bad news. I mean, I slapped a guy once (like a movie slap), he would call me crazy and irrational when we argued and I'd warned him that if he ever called me crazy again I'd slap him because I never called him crazy/stupid, and in the following fight he screamed at that I "was not dealing in reality" and once I replied that just because I could be wrong didn't mean I was irrational, he snapped back that I had issues and was CRAZY so, ha. Slapped. Not proud of it at all but felt like a classless bitch. HOWEVER and I may be alone in this, a punch seems so different. I'm not trying to rationalize a slap but in the context is feels more symbolic while a punch feels downright assaultive. You also say she hit you a lot, I'm sorry you had to experince this but this is a person who shows not even the slightest consideration to you as a fellow human. It will be hard but good riddance, stay strong. Edited November 3, 2013 by lindsay1990 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 3, 2013 Author Share Posted November 3, 2013 Jesus i have all the answers here but i still love her. Not saying i was perfect she punched me i grabbed her by the kneck and put her on the couch to chill out. She always said if u step up like a man expect to be treated like one. Not that im abusive. This happend in front of her cousin who i believe played a big role in her leaving me. I never cheated but i could do nothing right nothing was good enough. She had me timed coming home from work if i was a cpl mins behind. If i went to the landfill she gave me crap. It was 10 mins round trip maybe 15 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 4, 2013 Author Share Posted November 4, 2013 Really dying to message her! No contact for over a week. Ready to crumble. Help!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 4, 2013 Author Share Posted November 4, 2013 She dumped me but do i show how much i miss her! Ladies hèlp Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 Dont crumble Matty. I was subjected to violence. Stay away and try to move on. It will be hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 She dumped me but do i show how much i miss her! Ladies hèlp You don't miss her (Keep telling yourself this) Link to post Share on other sites
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