Chi townD Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 Sorry dude, you need to move on. She cheats on you, uses you, physically AND verbally abuses you, finds it funny wishing you were dead.....seriously, if you look at it that way, what is there to miss? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 5, 2013 Author Share Posted November 5, 2013 So my ex just called me. i thought it was my son but it was her so i answered. she said for me.to take the pic of me and my son off my dating profile. so.i hung up on her. she called back and demanded me do it. i said no hes my son too. hes part of me. she got abgry threatend me then.hung up....i havent had contact in over a week. Should i have answered? Did i just mess up? Did she really call for that? Ladies!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 So my ex just called me. i thought it was my son but it was her so i answered. she said for me.to take the pic of me and my son off my dating profile. so.i hung up on her. she called back and demanded me do it. i said no hes my son too. hes part of me. she got abgry threatend me then.hung up....i havent had contact in over a week. Should i have answered? Did i just mess up? Did she really call for that? Ladies!!!! Why did she demand that you take a pic of your son down? Is she the mother? Block her phone number if she's not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 5, 2013 Author Share Posted November 5, 2013 Yes shes his mother.is that wrong? Lots of ppl have pics of their kids on dating sites Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 So my ex just called me. i thought it was my son but it was her so i answered. she said for me.to take the pic of me and my son off my dating profile. so.i hung up on her. she called back and demanded me do it. i said no hes my son too. hes part of me. she got abgry threatend me then.hung up....i havent had contact in over a week. Should i have answered? Did i just mess up? Did she really call for that? Ladies!!!! If a pic is that important, why can't age take one herself?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 5, 2013 Author Share Posted November 5, 2013 She doesnt want our son seen on a dating site with me. But hes an important part of my life and im a package deal. Was this a lousy attempt to contact me or she just wanted to be a b*tch? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 5, 2013 Author Share Posted November 5, 2013 Anyone have any input? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 (edited) Yes you can punch her in the face. When i try to speak amical she tries to bully me. She wont take any responsibilty from this. Just blames me you dont love her if you would let someone punch her in the face or incite it.....you would not want anyone to hurt her at all emotionally physically or otherwise even if it is from a palce fo fantasy...you dotn go there and icnite toehrs who have no knowledge o rbackground on gf to make judgement you had good eyars no......where you woudl stand up for her agaisnt others yet here you are aloolowing another to trash her......as she has trashed you ...bti fo revenge maybe...... .My ex did many things wrong by me not at my worst did i ever get violent with him eh did a lot right by me one was putting up with my ass..... .....so i turned my struggle inwards and worked on me.....i accepted reality it was tiem fro us to end.......didn't project it on to him my hurt side or my angry side...i tried my hardest to be amicable as you put it.....talk to his logical side......you are not ebign amicable by feeling or inciting violent thoughts......you need dsistance and i think therapy to deal with resentment and hurt you are holding onto.......i wish you well.....with this awkward and painful situation....decide how you really feel about her ...dig deep you will remember why you are so hurt.........deb ps i am a bit dyslexic so if i have missed soem its because i cant see it Edited November 6, 2013 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
sam-confused Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 Matty you really need to be their for your son right now. I know your hurting but your son sounds like hes in the middle if something terrible with both parents hitting back at each other. She isn't worth it honestly. she has slept with different men and I can tell you that this is because she is hurting over you but shes gone the wrong way about it. personally I couldn't take someone back if i knew they slept with other men. please try not to hang up on her and get her to talk reasonably to you about your son and getting to see him and spend time with him whilst you both come to some sort of agreement and understanding that you can't keep hurting each other and fighting. you need to be civil for your son's sake. as for her telling you to take the photo of you and your son of a dating web site i think she did it to try to gain some control. she is diving in and out of things and she too is loosing it so controlling where your son's photo appears is her trying to grasp at what she can before shes completely lost. You really need to let her find her way before even thinking about being together again which i think is a very bad idea unless she can prove shes back for good and sorry and you can truly forgive her. let her go for now and heal your self and just try to spend time with family and friends as much as you can. if you love her, it shows you really don't love yourself to let her mess you around like this. sam. Link to post Share on other sites
sam-confused Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 can I ask how old your son is? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 6, 2013 Author Share Posted November 6, 2013 My son is 4. He and the other 2 kids have not seen us fight. I would never let anyone hurt her at all. Yes my ego is shot i believe she was my one. We are amical to a degree she just wants control of everything. I texted her asking if i coukd take my son thurs instead of fri and bring him sun. She said y cant i bring him to daycare mon. I said i have an appt and its 45mins away. Says she doesnt get a day to breathe but neither do i. I have my daughter full time. I told her this whole situation was her choice this is what she wanted. She said her situation is fine. I said u were just complaining u couldnt breathe. I said u made the choice made mad ur bed. She said good bye dont text me again.... Hit a nerve? Link to post Share on other sites
sam-confused Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 it's good your kids haven't seen you fighting. I think one of the most important things is to keep that up. I know that you wouldn't want anyone to hurt her but the truth is you are both hurting each other every time you both speak. And there's nothing you can do about this. When relationships end the hurt will continue for quite a while. It's great to hear you were trying to come to an agreement about having you son over to see you but I think saying to her that she can't breath because this is what she wanted really wasn't the right way to say it. But i completely understand how strained the phone call must have been so yes it's perfectly normal to get a bit angry or upset and say that. I think that did hit a nerve yes. This is another way of you hitting out at her without really realizing or meaning to. It's a way for you to show her how your hurting. Call her up again don't text her and apologize for saying that (i know it doesn't seem like you need to as it wasn't your fault, but it will help progress conversation). Next say calm as ask in a normal vioce if you could take (your sons name) back to your place on thursday instead of friday and then you can bring him back to her on the Monday after day care or whenever you were planning to. if you keep calm and open to a solution then hopefully you will see your son on Thursday. don't let her have a dig at you if she doese say anything that you want to answer back to don't just say to her. I'm just interested in sorting out a time to see our son could we please figure something out? good luck matty hope you can come to some sort of arrangement and let me know how you get on. Sam. Link to post Share on other sites
sam-confused Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 I was wondering about your son's age because if he was older I though you could have asked him what he wanted but If hes only 4 then I think it's up to both you and your ex to sort things out and be fair about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 6, 2013 Author Share Posted November 6, 2013 Sam why call up and apologize? This was her choice. I have my daughter full time so i dont get to breathe either. I want to get her back. I dont wan to seem weak. I miss her but i dont want her thinking she can control me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 6, 2013 Author Share Posted November 6, 2013 Were both in this situation of struggle and no time to breathe because she made this choice to just up and go. Link to post Share on other sites
sam-confused Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 If you apologize it will show you as the bigger stronger person not week and submissive. If you show yourself to be above it all then she has no true control and she will realize this. Also by apologizing for something that is not expected will throw her off a bit and make her look at the problems she's created from running away. I know you are in the same situation looking after your daughter full time on your own and this is completely not your fault. But you do need to stay strong and self dependant untill she has become responsible for her actions and can set them right and keep on track. Link to post Share on other sites
sam-confused Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Matty do the best job you can do and just by knowing you have done your best in a hard situation will help you become stronger through this ordeal. san. Link to post Share on other sites
sam-confused Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Also I know how much you want her back but a strong relationship will not happen if she isn't fully prepared and if she will just do it again. She needs to be fully comitted if you get back together. And only she can make it happen because its her that's running away. Give it alot of time maybe a couple of months and make sure she means it when she says sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattyp Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 Sam im trying to remain NC. So if i apologize it willbreak the NC. But how would i would i do the apologize. Just call up say hey i just want to apologize for saying you did this it was your choice. And hang up? Link to post Share on other sites
sam-confused Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 in circumstances without kids then NC would be the best things to do but you have kids and for their sakes you do need to keep in contact. if you called up and said to her I'm sorry that I got frustrated and angry with you about leaving. I shouldn't have pointed the finger at you. I want you to realize that this is hard for me to deal with but all I want is to remain civil for the sake for the kids so we can both spend time with them equally. Link to post Share on other sites
hera Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Matt, you have no reason to apologize to her. The reason you apologize is when you need to be sorry for something you truly did. Last time I checked she dumped you FOR THE SECOND TIME. When some one is hell bent on power and control they want you to apologize for their mistakes, because they feel they don't nothing wrong. It won't open up conversation you know that. That is ridiculous! stay strong and focus on your priorities. As you know in previous conversations with this woman that no amount of APOLOGIZING will resolve anything. You have allowed her to beat you up and knock you down. NEVER say sorry for something you did! If she can't own her mistakes that is her problem not yours!! you can only control yourself not other people!! Link to post Share on other sites
hera Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 yeah and at this point she doesn't care how you're feeling. you need to set the tone and be civil no matter what. Link to post Share on other sites
hera Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 wrote the first post fast.. I meant to say never apologize for something you did NOT do! Link to post Share on other sites
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