How to get my wife back after separation

[jc63]

My wife and I have been married for two years. We're both young and in school with no kids. I have been a musician for many years and have planned to quit and begin a new career while my wife works in the medical field.

 

Two days ago, when I got home from the road, she sat me down and told me she didn't love me anymore and that we would be separating. My music schedule had been very busy the last couple of months and I was gone all the time. Also, when I was home, I didn't want to do anything except catch up on homework and prepare for the next weekend of traveling and playing music. I know I was not the man or the husband she deserves. I love her with all my heart but I let the petty life of a low-level musician get in the way. Playing music is no longer my dream and I just want to be her husband and the future father of her children. However, the years of me making little money and being dependent on her caused her to not be attracted to me. I'm ready to become a better man for myself and for her, but I don't know if it's going to work.

 

Just looking for advice,

More details if needed.

[beach]

Change things for bettering YOURSELF!

 

She will do what's best for her - and you need to change things.

 

If you've been out playing music and not earning much money - and depending on her to be happy, married but feeling alone - that's not nice.

 

If she's left alone and the one to figure out how to make ends meet - she may as well be on her own.

 

You've participated on a level that didn't nurture the marriage.

 

These are consequences - next marriage you may want to pay more attention to taking proper care of your wife - be at least an equal partner.

[what_a_blonde]

My wife and I have been married for two years. We're both young and in school with no kids. I have been a musician for many years and have planned to quit and begin a new career while my wife works in the medical field.

 

Two days ago, when I got home from the road, she sat me down and told me she didn't love me anymore and that we would be separating. My music schedule had been very busy the last couple of months and I was gone all the time. Also, when I was home, I didn't want to do anything except catch up on homework and prepare for the next weekend of traveling and playing music. I know I was not the man or the husband she deserves. I love her with all my heart but I let the petty life of a low-level musician get in the way. Playing music is no longer my dream and I just want to be her husband and the future father of her children. However, the years of me making little money and being dependent on her caused her to not be attracted to me. I'm ready to become a better man for myself and for her, but I don't know if it's going to work.

 

Just looking for advice,

More details if needed.

 

How long have you all been separated for? Also, did she ever try to bring any of this to your attention before telling you she was leaving (i.e. her unhappiness in the marriage and her loneliness)? Have you two been in contact since she left?

 

If she didn't at least give you the opportunity to fix this and bring it to your attention ahead of time, then there's greater issues. All marriages go through bumps and forks in the road, however as a couple you should work through it. Go to counseling, trying your HARDEST to make sure you won't regret ending the marriage, and trying your hardest to make sure you did every possible thing to save the marriage.

[Misadventure]

Change things for bettering YOURSELF!

 

She will do what's best for her - and you need to change things.

 

If you've been out playing music and not earning much money - and depending on her to be happy, married but feeling alone - that's not nice.

 

If she's left alone and the one to figure out how to make ends meet - she may as well be on her own.

 

You've participated on a level that didn't nurture the marriage.

 

These are consequences - next marriage you may want to pay more attention to taking proper care of your wife - be at least an equal partner.

 

I agree alot with what is said here...

 

It may be too late to do anything... she is Independent and she has been without you on and off, and used to being alone. Most likely emotionally as well.

 

The first several yrs of the marriage are so important to establish the bond and keep the connection.

 

I am sorry you are going through this... you may attempt to reconnect and show her the kind of man you are trying to be now..but it may be too late. There is alot of resentment that may be built up.

[d0nnivain]

Apologize.

 

Tell her you want to fight for your marriage. Ask her what you can do to bring the spark back & then do it.

 

You probably didn't pay enough attention to her & just expected her to take care of you & the house. Change those behaviors. Ask if you can date / court her again before she completely gives up on you two.