Sweetz Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 I was cleaning out my closet this past weekend and ran across a gift I got from the OM two year ago. I was given a very expensive diamond tennis bracelet from him. I have not worn it since 2002 but not sure what I should do with it. I know it was expensive but the memories it brings back for me are so painful that I have to get rid of it to move forward with my life. What should I do with it? I hate to just throw it out but I don't know what other options I have. Link to post Share on other sites
Queen B Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Sell it and buy something nice or have the rocks set into a different bracelet. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Don't keep it...and don't keep the rocks either. Sell it, and use the money to do something nice for you and the husband together...its the least the OM could do for you two!! Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 But I probably wouldn't tell the husband where the money came from...just have a good feeling in your heart knowing that you really did something better with that money than was meant with it. You're husband would tell you to throw it out, cause he's hurt as heck right now. I know that would be my first response to the wife...but the truth is, why waste it? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Originally posted by Sweetz I was cleaning out my closet this past weekend and ran across a gift I got from the OM two year ago. I was given a very expensive diamond tennis bracelet from him. I have not worn it since 2002 but not sure what I should do with it. I know it was expensive but the memories it brings back for me are so painful that I have to get rid of it to move forward with my life. What should I do with it? I hate to just throw it out but I don't know what other options I have. You could sell it on Ebay, You could put an ad in your local Newspaper and sell it, You could take it to a pawn shop.. Don't throw it away.. but do get rid of it by one of the means to sell it.. Then use the money for something good;) Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Donate it to charity? Link to post Share on other sites
Joyce Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 I gave my gifts from the OM to charity. Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Get rid if it however you need to. Toss it in the trash, they're just shiney rocks that remind you of a bad thing you did. Or donate to charity. Don't think of the monitary value at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 13, 2004 Author Share Posted December 13, 2004 All great advice. I may try a pawn shop but I know they don't pay jack for jewelry. Ebay is an option but then again, like you said, I shouldn't care about the money. But it would be nice to spend on the hubby and I. And I agree, he doesn't need to know where this money came from. Thanks LS! Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 I agree with a couple of the others: hock it and buy something nice for your husband with the money. Ideally, something he's mentioned that he wants, something that will show that you've been listening to him, even before he knew everything. I probably wouldn't tell him where the money came from. But you'll know: you'll have taken something that was a product of affair energy and converted it into a bit of force for marriage renewal. Poetically, I don't think you can get any better than that. Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 If I were to receive some nice gift from my wife and somehow some day to find out it was the result of cashing in an expensive gift from some guy my wife had been banging, I'd be totally disgusted. It would not enhance things between us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 13, 2004 Author Share Posted December 13, 2004 I understand Michelangelo. How about if I just cashed it for whatever I could get and go out on the night dinner, movie, etc no holds barred on the prices. I figure I should just get rid of it and blow the money as quickly as I can on us. I agree I wouldn't buy something tangible he could keep around. I would know where the source of the money was from and that wouldn't sit right with me. Link to post Share on other sites
TMCM Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Originally posted by michelangelo If I were to receive some nice gift from my wife and somehow some day to find out it was the result of cashing in an expensive gift from some guy my wife had been banging, I'd be totally disgusted. It would not enhance things between us. I agree. Your intentions are good but the affair was a murdering of marital trust and anything that comes from it would be like 'blood money'. Ask yourself if the roles were reversed, would you like to have your H give you a nice gift that came from the proceeds of a gift by his XOW during his affair? It's your call what you do with it, but please consider the option of donating it to charity. TMCM Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 I woudn't want anything to do with the poisoned fruit. No good times, no fancy gift, de nada, if it were me and my wife did this. Two dollars, 20, 2,000, or 2 million bucks. It wouldn't matter. See, you cannot turn vinegar into wine. Does he know about the affair? Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Maybe you could turn it over to Husband and let him make the decision. You know, that whole "open book" thing. Might make him feel a bit more in charge. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Actually, on reflection I'd like to change my suggestion and go with what Ladyjane said. That way, everything's above board and he will feel some control. Just remember, though: if he wants to go with you and watch you throw it in the river/lake/ocean/sewer, agree to that, without hesitation. After all, it's only a bracelet. Your marriage is worth way more than that. Let him call the shots on this. Don't necessarily act like you're indifferent as to what happens to it, but it's OK to tell him that you don't know what's the appropriate thing to do in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 13, 2004 Author Share Posted December 13, 2004 Originally posted by michelangelo I woudn't want anything to do with the poisoned fruit. No good times, no fancy gift, de nada, if it were me and my wife did this. Two dollars, 20, 2,000, or 2 million bucks. It wouldn't matter. See, you cannot turn vinegar into wine. Does he know about the affair? Yes he knows about it. I wrote about it in a thread and basically got the courage to confess to him because of this forum and the great people in it. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t51355/ I think I am going to go home, take the bracelet, break it into pieces, and throw it away in the trash away from home in case anyone recovers it nearby where I live. It's like closing the last chapter in the book I wish I never read. I'll let you know how it goes tonight. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Sell it and donate the money to someone who's having a hard time with Christmas, funds wise. Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Originally posted by Ladyjane14 Maybe you could turn it over to Husband and let him make the decision. You know, that whole "open book" thing. Might make him feel a bit more in charge. DITTO DITTO DITTO.... BUT , as I think if it......on the other hand....speaking from a betrayed H point of view..... IT may also bring back bad thoughts of what happened. He may ask questions about when and where and why the OM gave it to you.....I know in my situ....the smallest little things would sometimes bring me right back to the hurt I felt on D-Day..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 13, 2004 Author Share Posted December 13, 2004 Originally posted by ThumbingMyWay DITTO DITTO DITTO.... BUT , as I think if it......on the other hand....speaking from a betrayed H point of view..... IT may also bring back bad thoughts of what happened. He may ask questions about when and where and why the OM gave it to you.....I know in my situ....the smallest little things would sometimes bring me right back to the hurt I felt on D-Day..... That's the only reason I don't want to involve him in this process is because I don't want to hurt this man anymore. I'd rather lose the money I could have gotten from the bracelet to the trash can. Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Originally posted by Sweetz That's the only reason I don't want to involve him in this process is because I don't want to hurt this man anymore. I'd rather lose the money I could have gotten from the bracelet to the trash can. Not that the ladder is a bad choice.....but as I think of it more.....you are making the right decision Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Sweetz, Consider pawning it and giving the dough to someone who's hungry, or buy a little girl or boy that you don't know a toy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 13, 2004 Author Share Posted December 13, 2004 Moose I am either going to pawn it for whatever I can get and donate money or throw it in the trash in a bunch of little pieces. Good advice from everyone as usual. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Originally posted by ThumbingMyWay .... IT may also bring back bad thoughts of what happened. He may ask questions about when and where and why the OM gave it to you.....I know in my situ....the smallest little things would sometimes bring me right back to the hurt I felt on D-Day..... Yeah, problem is that the bad thoughts come sometimes no matter what you do or how good things are going. I'd hate for Sweetz to get caught in another lie. Even one by omission. She's come so far already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 13, 2004 Author Share Posted December 13, 2004 It's official. It is going in the trash. I refuse to take even one step back in my progress I have made with my husband after the mistakes I have made. And for the heck of it, I'll donate my own hard earned money to charity for the holidays. Thanks everyone for your advice once again. Link to post Share on other sites
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