Just sad

[CaliCol]

I left my H. I am absolutely heartbroken as I sit and reflect on things. I left. I didn't want to be there anymore.

 

I am angry at him. I am angry he didn't do the things he said he would. I am angry at all the lies. I finally decided to stop believing him. On me. I feel better about standing up for me, and doing it on my own. I have a good job and I have worked hard for it. I continue to work hard to move up further in this world.

[Dark_history]

Not sure what you are looking for by posting. Honestly the post is very vague other than you left.

[Assasda]

Not sure what you are looking for by posting. Honestly the post is very vague other than you left.

 

Super vague

[2sure]

Its hard. Even if you're angry, even when you have good reason to leave.

You have to be the cold one, pack your bags, file the paperwork .

I'm glad you are able to make it on your own. But I get it, you loved him and you didn't want it to be this way.

 

It takes time. It's heartbreaking. Not just the divorce, not just leaving your spouse. It's the dreams and hopes that you've lost as well.

 

Make new visuals of how you see yourself in the future. I know it sounds like a small thing, but it works. New dreams.

[CaliCol]

Sorry guys. I hit enter before I was ready to, then I went to edit, then went to submit my post, and I wasn't logged in anymore! Lol. Sorry. I didn't mean to leave it at that. I cannot edit that though. Bah!

 

I am broken. So very confused, hurt, angry and in denial. I have gone through the emotions a time or two now and denial is certainly still something I swing back to every now and then.

 

 

He asked me if there was someone else. There isn't any other man. Not even a little bit. I am sitting at home miserable missing him and wondering why we couldn't make it work. My new home, without him. I actually love it on one hand and hate it on the other.

 

As I sit here and tell you I don't want to be with him, I am dying inside missing him. His face, his hands, his laugh, his smell, his voice, his eyes, his silly sense of humour, the way he held me, the way he fit around me like a glove. He was protective and helpful most of the time, and a really sweet guy. He had a lot of selfish qualities about him and often overlooked how others feel. It was strange how he could be so caring, and then so thoughtless.

 

I don't really know if I am ready for divorce. He is making me as miserable as he is. I have tried to help. He wants to be unhappy it seems. I refuse to stand by and watch the train wreck unfold. I feel very down when I am around him a lot of the time, to the point that I will soon need drugs for depression. It is unhealthy for me to be around him at the moment when he wont get help because it is taking every ounce of my being just to keep my mouth shut and not tell him to suck it up because life sucks sometimes. I still feel angry. I am not indifferent. I do not want this. I wanted him to step up. I want him. I don't want another man, and I don't want to be alone.

 

I have explained how lonely I feel many times. He has done nothing, if not less since I have started talking to him about how lonely, miserable, and needy I felt. I have told him about these feelings for a year or more now. Nothing has changed and if anything, our sex life diminished more.

 

We fight, we are mean, we withhold truths from one another because we are fearful of the reaction (don't feel safe to share openly with one another about everything, without being yelled at for how you feel.) This is on both of us.

 

I have been neglected sexually and emotionally for a long time, and it isn't for lack of trying to figure it out. We have talked and tried and did all the things couples should do when they want to spice up their sex life, and we have gone to counsellors to try and help fix the problems in our relationship. It isn't working.

 

I miss touching him and just being wrapped up in him. I miss the way he smells. I miss a lot of things about him and feel sad its over, even though I know its right. It hurts. I sincerely don't know what the hell my heart feels. I miss him and really don't at the same time.

 

Is this a normal feeling? We are 29 and 32, and about a month from our split. The last few months have been really rocky and we had talked of splitting up a lot before I actually left. I made sure I had a place set up, and let him know what my plans were after I made them. We have been together for 10 years, and been through everything but infidelity. Im exhausted.

[CaliCol]

Its hard. Even if you're angry, even when you have good reason to leave.

You have to be the cold one, pack your bags, file the paperwork .

I'm glad you are able to make it on your own. But I get it, you loved him and you didn't want it to be this way.

 

It takes time. It's heartbreaking. Not just the divorce, not just leaving your spouse. It's the dreams and hopes that you've lost as well.

 

Make new visuals of how you see yourself in the future. I know it sounds like a small thing, but it works. New dreams.

 

Thank you for this. It brought tears to my eyes. I know I am done. I have tried. I have loved him dearly and still do but love just aint enough all the time. I will always love him, but I don't care to spend my life with him anymore. I want us both to be happy. I miss being happy. I wish it were with him, but its not.

[Dark_history]

You are still being very vague:

 

Sorry guys. I hit enter before I was ready to, then I went to edit, then went to submit my post, and I wasn't logged in anymore! Lol. Sorry. I didn't mean to leave it at that. I cannot edit that though. Bah!

 

I am broken. So very confused, hurt, angry and in denial. I have gone through the emotions a time or two now and denial is certainly still something I swing back to every now and then.

 

Denial of what? What is causing you confusion?

 

He asked me if there was someone else. There isn't any other man. Not even a little bit.

 

Okay here we actually have something. He seems to think you were seeing someone else, why? Has he always had trust issues? Has something happened to cause trust issues?

 

I am sitting at home miserable missing him and wondering why we couldn't make it work. My new home, without him. I actually love it on one hand and hate it on the other.

 

Make what work? Again no information as to what went wrong...

 

As I sit here and tell you I don't want to be with him, I am dying inside missing him. His face, his hands, his laugh, his smell, his voice, his eyes, his silly sense of humour, the way he held me, the way he fit around me like a glove. He was protective and helpful most of the time, and a really sweet guy. He had a lot of selfish qualities about him and often overlooked how others feel. It was strange how he could be so caring, and then so thoughtless.

 

Again still nothing, you are saying you miss him, he was caring but yet thoughtless. How was he these things

 

I don't really know if I am ready for divorce. He is making me as miserable as he is.

 

How? Why he is miserable?

 

I have tried to help. He wants to be unhappy it seems. I refuse to stand by and watch the train wreck unfold.

 

What train wreck? Again vague terms

 

I feel very down when I am around him a lot of the time, to the point that I will soon need drugs for depression. It is unhealthy for me to be around him at the moment when he wont get help because it is taking every ounce of my being just to keep my mouth shut and not tell him to suck it up because life sucks sometimes. I still feel angry. I am not indifferent. I do not want this. I wanted him to step up. I want him. I don't want another man, and I don't want to be alone.

 

Again still nothing. What is causing the depression? What does he need help with? And than you say he needs to suck it up, but still no information on what that is.

 

I have explained how lonely I feel many times. He has done nothing, if not less since I have started talking to him about how lonely, miserable, and needy I felt. I have told him about these feelings for a year or more now. Nothing has changed and if anything, our sex life diminished more.

 

What is making you lonely? You mention your sex life has dimished more, is that the issue? Sex issues can be any number of things, again we are not given any information.

 

We fight, we are mean, we withhold truths from one another because we are fearful of the reaction (don't feel safe to share openly with one another about everything, without being yelled at for how you feel.) This is on both of us.

 

Again, what are you fighting about?

 

I have been neglected sexually and emotionally for a long time, and it isn't for lack of trying to figure it out. We have talked and tried and did all the things couples should do when they want to spice up their sex life, and we have gone to counsellors to try and help fix the problems in our relationship. It isn't working.

 

How have you been neglected? What has happened to make you feel this way? Now here you said you two have tried things and even gone to counselling, but before you said no help was being obtain, which is it?

 

I miss touching him and just being wrapped up in him. I miss the way he smells. I miss a lot of things about him and feel sad its over, even though I know its right. It hurts. I sincerely don't know what the hell my heart feels. I miss him and really don't at the same time.

 

Is this a normal feeling? We are 29 and 32, and about a month from our split. The last few months have been really rocky and we had talked of splitting up a lot before I actually left. I made sure I had a place set up, and let him know what my plans were after I made them. We have been together for 10 years, and been through everything but infidelity. Im exhausted.

 

Can't say because I don't really know what is happening.

 

I'm not trying to be mean here, but without actual information, we can't really help you. From your posts the only thing I can figure out is that:

 

1) you separated

2) you were having issues that appear to be of sexual nature

3) you miss him

 

But that doesn't really give us much to help you on. What were the specific problems? Was it mis-matched sex drives? Did someone want to "experiment" while the other didn't? Was there a porn issue? A sudden unexpected change of life? The possible issues are endless.

 

It almost feels like you are either just talking to yourself as you type, or are afraid to say anything explict on here. If it is fear, you don't need to have it, that is the beauty of a forum like this. You can express yourself and tell your true story, and no one will know who you are, well as long as you don't use real names and locations, but that is a given.

 

I could just tell you everything will be okay and you are better off, but that's not going to help you. What if you were in the wrong? What if it was a misunderstanding? What if there is a solution that someone knows from personal experience? By knowing actual information, you can get help in this. Otherwise all we here is "I'm sad, I'm alone, it didn't work out..." but we don't know anything.

 

In either case, regardless of what happens as the one thing that is clear is that you are hurting, do whatever you can to take care of yourself by surrounding yourself with things that make you happy. Be it some friends, or popping in a chessy romantic comedy while eating your favorite take-out food.

[2sure]

Thank you for this. It brought tears to my eyes. I know I am done. I have tried. I have loved him dearly and still do but love just aint enough all the time. I will always love him, but I don't care to spend my life with him anymore. I want us both to be happy. I miss being happy. I wish it were with him, but its not.

 

I had to divorce my husband. He was a serial cheater. He loved me, we were very happy together. But he wouldn't or couldn't stop his behavior. So, I had to leave. He didn't want the divorce. I didn't want the divorce. But I had to move forward . Into nothing really. I had no dreams or plans that did not include him.

 

I had to go, and it broke my heart. The right thing to do, is usually the hardest.