Will I ever love another w/o thinking of him?

[beyondcrushed]

It took me two years to get over her. When I met my current girlfriend I was still kind of bitter. But the more I got to know her, the more I trusted her and believed in her, the more I let everything go. I really believed that my ex was the person I would spend my life with. No one could measure up to her. She was my first love. I have always believed in 'true love'; the one that is actually meant to be.

 

I did bring a couple of scars with me. Sometimes I'm still afraid that she will leave me as well. Sometimes I have trust issues and that's not fair to her. I feel how much she cares about me. It may or may not change in time like it did with my ex. But now I know that I will get over it when it does happen. You meet a lot of people in life. Sometimes it’s hard to see people go when you don’t want them to go. But you need to hold on to the good times, the fun moments you shared together.

 

I believe that my current girlfriend is wonderful. I'm more in love with her than I was with my ex. But like I said, it's very hard for me to imagine what I felt for her. She feels like a stranger to me, a dream I once had. If I think about love, those wonderful feelings that come with it, all I can think of is my girlfriend. If I think about a kiss, I feel her lips. If I think about a hug, I feel and smell her. I probably have felt this way about my ex as well, but I can’t remember. This feels different and better, but in a way it’s probably exactly the same. She means everything to me.

 

Like you said, it’s almost impossible to imagine what it’s like. But you’ll have to experience it yourself. I believe that you can and will love someone else when the time is right. It just happens. But the next guy isn’t important right now. You are. Don’t date for a while. Focus on yourself and what you need. Give yourself time to heal. It can be a tough ride. Go buy something you always wanted to buy. Don’t drink or overeat.

 

I can tell you are awesome, so be awesome.

 

Thanks again Thierro. I know I will forget one day. It seems unimaginable. But I know it will happen. That is true what you say about not remembering how you felt with your ex. I am dating right now and it's only been two months post breakup. I have friends telling me to date, get out there, get your mind off your ex, but then other friends say don't date and just take the time for you, to recover and rediscover yourself. I don't know. I tried being alone, and it's hard. So I date, and I feel good for a bit, then bad cause I think of my ex. I know you say take time off of dating. I don't know what's better. I think just focusing on me. Did you do that for those 2 years afterward? And you felt way better when you were starting to date?

Edited November 18, 2013 by beyondcrushed

[ByMyself01]

Thanks again Thierro. I know I will forget one day. It seems unimaginable. But I know it will happen. That is true what you say about not remembering how you felt with your ex. I am dating right now and it's only been two months post breakup. I have friends telling me to date, get out there, get your mind off your ex, but then other friends say don't date and just take the time for you, to recover and rediscover yourself. I don't know. I tried being alone, and it's hard. So I date, and I feel good for a bit, then bad cause I think of my ex. I know you say take time off of dating. I don't know what's better. I think just focusing on me. Did you do that for those 2 years afterward? And you felt way better when you were starting to date?

 

I know about the highs and lows of trying to get over someone. Sometimes, I feel okay and then the thoughts of him cause me to breakdown and cry. I don't ever want to feel this type of way ever again in my life. I can actually feel the pain in my heart and it makes it worse.

[beyondcrushed]

I know about the highs and lows of trying to get over someone. Sometimes, I feel okay and then the thoughts of him cause me to breakdown and cry. I don't ever want to feel this type of way ever again in my life. I can actually feel the pain in my heart and it makes it worse.

 

Why does it have to be so hard? It's a better day today. I think because I am thinking of all the ways he was a Jerk to me. I think my theme song should be, "wake me up"...when it's all over". It certainly is a process, but not fun at all!

[Mario79]

I feel your pain, so much, just reading it gives me anxiety. I heard somewhere "No person who arrives will stay forever...they arrive, and at some point will leave" and that "Whoever is not ready for solitude is not ready for company". For us that feel such a void with these people gone, we have to see that more than likely we were going to hit this wall at some point. I have been through some break ups, but have never felt the way I have after this.

 

It is more than a process, its a lesson, I have to believe if I dont learn it, in the future I may find myself in the same spot again.

 

Hugs to you.

[beyondcrushed]

I feel your pain, so much, just reading it gives me anxiety. I heard somewhere "No person who arrives will stay forever...they arrive, and at some point will leave" and that "Whoever is not ready for solitude is not ready for company". For us that feel such a void with these people gone, we have to see that more than likely we were going to hit this wall at some point. I have been through some break ups, but have never felt the way I have after this.

 

It is more than a process, its a lesson, I have to believe if I dont learn it, in the future I may find myself in the same spot again.

 

Hugs to you.

 

Hugs to you too. Wow, I like that -- if you are not ready for solitude you are not ready for company. And yes, people aren't in our lives forever nor are we in theirs for whatever reason. And it's so true about being able to handle it when they're gone. But somehow I think even a strong person, happy in solitude, content with themselves will still grieve tremendously when their loved one is gone. Maybe they just recover or move on quicker.