Internet Love does work

[Jane]

I disagree with previous posts implying internet love is "impossible" etc and those that feel that way are not right in the head.

 

I have witnessed MANY internet love success stories.

 

I do feel this is what will increase in the future - it is happening all the time.

 

Chatting over the net - is a great way to meet first. The real life meeting is so comfortable once people chat for a while. It is possible to find someone suitable as many have profiles of themselves and you find someone with common interests.

 

I fell in love over the net - gorgeous feeling - I am a mental health professional and a good one too. The labels cited in the anti-internet posts are absolute crap.

 

Yes there are unsuccessful outcomes too - but that is universal, not specific to the net relationships.

 

I will do it again if necessary.

[Tony T]

Congratulations on your success finding love on the Internet. Sorry you didn't give more details...but, of course, those are your business.

 

I don't recall anyone in the forum ever saying Internet relationships are "impossible." Your post proves they aren't. Lots of people have gotten married as a result of meeting on the Internet...and many more friendships and romantic relationships have had their beginnings on the net.

 

I personally have formed some great friendships with wonderful people right here at LoveShack.

 

We do get a lot of posts describing online nightmare situations that people have gotten themselves into. Many of them are from younger people who don't watch for the danger signs. There are lots of Internet nightmares, and just like in real life, we have to be cautious. I really don't know what the ration of nightmares to successes are. I hope there are many more positive experiences.

 

I will say that longterm Internet romances are nearly impossible. If you don't meet the person within a reasonable amount of time and aren't able to continue the relationship on a person to person level, it can be extremely difficult to nurture any kind of meaningful situation.

 

Every person decides what falling in love is for him/herself. I don't think I could fall in love over the net. Unless I met someone in person and carried on a relationship where all the facets, including the all important chemistry, could be experienced in a realistic way, it couldn't happen for me. I think that many people who fall in love over the net simply fall in love with the chemicals that swish around in their mind while their imagination runs rampant about the person on the other computer.

 

That's why I so sorry you didn't give more details. Have you met this person in person? You said you fell in love over the net. Did you actually fall in love while talking to the person through Email or Instant Messages or did it happen after you met personally?

 

I am really happy for you and you are living proof that it can and does happen. I also know a lot of people who have met people on the Internet and have had great experiences with it. I am certainly one of them.

 

Like everything else, sometimes love can be pretty "impossible" ON OR OFF the net.

 

I wish you lasting happiness with your new love. Many thanks for sharing your joy with us.

[Taressa]

You're right Jane.

 

I met my love right here on the shack. We've been talking by phone since August and he spent the Christmas holidays with me. He's the greatest man, most wonderful friend, and the most considerate love... I'm really a most fortunate woman to have landed in such kind arms.

[Laurynn]

I don't recall anyone here saying it's "impossible" to find love over the Internet.....but you gotta admit, the likelihood of finding a Good, Honest, True person through this medium is risky?

 

I don't believe it's at all possible (or realistic) to think you can 'fall in love' with someone you've never met in person and spent considerable 'quality time with'......So many people meet someone in a chat room and within a few days they claim to have fallen in love. That's bizarre! You can't truly love someone until/unless you really know them......and knowing them, in my opinion, requires meeting them face to face......

 

Anyone can tell you anything online. They can lie about their personality, their age, their gender, their marital status, their criminal background, their employment status, etc etc.

 

While the Internet does have its definite good points, I think that for every "good relationship" that arose from two people meeting online (then meeting in person)...there are 50 horror stories.....or stories of people being lied to, manipulated, conned, etc.

 

If you don't believe me, or if you're curious...go to this great site:

 

http://www.wildxangel.com/

 

The woman who owns this site gives sage advice on being *careful* when getting involved with someone online.....advice on how to be safe when meeting someone IRL (in real life) for the first time....all the "warning signs" for someone who is not being truthful.....as well, countless numbers of people have written in and shared their personal stories of having been hoodwinked, betrayed, conned.

 

The person you're in love with now.....how long had you known them 'online' before you fell in love? How long after meeting them for the first time in person did you begin falling in love? How do you know you know everything about them? Did you have a background check done on them? Do they live in another state? How do you know they really are who they say they are? Just curious.

 

Laurynn

[Rogue]

Well, I'll be the voice of dissension if I must be. I truly feel that the internet has warped many people's sense of reality, even 'love' as well.

 

What are my reasons for my views? I admit I'm not a health care professional. I'm just a guy who has four friends going through divorces/marital breakups because of internet 'love affairs'. Yup, count'em , four of my friends with lost marriages! Most of the victims were completely taken by surprise that their spouse was having an internet affair on them.Three of them didn't know until their wives left/kicked them out, and the fourth had the pleasure of going through a year's worth of fighting before his wife left him for some guy in England. Some of these marriages had kids by the way, and they were abandoned too!

 

Now what does this have to do with 'love'? Why would a married woman/man go looking about in chat rooms instead of communicating with a spouse? Because the internet allows us to hide our identities that's why! We can say things we can't normally say, we can show a side of ourselves we can't normally show. Is that a bad thing? It can be.

 

We as human beings need to communicate our feelings, but we also need to be in relationships. That means, we need to find a way to open up in our relationships, and that has to be done in person. We have to overcome some of our fears and hang ups and really open up to someone. The internet makes that a lot easier....but married people in everyday lives don't use the internet to connect with each other. Opening up online is fine...but you've got to learn to do it in person, on a regular basis, to make a relationship work. What happens in a relationship that gets established after a few years, but both people in the relationship really only learned to communicate with each other online?

 

Many people use the internet to overcome their inability to communicate with the world, but what do they do in a relationship where they have to communicate without typing? If they never learned to do that, they're in trouble.

 

The bottom line is that the internet MAY help you find someone compatible, but it's the day to day battles you fight in real life together that will truly test the value of a relationship.Sucess in real life is what counts, online sucess, no matter how powerful the connection just isn't good enough.And anybody who can be sucessful in real life relationships doesn't really need the internet to meet anybody, anyways.

 

How long will the intial 'comfort' feeling last in everyday life? Many bad marriages can last for years, so can some of these internet 'sucess' stories, until they are truly tested.The internet, as a mass communication medium , only blossomed in the general public about 4 or five years ago...not enough to tell how it truly affects us in the long run.

 

Anyways, that's my view on the subject.Take it or leave it.

[Laurynn]

Well, I'll be the voice of dissension if I must be. I truly feel that the internet has warped many people's sense of reality, even 'love' as well. What are my reasons for my views? I admit I'm not a health care professional. I'm just a guy who has four friends going through divorces/marital breakups because of internet 'love affairs'. Yup, count'em , four of my friends with lost marriages! Most of the victims were completely taken by surprise that their spouse was having an internet affair on them.Three of them didn't know until their wives left/kicked them out, and the fourth had the pleasure of going through a year's worth of fighting before his wife left him for some guy in England. Some of these marriages had kids by the way, and they were abandoned too! Now what does this have to do with 'love'? Why would a married woman/man go looking about in chat rooms instead of communicating with a spouse? Because the internet allows us to hide our identities that's why! We can say things we can't normally say, we can show a side of ourselves we can't normally show. Is that a bad thing? It can be. We as human beings need to communicate our feelings, but we also need to be in relationships. That means, we need to find a way to open up in our relationships, and that has to be done in person. We have to overcome some of our fears and hang ups and really open up to someone. The internet makes that a lot easier....but married people in everyday lives don't use the internet to connect with each other. Opening up online is fine...but you've got to learn to do it in person, on a regular basis, to make a relationship work. What happens in a relationship that gets established after a few years, but both people in the relationship really only learned to communicate with each other online? Many people use the internet to overcome their inability to communicate with the world, but what do they do in a relationship where they have to communicate without typing? If they never learned to do that, they're in trouble. The bottom line is that the internet MAY help you find someone compatible, but it's the day to day battles you fight in real life together that will truly test the value of a relationship.Sucess in real life is what counts, online sucess, no matter how powerful the connection just isn't good enough.And anybody who can be sucessful in real life relationships doesn't really need the internet to meet anybody, anyways. How long will the intial 'comfort' feeling last in everyday life? Many bad marriages can last for years, so can some of these internet 'sucess' stories, until they are truly tested.The internet, as a mass communication medium , only blossomed in the general public about 4 or five years ago...not enough to tell how it truly affects us in the long run. Anyways, that's my view on the subject.Take it or leave it.