Author Mr.NoDaysOff Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 OP, reading your opening post, two things came to mind. 1. Your wife is smart. In one fell swoop, she betrayed your marriage and queered up your closest male friendship. In reality, your best friend could be a total dick, but she facilitated dickinsider. Women are expert at this kind of social manipulation. Kudos to her. 2. When women break an elemental trust in this way and, by that, I mean with your best friend, IMO they're done with you. Good luck. So you're siding with my wife??? nice..nice Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr.NoDaysOff Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 Exactly right. Only can add that my wife did as yours did, but only coughed up sickening details by me bluffing that I already knew. I was shocked to find out that she cheated for almost nine years! Heard this after another six had passed by. It took me another four of false recovery to finally divorce her. What a waste of basically 20 years! Hope you get out of your marriage a lot sooner than I did. I will bro I will and sorry for you situation..NINE YEARS?? ouch!! Link to post Share on other sites
OJ loved Nicole Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 For five or six years they had an affair (even in my own bed and my son's bed). A 1 time slip up with an immediate confession coupled with disgust in ones self, true guilt...... maybe work it out 6 YEARS of deviousness!!!!!...... hell to the NO! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr.NoDaysOff Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 Has she stopped the affair? Has she been tested for stds? Have you been tested for stds? Is your son your son? Has she stopped seeing your "friend"? Have her give you a written timeline of the affair. Is she staying with your "friend" right now? Did she tell you so that she could get out of the marriage and be with your "friend"? Sorry you are having this experience. I am glad that you have decided to divorce her. I would get the std information and the affair information. She ripped your heart out and threw it in the fire. What information has she given you and why did she give it to you? Where is your son? As far as I know she hasn't spoken to him again and yes he is my son THANK GOD. She said it started about two or three years after we got married she is staying with her sister and her husband right now as far as I know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr.NoDaysOff Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 I believe you haven't mentioned what your wife said, when she confessed? Does she want to be with you still or was it an "easy" way out for her when she told you? She always had a "thing" for African American men but after she met me she started liking me and so she just "let it go" after getting into a relationship with me. But she admitted that she began to become attracted to my friend who is African American BTW. He was always athletically built, fit and attractive as far as she was concerned. So she pretty much started to remember what she always liked "from the beginning" and overtime gradually fell into temptation which unfortunately did not stop after a few "encounters" but continued it for a long time. She stopped talking to him and is now out on her own. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr.NoDaysOff Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 Unfortunatly, she could be lying so you don't question parantage. I am all for the truth of who the father is BUT if you believe he is your son, love him and have a bon with him, and fear him not sharing your dna will impact you to the extent of not still loving him... Then really consider the testing. Innocent little humans are more important than money or sticking it to the real culprit. He is definitley my son he is blond like me and my "wife my "friend" was African American so no question there. Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I don't want to sound cold but why is she even still in the house with you. How in the world can you even think straight of get a chance of trying to grasp this kind of a betrayal with her there everyday clouding your mind. I think you at least need to give yourself some time to think. I would be so freaked out and the other guy nine years. OMG.... My situation pales in comparison to yours and the other guys. I am truly sorry you are going through this. Sick to my stomach just thinking about the pain you must be feeling right now. Clay Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 There's nothing to work out - it's over! Your wife ruined any possibility of a good marriage by her lying and cheating. And doing it in your bed shows how malicious and angry she really feels about you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I'm 31 years old and no I never suspected anything between them When all three of us were together they never really talked to each other that much. Nah I was never the travelling type just a go to work and come home type person. My son is four years old this year You need to work on being more aware! I'm certain there were signs - you missed them. Learn how to pay better attention to what's happening around you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Sorry Dude, but you've been married for 8 years and she's been cheating on you for more than half the time you've been married. You never really had a marriage. The kicker is, you weren't even aware of it. Sorry, dude but she has been cake eating you for years! She had the taboo sexual relationship with your friend. A piece on the side. And the safety and security of the husband and home. The first thing I would do is throw out that bed and get a new one immediately. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Yesterday Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 He is definitley my son he is blond like me and my "wife my "friend" was African American so no question there. Your wife says it had only been physical for the past 2-3 years, I doubt they simply held hands the initial couple of years. That being said it could be true since she took your son to full term without any disclosure to you prior to delivery? So, are you still in contact with your wife? Are you sharing your sons time with her, or is he staying only with you? Have you seen a lawyer or started to protect yourself financially? Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I'm 31 years old and no I never suspected anything between them When all three of us were together they never really talked to each other that much. Nah I was never the travelling type just a go to work and come home type person. My son is four years old this year Don't feel bad. Mine was 8 years (5 year married) and I didn't suspect my STBXW was cheating on me on and off for probably half that time. It's what happens when you give the love of your life unconditional trust. I don't feel like I regret giving away that trust to the woman I married. In reality, that's the way it should be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr.NoDaysOff Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 I don't want to sound cold but why is she even still in the house with you. How in the world can you even think straight of get a chance of trying to grasp this kind of a betrayal with her there everyday clouding your mind. I think you at least need to give yourself some time to think. I would be so freaked out and the other guy nine years. OMG.... My situation pales in comparison to yours and the other guys. I am truly sorry you are going through this. Sick to my stomach just thinking about the pain you must be feeling right now. Clay She is staying with her sister at the moment...who also couldn't believe what my wife did. Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I am glad to hear that. I would seriously just move on. You are young and man you deserve so much better. For someone to do it as long as she did there was no serious love for you. Now the only real reason she is staying and trying to fix it is to save face. There are much better women out there. Clay 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr.NoDaysOff Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 Yeah true Life sucks sometimes 2 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 So are you done with her? Who is watching your child? Did she ever tell you she was sorry? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I assume that you have informed her that you are divorcing her. What was her reaction? What made your wife think that after confessing to you that you would still wish to remain married to her? She really is out of her mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 What is to "work out?" Your W purposely cheated on you! What's to work out about that? Divorce her - and allow her to go do any and every other man she chooses - but not while she pretends to be your wife anymore! Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I can't imagine how are this is for you but I can tell you some people you just can't help and you just can't fix. No matter how much you want to be with her she is only going to do you and your child more harm than good. Does it suck to hear that I am sure it does but at least you are no longer a fool. The truth is out and you have a chance to set things right by your child. Your child is the only thing that matters now. She is never going to be a good mom to that child. Any one that can do that will only drown in there own failures and take other good people down with them. Man if you need help I am at the point I would send you money for the lawyer to pay for the divorce. Clay Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Man if you need help I am at the point I would send you money for the lawyer to pay for the divorce. Clay Brother, if you can spare a dime, I'll take whatever I can get to pay the bills I've got coming. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr.NoDaysOff Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 I can't imagine how are this is for you but I can tell you some people you just can't help and you just can't fix. No matter how much you want to be with her she is only going to do you and your child more harm than good. Does it suck to hear that I am sure it does but at least you are no longer a fool. The truth is out and you have a chance to set things right by your child. Your child is the only thing that matters now. She is never going to be a good mom to that child. Any one that can do that will only drown in there own failures and take other good people down with them. Man if you need help I am at the point I would send you money for the lawyer to pay for the divorce. Clay Thanks brother but Imma have to suck this up and be a man and take care of it myself..I love you for the support EVERYONE ON HERE HAS BEEN AWESOME I'll have to wait till monday to start the process. Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I hope things go well for you. Go do some fun things with your kid this weekend. That is what I did. I spoiled my ROTTEN to the core. They loved it and it sure made my heart feel alot better. Clay Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 (edited) As far as I know she hasn't spoken to him again and yes he is my son THANK GOD. She said it started about two or three years after we got married she is staying with her sister and her husband right now as far as I know. Sorry to say I have seen to many WW's lie. You need to have a paternity test done. If anything to make your WW realize how much she has shattered your trust in her. Also for the peace of mind that paternity doubts will be put to rest then you triggering with doubts about this issue. What have you and your WW done to recover the marriage since D day? Would not be the first mixed race child that had a AF dad and the kid had blond hair. Edited November 1, 2013 by road 3 Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 Your doing the right thing by divorcing her. If she keeps calling, don't answer. She made her choice and now she has to live with the consequences. Move her stuff out of the house to a storage locker and hand her the key to it. Tell her not to call or show up at the house. By the way, who has your child? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 I'm not really sure why it ended she never went into detail of what happened and I dont know what prompted her to tell me as well That suprised me alot It probably ended because the OM didn't want her anymore. If he wanted her he is a single man and could have offered her to be with him but he didn't. He was just screwing her as a side piece and she was more than happy to submit. I think you should run not walk away from her as fast as you can. You shouldn't even talk to her anymore but get someone to handle picking your son up for visitation and being there to give him to her when she comes. She's disgusting. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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