jellycat8487 Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 I've been seeing this guy for a few months and recently he got to go to Jamaica for a business trip. He asked me to go about a month ago but I didn't want to spend the money for a 4 day trip. After he got back, I was going through his ex's instagram (I know, I'm a stalker) and she posted a picture of the same resort he was at. I called him out on it and he did bring her. He says he has no feelings for her and she still does although she realizes he's moved on. Apparently he invited her before me (before I even knew him) and if I was able to go he wouldn't bring her too. He said he didn't cheat and she stayed on the couch in his hotel room. I'm mostly mad that he didn't want me to find out or bother to tell me. Should I believe that he didn't cheat on me? He's a super honest and nice guy but I don't get why he'd bring an ex if they're 'just friends' Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 1. He asked you, but you didn't want to go. Not your fault, just the fact. 2. He had already planned this trip it sounds and had another ticket and didn't want to waste it. Not an excuse, but this is very possible. 3. Still has feelings for his ex. 4. Didn't want you to find out b/c it would upset you and/or b/c he's cheating on you or used this opportunity to cheat on you 5. He really did sleep on the couch and she is "just" a friend, though unlikely 6. He simply shouldn't have brought his ex along Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 I don't believe it. So, She paid her own way???? Jamaica is about partying it up, bikinis on the beach and having fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) I've been seeing this guy for a few months and recently he got to go to Jamaica for a business trip. He asked me to go about a month ago but I didn't want to spend the money for a 4 day trip. After he got back, I was going through his ex's instagram (I know, I'm a stalker) and she posted a picture of the same resort he was at. I called him out on it and he did bring her. He says he has no feelings for her and she still does although she realizes he's moved on. Apparently he invited her before me (before I even knew him) and if I was able to go he wouldn't bring her too. He said he didn't cheat and she stayed on the couch in his hotel room. I'm mostly mad that he didn't want me to find out or bother to tell me. Should I believe that he didn't cheat on me? He's a super honest and nice guy but I don't get why he'd bring an ex if they're 'just friends' Young Lady, Please please please do yourself a favor and get rid of him.... He is so full of crap his teeth are floating. People don't bring ex's to Bacteria Frap Resorts in Jamaica to stay on the couch. If you believe him I have some Oceanfront Property in Iowa for sale. Please get an STD test as well...lord knows what else that idiot has dipped his wick into. Edited October 31, 2013 by Space Ritual 9 Link to post Share on other sites
sayyes19 Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 Young Lady, Please please please do yourself a favor and get rid of him.... He is so full of crap his teeth are floating. People don't bring ex's to Bacteria Frap Resorts in Jamaica to stay on the couch. If you believe him I have some Oceanfront Property in Iowa for sale. Please get an STD test as well...lord knows what else that idiot has dipped his wick into. At the very least he is a dishonest fellow. Even if he didn't directly lie to her he didn't tell her this information until after she found out. Then again I'm sure he made her a pallet on the couch to ease his conscience at some point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 I've been seeing this guy for a few months and recently he got to go to Jamaica for a business trip. He asked me to go about a month ago but I didn't want to spend the money for a 4 day trip. After he got back, I was going through his ex's instagram (I know, I'm a stalker) and she posted a picture of the same resort he was at. I called him out on it and he did bring her. He says he has no feelings for her and she still does although she realizes he's moved on. Apparently he invited her before me (before I even knew him) and if I was able to go he wouldn't bring her too. He said he didn't cheat and she stayed on the couch in his hotel room. I'm mostly mad that he didn't want me to find out or bother to tell me. Should I believe that he didn't cheat on me? He's a super honest and nice guy but I don't get why he'd bring an ex if they're 'just friends' LaughOutLoud 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mercuryshadow Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 He's not super honest. This is not a fib, an exaggeration or a white lie. It is an outright damaging LIE. In some instances, I believe second chances are valid, but this guy shows not one ounce of shame or regret; instead, he tried to justify it. There is no justification for this level of dishonesty in a relationship. And to be quite honest, I have a very hard time believing that "nothing happened" between them. I urge you to kick this guy to the curb. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 wow, just wow Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 He's a super honest and nice guy but I don't get why he'd bring an ex if they're 'just friends' Super honest? Apparently not. He just flat out hid information from you that any stupid idiot knows would possibly be a dealbreaker in any relationship. Yes, after a night of sweaty drunken boozing, they both retreated to their rooms. She put on her Hello Kitty pajamas, hopped on the couch and said nighty night and he went into his room, shut the door and thought about you. A super honest and nice guy, has a conscience and therefore will most certainly fill his girlfriend in on what he's planning to do because he wants to be upfront and most importantly, prioritizes her feelings before he does anything. If he hides about this, what else does he hide from you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) Nope, this one's not worth keeping around. OP, men who are in love don't do something so infinitely STUPID as this if their motivations are platonic. This guy is either a low-down lying, stinking cheater, or a moron of epic proportions. Either one is not boyfriend material. Even if he didn't cheat (which frankly is a toss-up and I don't think he deserves the benefit of the doubt here), here is an extensive list of things he did wrong, any of which are dealbreakers. 1) He told you this was a trip for "business" when it clearly was not. 2) He took another woman on a trip to Jamaica. 3) That other woman was his ex girlfriend! 4) That ex girlfriend who still has feelings for him! 5) So, he led her on (at best), while... 6) Opening the door for something very dangerous to happen between them. 7) And he lied about it to you, consistently and for the duration of the trip. 8) ...demonstrating that his fun-in-the-sun with Ex-GF was more important to him than his relationship with you, or your peace of mind. He had two options: either go on the trip, do his "business" and come home to you, or go with a former romantic interest at the expense of your security and trust. That he chose the second option demonstrates extreme selfishness and his inability to be a real partner in life. Drop him like a hot potato. And then brace yourself for his inevitable return to the ex who he was "not interested in." Sorry if that's harsh, OP... but everything about your situation sounds like he's not only dishonest and selfish, but that he may also be gaslighting you ("I'm a stalker, I know," "he didn't tell me because he didn't want to upset me," and "he's usually super honest..." these all sound like defenses he probably gave you.) Oh an edit to add one to the list: 9) if this were a platonic affair, there would have been two rooms involved. And you would have been asked about it first. Actually, if you'd been asked first, this probably wouldn't have happened. Which is probably why he didn't bother to ask you your feelings. Because for him, your feelings get in the way of his selfish desires. Edited October 31, 2013 by nescafe1982 5 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 I'm surprised this is even posted on here for advice. I mean it's pretty obvious, no? Even if he didn't have sex with her (which I'm am almost certain he did) this is inappropriate on so many levels. He also lied through omission. I'd love to see this guy try to explain this situation to you with a straight face. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 Like another poster on here so eloquently puts it: .... enjoy. Sorry. It's just beyond baffling how you would stay with a guy who doesn't tell you about going on a trip with his ex . It's actually laughable that he thinks you're stupid enough to believe that he got her to sleep on the couch:lmao: Man. The OP is beyond help. She actually thinks he's an honest guy:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 He is NOT honest! He didn't tell you - and wouldn't have told you if you hadn't seen her pics. Don't fool yourself - he lies - and he also wouldn't be taking her on a trip if he didn't plan to bed her! Open your eyes! Get rid of him now! He thinks he can fool you - and he has - but YOU can show him it doesn't work with him because he lies. Link to post Share on other sites
emva07 Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 nope, this one's not worth keeping around. Op, men who are in love don't do something so infinitely stupid as this if their motivations are platonic. This guy is either a low-down lying, stinking cheater, or a moron of epic proportions. Either one is not boyfriend material. Even if he didn't cheat (which frankly is a toss-up and i don't think he deserves the benefit of the doubt here), here is an extensive list of things he did wrong, any of which are dealbreakers. 1) he told you this was a trip for "business" when it clearly was not. 2) he took another woman on a trip to jamaica. 3) that other woman was his ex girlfriend! 4) that ex girlfriend who still has feelings for him! 5) so, he led her on (at best), while... 6) opening the door for something very dangerous to happen between them. 7) and he lied about it to you, consistently and for the duration of the trip. 8) ...demonstrating that his fun-in-the-sun with ex-gf was more important to him than his relationship with you, or your peace of mind. He had two options: Either go on the trip, do his "business" and come home to you, or go with a former romantic interest at the expense of your security and trust. That he chose the second option demonstrates extreme selfishness and his inability to be a real partner in life. Drop him like a hot potato. And then brace yourself for his inevitable return to the ex who he was "not interested in." sorry if that's harsh, op... But everything about your situation sounds like he's not only dishonest and selfish, but that he may also be gaslighting you ("i'm a stalker, i know," "he didn't tell me because he didn't want to upset me," and "he's usually super honest..." these all sound like defenses he probably gave you.) oh an edit to add one to the list: 9) if this were a platonic affair, there would have been two rooms involved. And you would have been asked about it first. Actually, if you'd been asked first, this probably wouldn't have happened. which is probably why he didn't bother to ask you your feelings. Because for him, your feelings get in the way of his selfish desires. super like! Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 Did you break up with him Jelly? Link to post Share on other sites
LivingDeadGrl Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 He is not honest and if you let this go you're just letting him know that it's okay to do things like this. Get rid of him. Link to post Share on other sites
tlegend Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 He was wrong in every way. You don't take your ex to Jamaica unless you plan on ravishing her. Move along OP, move along. Link to post Share on other sites
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