What makes the OW brag about being in a relationship with a MM?

[Furious]

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon

 

And I have never in my life "found" a man. They find me and I make my decisions accordingly.

 

 

After I discovered my husband's affair I went out one evening and within a few hours I had three phone number in my bag when I returned home. Two of the men were married and one was single, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. When I got home I showed him the names and numbers and how easy it is to find an affair partner.

 

For those women who brag about being the other woman I hope you realize there's really nothing to brag about.

[ComingInHot]

Thecharade wrote, "

You cannot insert yourself into someone's marriage. Impossible.

You must be let in. Period."

 

At which point you become "the BS's problem", as other OW's have put it...

[ComingInHot]

OldLady wrote, "So while I'm complaining on the phone, he's busy clicking like on my page, so I'm satisfied."

 

Ya, that sounds like... lots of fun. Quite the depiction of an exciting, "loving", kind, not a scary AP Affair at all.

 

And the John Lennon thing... He was murdered too, right? Shot in his big ole' braggin' head?...

[ladydesigner]

No, I did not realise i was sharing the coat, I was told I was not sharing. Just like BS did not know that her coat was being worn by someone else until I told her. Then even though my lipstick was in the pocket, she still thought I had planted it.

 

That's okay cause guess where that coat went after Dday? Straight to the trash.

[Furious]

No, I did not realise i was sharing the coat, I was told I was not sharing. Just like BS did not know that her coat was being worn by someone else until I told her. Then even though my lipstick was in the pocket, she still thought I had planted it.

 

 

Perhaps it's better to purchase your own coat from now on and I mean that sincerely.

[ladydesigner]

I don't think he is a prize. when BS told me she would keep the marriage at any cost, then I realised he was her prize.

 

Yuck a WS is never a prize.

[Furious]

I don't think he is a prize. when BS told me she would keep the marriage at any cost, then I realised he was her prize.

 

The only thing you can do now is move forward and live your life with integrity.

[PhoenixRise]

I'm a little amazed at all the OW who have dropped into this thread to either cheerlead the OW being described in the OP or to pump themselves up about their own affair.

 

Look

 

Even if this was not an affair situation a person who holds on after the relationship is over endlessly posting pics and comments on social media AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER looks unbalanced and desperate. It doesn't take an affair to make these actions look crazy.

[liloldlady]

After I discovered my husband's affair I went out one evening and within a few hours I had three phone number in my bag when I returned home. Two of the men were married and one was single, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. When I got home I showed him the names and numbers and how easy it is to find an affair partner.

 

Sounds like a rivalry, not a marriage. That is sad.

[liloldlady]

 

And the John Lennon thing... He was murdered too, right? Shot in his big ole' braggin' head?...

 

He didn't deserve that. No one does.

[AlwaysGrowing]

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon

 

And I have never in my life "found" a man. They find me and I make my decisions accordingly.

 

 

Not many would view being hit on by anyone with a penis as any positive character attribute let alone a life skill. Never seen that highlighted on a resume.

 

Integrity, respectful (cashier, mail person, teacher, doctor does not matter, they are working and should be treated respectfully), and kind are just a few that matter to me.

[liloldlady]

Not many would view being hit on by anyone with a penis as any positive character attribute

 

He's not the only one with a P who approaches me, LOL. I just happen to love this particular man attached to the P.

[Furious]

Sounds like a rivalry, not a marriage. That is sad.

 

 

Not at all. I only proved that cheating is not a miracle but a choice.

Edited November 4, 2013 by Furious

[Raena]

I think maybe get around to OP and her topic.

 

No MM MW OW is anyone's prize they are a human beings who made their choices not commodities to be purchased for eternity. So no benefit in bragging about being with them or without them. As I said earlier, and so did the OP, no one here is bragging about being with a MM, in fact it is all very painful.

 

The OP is questioning why her OW was targetting her in some kind of vindictive way. And I was trying to understand why she would do that given that she is divorcing her H. All sounds a bit weird,and I am trying to understand why she is getting this reaction.

 

Yes that is exactly what I'm trying to do... understand why she would behave this way.

 

It makes me wonder if there isn't more to the story than I'm being told. Of course, given the circumstances, this is more than likely true. Ex is after all a liar and a cheat. Not much he says can be believed. But... this OW is behaving in such an erratic vindictive manner that talking to her is out of the question as well. I can't believe anything either one of them says.

 

At the end of the day I have to just sit around and wait to see what happens. I have a feeling this story isn't over yet... there will be more. Or... maybe she'll get tired of her vindictive game and move on. Only time will tell.

 

I don't really like the fact that I do go and look at what she is writing. I wish I could just ignore her but something tells me that I shouldn't. This has been going on for months with her... only since dday has it gotten worse. It's like she now feels free to openly brag about it even though its over... or maybe it isn't... maybe he is stringing her along. It's hard to tell. One minute she posts crap about how much in love she is with him and how they are going to be together and the next she is flaming him or me or both... or even my friends as well.

 

Last night she posted a picture of a wedding ring and said that he bought it for her and that she can't wait for 11 days from now that they are going to be together on that day. He tells me he's never bought her anything, that she was always complaining about what a cheapskate he was with her. (oddly enough, he's never acted that way with me) and that he has no intention of being with her. He hasn't even moved out yet because he hasn't found a suitable place yet (it's not that easy to do around here, not too many apartments) But... within 5 minutes she deleted it and wrote "fine then :(". All of this was done while he and I were sitting in the living room talking about how to handle being parents together and what went wrong with us. From the way she acted, you'd think he told her to delete that stuff but he didn't talk to her. The only reason I know about it is because my best friend, who this OW has also attacked repeatedly, saw it and thought I should know in case this is really what he is planning. She is keeping an eye on what the OW writes because if the girl says one more thing about her, my friend is going to file a police report. She already tried and they told her that she has to tell her to stop and if she persists, then she can file for harassment.

 

This is the craziness my life has become right now. It really is no wonder that I'm having anxiety attacks and sleepless nights.

 

I just wish I could skip forward to a time where he is gone out of the house (and not with her), the psycho OW has stopped with her nonsense and my life is normal again without all this drama.

 

The thought of the two of them together with my son makes me want to vomit. It isn't bad enough that they together destroyed my life but the thought of having to share my son with her as well just kills me.

[ladydesigner]

Yes that is exactly what I'm trying to do... understand why she would behave this way.

 

It makes me wonder if there isn't more to the story than I'm being told. Of course, given the circumstances, this is more than likely true. Ex is after all a liar and a cheat. Not much he says can be believed. But... this OW is behaving in such an erratic vindictive manner that talking to her is out of the question as well. I can't believe anything either one of them says.

 

At the end of the day I have to just sit around and wait to see what happens. I have a feeling this story isn't over yet... there will be more. Or... maybe she'll get tired of her vindictive game and move on. Only time will tell.

 

I don't really like the fact that I do go and look at what she is writing. I wish I could just ignore her but something tells me that I shouldn't. This has been going on for months with her... only since dday has it gotten worse. It's like she now feels free to openly brag about it even though its over... or maybe it isn't... maybe he is stringing her along. It's hard to tell. One minute she posts crap about how much in love she is with him and how they are going to be together and the next she is flaming him or me or both... or even my friends as well.

 

Last night she posted a picture of a wedding ring and said that he bought it for her and that she can't wait for 11 days from now that they are going to be together on that day. He tells me he's never bought her anything, that she was always complaining about what a cheapskate he was with her. (oddly enough, he's never acted that way with me) and that he has no intention of being with her. He hasn't even moved out yet because he hasn't found a suitable place yet (it's not that easy to do around here, not too many apartments) But... within 5 minutes she deleted it and wrote "fine then :(". All of this was done while he and I were sitting in the living room talking about how to handle being parents together and what went wrong with us. From the way she acted, you'd think he told her to delete that stuff but he didn't talk to her. The only reason I know about it is because my best friend, who this OW has also attacked repeatedly, saw it and thought I should know in case this is really what he is planning. She is keeping an eye on what the OW writes because if the girl says one more thing about her, my friend is going to file a police report. She already tried and they told her that she has to tell her to stop and if she persists, then she can file for harassment.

 

This is the craziness my life has become right now. It really is no wonder that I'm having anxiety attacks and sleepless nights.

 

I just wish I could skip forward to a time where he is gone out of the house (and not with her), the psycho OW has stopped with her nonsense and my life is normal again without all this drama.

 

The thought of the two of them together with my son makes me want to vomit. It isn't bad enough that they together destroyed my life but the thought of having to share my son with her as well just kills me.

 

(((Raena))) I'm sorry. And the bolded was my biggest fear too during my WH's A.

 

The MOW in our case was vindictive to me too. I was in False R with WH. She still was vindictive up until a point where I pretty much told her, "hey I am trying to heal myself from this mess that I am in and I wish you well in life." She apologized to me and even told me if WH and I still have a connection that we should save it. I know who the real enemy in this mess is and that is my WH. He is the one who put both myself and MOW through emotional turmoil. MOW did know partially what she was getting into, but it couldn't of happened without my WH's consent. What a mess!

[Robert]

*****Moderators Note******

 

let's keep the off topic insults and fighting from all sides off this thread

[Steadfast]

This is the craziness my life has become right now. It really is no wonder that I'm having anxiety attacks and sleepless nights.

 

I just wish I could skip forward to a time where he is gone out of the house (and not with her), the psycho OW has stopped with her nonsense and my life is normal again without all this drama.

 

The thought of the two of them together with my son makes me want to vomit. It isn't bad enough that they together destroyed my life but the thought of having to share my son with her as well just kills me.

 

You might have to share time, but you won't ever share your son. He will always be your son and you will always be his mother. No power on heaven or earth can change that. He will be your son even when he uses his father and (whomever) as leverage against you. Kids do this, whether they're from broken homes or not. You'll keep loving him...even more.

 

Get him out of the house. You can't heal if he's there. Keep your eye on this bozo, but work on the control her actions have on you. Move this forward. There are no shortcuts, but better times will come. Earn them.

[Raena]

You might have to share time, but you won't ever share your son. He will always be your son and you will always be his mother. No power on heaven or earth can change that. He will be your son even when he uses his father and (whomever) as leverage against you. Kids do this, whether they're from broken homes or not. You'll keep loving him...even more.

 

Get him out of the house. You can't heal if he's there. Keep your eye on this bozo, but work on the control her actions have on you. Move this forward. There are no shortcuts, but better times will come. Earn them.

 

Thank you. That is exactly what I needed to hear.

[Stellar Wench]

They were probably much more intimate than your cheating SO told you, the OW in your case felt loved enough by your WS to stalk him for 2 years. Your story sounds like a trickle truth WS sob story. Ever hear the OW's side of the relationship? Crap like this infuriates the OW, the downplaying is as obvious as a football stadium light, but some BS's (not saying you in particular YM) are Afraid to know the actual magnitude of the affair relationship. If the BS knew half the crap some of the MM do with, say to, share with the OW, they'd be 10x as pissed as a scorned OW.

Why must OW always believe it is more than it is? It's an affair. Period. Until the AP are together legitimately, it is just an affair. The WS may tell the AP she hung the moon and is the answer to world peace, but it's still just an affair until the Marriage ends. Actions speak louder than words. Not a hard concept.

[ComingInHot]

I hear it ALL from both WS AND exOW. I believe the exOW in my H's A was angry w/me well, I guess for a-lot of reasons, one being I had the Truth but that didn't give her the right to play any bigger of a role in My life. That infuriated her. Having more "details" than I Ever wanted didn't make her More of an issue to me. It just didn't. But that's just me.*

 

She did boadt of how awesome she & my H thought she was at the time but she Never "went public" w/it as she didn't want people to know what she had been doing w/a MM. I can't even begin to imagine what she would've been like had my H actually wanted to be w/her!

 

Yet, I still don't think that would have made her happy either. She needed to be happy w/herself First.

[Artie Lang]

i'm confused..... are you or aren't you gonna reconcile with him.

 

it sounds like he's playing both of you.

[Raena]

i'm confused..... are you or aren't you gonna reconcile with him.

 

it sounds like he's playing both of you.

 

No, I'm not reconciling with him. We are done. He knows it. I know it. There is no fixing this relationship.

 

It has only been a couple of weeks since dday. He hasn't found an apartment yet but I'm sure it will happen soon.

[Raena]

Someone asked to know what it is she is writing. I don't have all of them but this is what she just wrote a few minutes ago:

 

"I want blonde highlights but my sexy says no cuz its white trashy to him."

 

I highlighted my hair a month ago and he expressed his displeasure with it to me saying that it looks trashy when the dark roots grow in.

 

Then she went on to post:

 

"He said I can only be white trash in the bedroom haha. I know that's right. Can't wait to be with him forever"

 

I told him that when I got married, my grandmother's words of wisdom to make my marriage work were to "be a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom"

 

This is the kind of stuff I'm talking about. This time she didn't use my name directly but it is obvious to me what she is talking about. She obviously wants me to know that he shared details of our relationship with her and she is now using it to hurt and humiliate me.

 

So what do you all think? How many want to bet that he is planning to be with her... or that she is just a crazy psycho because he dumped her and hurt her? Pick a side and lets see who is right. The truth will come out soon enough!

[liloldlady]

 

So what do you all think? How many want to bet that he is planning to be with her...

 

Sounds like he's with her, but her karma will backfire because bragging is never OK. Be humble, love the man, and leave the past behind.

[Steadfast]

So what do you all think?

 

She's playing you like a violin...even if, by some chance she's not trying to.

 

Sorry to say you've wrapped yourself in mega-drama. And while most BS's don't have their marriage details posted online (or don't know about it) every betrayed spouse knows they were a topic of conversation.

 

It's humiliating.

 

Let this go. It's killing what's left of your self esteem.