JLG Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 I have a girlfriend who is very jealous of me and my relationship with my boyfriend. She is going through a divorce an ugly one I might add. Her ex has dragged everyone down in it. She was introduced to a man friend of my boyfriend and they hit it off. The problem is that everything has to be a competition with her....She thinks she has the better job, the better boyfriend, the better child....and so on. Did I mention that I live with her. We have been friends for about two years as of lately my boyfriend informed me that she flashed her breast at him one night when we were all hanging out. I have not said anything to her about this. My boyfriend would like to not start a rift between all of us and mostly his friend of 8 years.....How do I tell her that I really don't think we should be friends anymore........ Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 With everything she is going through now she probably needs to feel that she has something positive in her life. Try not to let it get to you. If she starts on a rant about her better job, etc. Tell her that you are happy for her, but that her bragging is beginning to hurt your feelings and that you know she doesn't want to do that. Show her some concern and compassion and be discreet with your own happiness. People in emotional pain sometimes see other people's happiness as a slap at them because they are hurting so much. They also sometimes want to share their misery with others because on some level it helps them feel more balanced, less alone. Talk with her about her behavior, but do it in a supportive way so that she doesn't think you are ragging on her and are trying to help her because you care about her feelings. Maybe she needs a little extra care right now, especially during the holidays. Link to post Share on other sites
gridiron Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 She sounds immature, insecure, or both. I would probably hint that you are looking at other places to live or ask if she would ever want to look for another place to live. She will then ask you why, and then you can tell her that living together can make friends dislike each other quickly (which is sometimes true), so you place the blame on the situation instead of her. Then tell her what she says and does that bother you, without personally attacking her. Just bring up examples. Explain that true friends should support each other and not make the other one feel inferior. Tell her you are happy with good things that happen in her life, and she should feel the same way for you. Friends are supposed to be happy to be around each other. If she listens to what you have to say and calmly tells you what about you she finds unsupportive, listen to her without interjecting. If there is a legitimate reason why she thinks she acts the way she does, and she is willing to change (or if you realize something you do really bothers her, and you are willing to change) give it some time and see if you can build your friendship. If she can not listen to you and starts attacking you instead, then you will both know how each other feels and can then move on. Oh, and I would hold back mentioning her flashing your bf at first and save it as a trump card, if the starts denying doing anything wrong or crossing the line. It may not be a bad idea to wait until after Christmas though to bring this up, so it does not ruin anyone's holidays. Link to post Share on other sites
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