theothersully Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 (edited) I have a close friend who is going through hell with her parents right now. She is 22. She left herself logged in on a family iPad by mistake. Her parents decided to read everything they could find in her accounts, going back 6 months. They were not pleased with the findings (and some of the findings involved me! ha ha ha). Now her Dad, who I have never met or spoken to, wants to call me to have a chat and give me a hard time. I refused. (keep in mind i am closer to her dad's age than her age, so the dad is an equal, not somebody to listen to or take orders from) To me, these parents invaded the privacy of their adult daughter, causing all these problems themselves. So... is it ok to snoop into people's private messages, or is it wrong? Should they have done it? Edited November 2, 2013 by theothersully Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 It's not ethical. If the daughter was a minor my stance would be softer on the subject because although I think parents should respect kids' privacy, I think parents have a greater duty to protect children. I do think you & your GF should talk to her parents. I'm not saying cowtow to them but have a mature conversation so you can assuage her parents' fears based on your age difference. Link to post Share on other sites
Author theothersully Posted November 2, 2013 Author Share Posted November 2, 2013 It's not ethical. If the daughter was a minor my stance would be softer on the subject because although I think parents should respect kids' privacy, I think parents have a greater duty to protect children. I do think you & your GF should talk to her parents. I'm not saying cowtow to them but have a mature conversation so you can assuage her parents' fears based on your age difference. She isn't my girlfriend. Just a close, platonic friend. I don't have an attraction to her that way, but if you could be with someone based on personality alone.... she'd be the one. I'm just curious what people thought about rummaging through private communications, then putting up a sink about what you find. I thought it wasn't right, but was curious what others thought. Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 I don't think her parents should have done that. That's messed up. That they a) snooped, b) decided they wanted to talk with you, and c) told her about it communicates that they have serious boundary issues. That your friend told you about this communicates that she has a hard time asserting boundaries with her parents as well. Do not talk with the parents. Your friend is a grown woman, and you don't answer to them. Your friend must find a way to assert her own boundaries with her parents... but beyond that, none of the rest of this scenario is really your "business." I don't mean that to sound harsh; rather, I mean that it's not your place to get involved between a 22 year old woman and her parents. You can support her in however she decides to handle this scenario, but honestly because of your indirect involvement, I would avoid being any more than a passive source of support her. You don't want to push your perspective to make it "you v. the parents," after all. As for putting up a stink about items found while snooping: I once had a family member who threw a hissy fit after she found (and read) my diary. On the first page, I'd complained about how this particular family member "lacks boundary control" and how it drove me up the wall. I'm guessing she didn't like reading that too much. But you know? That was her problem. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 What the hell did you do for her father to want to talk to you? Seems really odd considering her age. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts