cryeverytim Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 (edited) Hey! So when I was about 16 I went to a boy/girls boarding school. I met a boy and we fell in love after being really close friends.We were together for about 4 months. Our relationship was fairly complicated, because he was overwhelmingly affectionate when we were alone together, but when we were out and about he would practically ignore me. He had been friendless throughout his earlier schools and had hit a social jackpot at our school, and didn't want to jeopardise it by hanging around with his girlfriend all the time. I was going through a pretty rough depression at the time for unrelated reasons, so I didn't take well to his cold public persona, and I ended up breaking up several times. We always came back together, until he had enough and decided to cut off contact with me for good. The last time we actually spent time together was the night I broke up with him, where we had sex and cried and he told be he loved me and always wanted to be in my life so on so forth. It's been two years now, and I see him maybe 7-8 times a year because we have mutual friends. Every-time I see him I fall in love, and I am so bitter that my depression stole the one guy I really, truly, love. He is always happy to see me, but whenever we start to really enjoy our conversations, he escapes by saying he has to go home and study or has to meet up with a friend. We have an eerily similar sense of humor and so much chemistry, and when we were together and I wasn't in a horrible bitchy depressed mood we would have so much fun talking about movies, music so on. Anyways, I don't think there is any hope for us at all, because he has decided to cut me out/has no feelings for me anymore. I just want to find a way to accept what I've lost, and see romantic value in other men. It makes me sad that I have lost him as a ''lover'', but I miss him even more as a friend. Edited November 2, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 I think this is the point at which one might suggest getting some professional help. Such a difficulty with letting go for such a long time, and an inability to really bond with anyone else? Definitely post here and learn, and go NC to the best of your ability, but I think seeking some therapy would be wise. If you've gone through a lot, I think it is likely that somehow you set it up in your mind that he was going to "save you" from all of your issues and problems. And it could be, that it is the "being saved from" that is the problem and not him, so much. But one way, if this rings true for you, to begin to lessen the "him" aspect, would be to tackle your problems and issues head on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cryeverytim Posted November 2, 2013 Author Share Posted November 2, 2013 Is this really that uncommon? Now I feel kind of freaky But I definitely agree with you, and I wish I could somehow come to the bottom of why I have such difficulty letting go. I do visit a therapist once a week, but I have always been too shy to really get into the knitty gritty of what went down between us. The only unfullfilling part of my life is my love life, and no matter what, the confidence blow this break up has had on me won't seem to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Blastoplast Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 Seek some therapy, or self medicate by finding a healthy hobby. Connect and network with new people -- volunteer work is a great way to meet new people. You're too young to be too emotionally connected to somebody whom you really didn't have a meaningful, healthy connection with in the first place, IMO. Find somebody worthy of your love when you're ready. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts