His Mother hates me

[Claires]

I really hope you guys can help me on this one I'm just vary confused.

 

Well me and my ex boyfriend meet each other about 5 years ago, and we grew to love each other a whole lot, but most of the time it felt like he loved me more than I loved him. And at that time I was vary young and confused about love or how to handle being loved. I didn't know how to treat him and because he seemed so loving I kind of took advantage of that and treated him like crap :-(. I almost called the cops on him one time and I hit him with stuff and really didn't show him much respect. And I guess he is only human and can only take so much pain and finally we got into our biggest argument and I really messed up his house and well we broke up. After that I moved to another state to finish college but while I was away I've been doing a lot of thinking for about 1 and a half years all I could do is think of him and all the mistakes I've made and I realized I needed him back so I can prove to him that I've changed. So I called him and he has forgiven me and we are trying to take baby steps to get back to where we once where.

The problem is his mother, she is scared that I will hurt him again so she basically doesn't want me to interact with him and tells him that I probably didn't change and I showed him the true me and how he should find someone else and he shouldn't come see me while I am in my dorm because I might fight with him and call the cops on him. She says that she loved me so much and now I just disappointed her to much and she is afraid of me. He wants to come be with me but his mother is telling him a bunch of things and pulling and lying to him so that he will not come and see me.

Well so he suggested that I call her and talk to her and tell her how I feel apologize and let her know how much I love her son and I am willing to change and I will never hurt him again. I don't know what to do I love him vary much and the fact that we are looking forward to a future and his mother disliking me hurts. So maybe you can give me some advice on what I can do to maybe change her mind. Thank you for reading all this .

Happy Holidays

[YssaBoo]

WOW!!!This all sounds too familiar...I went through the same thing earlier this year...He broke up with me for something I don't know if he knows the real reason...His sis said it was his mom...and I think that once the mom is involved,I don't know if you can rekindle anything...I am finally talking to my ex after not speaking for 5 months and it seems anything I say,he gets pi**ed at. I really stil care for him and I think for some of us it is harder to let go ...

 

I have dated others,,not the same and I am friends with his sis, but she tells me that she can do nothing because her mom would disown her if she found out she was talking to me..Have you tried his dad...my exs real dad and I got along great...maybe there is some way when you go to school that it might change..good luck and I wish you the best!!

[Weird]

well, you need to talk to his mom and get her to have faith in you and be ok with you dating her son.

 

By what you said, a lot of stuff you did in the past sounds very psycho-ish so I can easily see why his mom does not want you around him. However, I do know that you deserve a chance to prove that you have matured (big time I would hope) and will not do that silly crap anymore.

 

Here's hoping it all works out.

[strange love]

I read your post and it seems to scream

"anger management"

 

You need to consider taking a course or seeing someone to discuss how you deal with anger. Then that would help smooth things over with is mother.

 

I know you probably reading this and thinking who the hell does he think he is. But you have to see this from the mothers prespective.

 

I know this may sound like a big step but its really not that difficult to get started, it will help the future of the relationship as well. You may even want him to go with you for support.

 

strangelove

[moon]

What a mamma's boy!! Sorry, I find it sort of pathetic when mothers are still trying to stear the course of their sons love lives when they are all grown up.

 

But I guess he must be really close to the woman. It sounds like things are moving in a good direction for you two to get back together. Claires, what is it that set you off with him? Why did you get so mad at him? Was there a valid reason you were even picking on him so much? I mean sometimes we get so frustrated with people if they are constantly disappointing up. I mean you should never hit anybody, but sometimes people raise their voices and that's life. But it doesn't seem like you feel you had justification to freak out. But this guy is still hanging around waiting for you for a year and a half, welcoming you back? This guy's in love for sure. And it sounds like you are too. So I hope you can work things out. Definately call up the mother. She wants what's best for her son, even if she is meddling a bit (which I KNOW it is frustrating). I'd call her and tell her about all the revelations you've had since you broke up.

 

Anger management or counseling could help if you feel your temper is out of control. You might want to really get to the bottom of what's pissing you off so much. It's not a good feeling to go through life blowing up at everyone. There are consequences to doing that. I guess you for one realized that!!

 

Good luck.