psm04 Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 This is something that I've been pondering that I'd like other people's opinions/thoughts on. So, I am 100% certain that my xAP did not want to get in an affair. When we first started, he tried to end it several times, just like I did. However, as the A progressed, he started showing signs of selfish behavior (or cake eater behavior). He also started displaying signs of manipulation. I'm now to the point of not even really being able to stand him because I feel like he has been trying to manipulate me into getting back into the A, is trying to make me feel jealous, is being selfish and is acting like a d**k, etc. I mean, he's just not the same person who I was talking to every day even before we crossed the line. I used to have a blast talking with him about anything and everything. Now, I just want him to leave me alone. I second guess even a 'hey' from him since I'm automatically thinking 'now what does he want from me' Has anyone else experienced this where your AP or xAp started displaying these negative traits as the A progressed, and/or once the A ended? I know that I never tried to manipulate him, and I couldn't be married and have an A, so I ended it for good. But he went from telling me how he loved and was in love with his wife, to how he was 'stuck' and he wanted to leave and be with me but he couldn't. And now, he wants both worlds. It's funny, we both went opposite directions. I went from wanting a divorce to recognizing the good in my H and wanting to stay with my H and work it out. Especially once I realized that my xAP will never have the spine to leave his wife, if he even wants to. Link to post Share on other sites
trailrunner1975 Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 Mine went that way over the course of three months right at the end. Started with delayed responses to texts, then dodging certain questions. I offered to go back to our pre-A days and remain friends but she said she was fine where we were. Her ego also skyrocketed around this time and got to be really annoying. I finally saw that she was not the same person I thought I had known for 25+ yrs. So I started distancing myself at a fast rate and finally NC. Once I saw the edge of the fog I ran as hard as I could towards it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
trailrunner1975 Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 To this day I still don't understand what really went down, though after reading this forum I get the gist of this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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