brokenhearted9 Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 My ex boyfriend and I have been talking and he knows that I have been dating other people and he tells me to wait for him because he is a little messed up right now he wants to sort things out and then come back to me. He confessed that he has issues with sex addiction and he says he wants to change and get things in order. The thing is I know that he has been on sex dating websites and that he went on one date that was disasterous so he must be feeling at a low right now. He was telling me to not date and to wait for him but I said I could not do that so now he was like I want to date you too. That way you can say you are dating me and we can try all over again. he said we needed to break up because we had done so much damage to each other and he needs time to sort things out. My question is do you all think he is doing this because he loves me or is he just afraid to lose me and it's a male ego thing. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 Originally posted by brokenhearted9 My question is do you all think he is doing this because he loves me or is he just afraid to lose me and it's a male ego thing. Both, more or less. I'm sure he cares for you, and you are likely his safety net - the "backup plan". He wants to be able to feed his addiction and have you wait on the sidelines alone until he is finished for now and gets back around to you. He doesn't want you right now, but he doesn't want anyone else to take away his "backup plan" either. If he really does have a problem with sex addiction, then you can expect more of the same until he goes and gets some counseling for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 Yeah I think he sees you as the fallback option and someone he can get his hump-on with. I say you don't have anything to do with this guy until he actually does get some help and hopefully fixes that addiction. Don't set yourself up to be screwed over by this guy again. You're better than that Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 Hell no don't wait for him. He says he wants to get some help.. blah blah.. well all okay, cool you know? Let him get the help he says he wants but not at your expense. This is HIS issue not yours. IF he really wanted to do the right thing(s) he would be doing them RIGHT NOW. Not telling you he needs to sort things out or for you to wait and see if he can stop being an assclown. Tell him "good luck with that" and IF you're still available and interested when or IF he figures things out that you'll see where you're at then and make a decision IF you're still interested in persuing something with him. Good Luck girl;) Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 Originally posted by Weird Yeah I think he sees you as the fallback option and someone he can get his hump-on with. I say you don't have anything to do with this guy until he actually does get some help and hopefully fixes that addiction. Don't set yourself up to be screwed over by this guy again. You're better than that get ya hump on!!! Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 The LAST person you would want to date is a so-called "sex addict" Yuck. I have my own theory about this "sex addiction" hype. IT'S A NICE WAY OF SAYING - HEY I HAVE NO CHARACTER AND I AM A SCUM BAG! "I can't control having sex with people" boo f*cking hoo. Sorry I'm a little bitter on this topic. Make a damn disorder out of everything don't they..guess it makes people feel better about themselves - it's a "sickness" they can't control. "I can't keep my thing on my pants disorder" would be a more appropriate way of putting it. RUN LIKE H-E-L-L Trust me on this one, you do NOT want someone who claims to be a sex addict. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 I'm with YX all of the way on this but for convention's sake I'll use the term sex addict when I really mean "moron who doesn't take responsibility for his selfish, animal, lying behavior and tries to wrap it up in a pretty package saying he's a man". My ex was a freak sex addict. He would lie to the ugliest girls he could find to sleep with them. Given he has stepped down about 7 notches or so from me, I have a good little giggle about it now but at the time it was horrific. Do you remember Halle Berry's ex husband? He was a sex addict. He was a liar and a moron as well and slandered her while trying to get her back. This kind of a guy is the worst kind of addict compared to alcoholics or whatever else. He could bring you an std and he's highly unstable and most importantly, HE"S THE BIGGEST LIAR OF ALL. When you make choices about the kind of person you want in your life, if you don't have 'no sex addicts' crossed off on your list I think you seriously need a therapist. This is not directed at you but for women and men in general. Relationships can end for a variety of reasons and can be resumed under the right conditions, but this guy is seriously messed up and will doublessly be the same person regardless so you have to look after yourself. take care of yourself. no one can do it for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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