Bobibble Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 My ex has been in a rebound relationship with this girl for almost one month. We were together for almost 2 years, broke up about 10 months ago, both were with no one for 5 months until we ran into each other, said we both needed time apart to grow but that we still loved each other, spoke a few times after and saw each other twice after, slept together once, and then one month ago I find out he's in a new relationship three weeks after he texted me asking to see me to which I said no. When he found out I knew that he had got into a relationship, his friends said he wouldn't speak to anyone that night. He asked about me this weekend because he found out I was dating again. He asked his friend who still speaks to me how I was doing, said he heard I was dating someone and that he was happy for me. I just found out that he is taking his new girlfriend on a road trip to Disneyworld for her birthday next weekend. To me it seems as though he is overspending to prove to himself he is happy. I'm sure he is happy but I feel as though that will wear off. When we were first together it was very effortless, we just wanted to spend time staring into each other's eyes and with her I feel as though he is trying too hard. I could be wrong....any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobibble Posted November 4, 2013 Author Share Posted November 4, 2013 Anyone? Trying to bump this back up. Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 You care too much. He's your ex. It should be no concern of yours how he spends his money...especially nearly a year post-break-up. You know, it's possible that it's not even a "rebound" considering it's been ten months since your split. Maybe he really, genuinely likes this girl and sees a future with her. Regardless, if he's in your past, you need to work on not concerning yourself so much with his personal life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
felicity1 Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 You care too much. He's your ex. It should be no concern of yours how he spends his money...especially nearly a year post-break-up. You know, it's possible that it's not even a "rebound" considering it's been ten months since your split. Maybe he really, genuinely likes this girl and sees a future with her. Regardless, if he's in your past, you need to work on not concerning yourself so much with his personal life. No, he's obviously desperate to woo her. It's all about him, not about her! It's so fake. Don't worry, this won't last. This is typical rebound behaviour of a severely depressed male ex! Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 No, he's obviously desperate to woo her. It's all about him, not about her! It's so fake. Don't worry, this won't last. This is typical rebound behaviour of a severely depressed male ex! You completely missed my point. Which was, given that he is her ex, she is devoting too much time to worrying about his personal affairs. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 I agree, you're doing nothing but hurting yourself by continuing to find out information about him. He's doing what he wants to make himself happy. If doing things for her makes him happy, he will do it. He may be just using her birthday as a reason to take a road trip. Either way, who cares? It's his life and your focus needs to be on how to make yourself happy. Personally when I've had relationships end I've spoiled myself. Jumped out of planes, bought new things, splurged on family, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 It's also worth noting that this is OP's third thread about this topic in less than two weeks. It just seems like an unhealthy fascination. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 Unless you are on the receiving end of the largess & worried that some guy is trying to buy you, however much your EX spends or doesn't spend, isn't any of your concern. How do you know he's paying? Maybe he won the tickets or maybe they are hers. Stop focusing on him & what he's doing. Go out & live your life. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 I would ask a friend of an ex how that person was doing as well. It doesn't mean I want them back but I would ask about them and hope they have moved on and are happy. Most people who rebound with someone they don't really want a relationship with do not spend money on trips or anything big. They basically do the bare minimum because their mind is on someone else. I think your ex really digs this girl and is trying to impress her with the best time he can afford. Perhaps when you two dated he didn't have as much money as he does now to spend on his woman. The fact is he's your ex and has a new girlfriend. You have a new boyfriend so it doesn't matter why or what your ex is doing. Link to post Share on other sites
felicity1 Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 You completely missed my point. Which was, given that he is her ex, she is devoting too much time to worrying about his personal affairs. I was curious about what my ex was getting up to, as he left me for superficial reasons. After a string of short relationships with other women he came back to me. My investigations were more of an amusement than anything else! Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 Sounds like it's time to stop focusing on what the ex is doing and start focusing on what you're doing. Move on. That ship has sailed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobibble Posted November 8, 2013 Author Share Posted November 8, 2013 I was curious about what my ex was getting up to, as he left me for superficial reasons. After a string of short relationships with other women he came back to me. My investigations were more of an amusement than anything else! Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
CherryT Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 I was curious about what my ex was getting up to, as he left me for superficial reasons. After a string of short relationships with other women he came back to me. My investigations were more of an amusement than anything else! If this has been posted multiple times in the last 2 weeks like another poster mentioned (I didn't care to check previous posts), then I would say it's unhealthy to keep concerning yourself over what your ex of almost a year is doing. Amusement is hearing something from a friend, having a chuckle, and moving on. But if you're over thinking and dwelling about it and looking for validation on whether it's a rebound or not, I think it's unhealthy. Especially since you've broken up almost a year ago. Yes, it always stings when you hear your ex is now dating someone new... but it's been a year. If you're still caring about it, and you're starting to date yourself, I think it's time to start moving on and not caring so much. I'm not sure how old you are, but he may have considered rebuilding what you had but you said no. When you said no, he decided he wasn't going to dwell and started dating other people. You both had sex with one another, but sometimes sex isn't exclusive to having those feelings anymore. I have friends who even years after they've broken up would have a night of casual sex. Why? Because they are comfortable with each other and didn't end on bad terms. It doesn't mean they still have feelings for each other. They're just filling a need (though I would never do that. To each their own). He has now met someone who he clicks with and for whatever reason decided to pursue it. It could be a rebound but it may also be genuine interest. For most of the guys I've met whom rebounded, they may 'talk' the big talk about how happy they are but most don't go as far as actually putting effort (or investment) into a rebound relationship. At the end of it, I think if he's your ex and you're dating new people now... you should stop caring. If you hear something from a friend, have a good laugh that he's still asking about you. You spent 2 years together, he might still care that you're OK but not necessarily still have feelings for you. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 It's also worth noting that this is OP's third thread about this topic in less than two weeks. It just seems like an unhealthy fascination. It seems, perhaps, the OP has regrets and/or is jealous? I agree with some others, it's none of your business and this post makes you the one that has the issues. No? Link to post Share on other sites
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 My ex has been in a rebound relationship with this girl for almost one month. We were together for almost 2 years, broke up about 10 months ago, both were with no one for 5 months until we ran into each other, said we both needed time apart to grow but that we still loved each other, spoke a few times after and saw each other twice after, slept together once, and then one month ago I find out he's in a new relationship three weeks after he texted me asking to see me to which I said no. When he found out I knew that he had got into a relationship, his friends said he wouldn't speak to anyone that night. He asked about me this weekend because he found out I was dating again. He asked his friend who still speaks to me how I was doing, said he heard I was dating someone and that he was happy for me. I just found out that he is taking his new girlfriend on a road trip to Disneyworld for her birthday next weekend. To me it seems as though he is overspending to prove to himself he is happy. I'm sure he is happy but I feel as though that will wear off. When we were first together it was very effortless, we just wanted to spend time staring into each other's eyes and with her I feel as though he is trying too hard. I could be wrong....any ideas? Who cares he is an ex. Even if he is it has nothing to do with you and you are seeing someone now anyway. Live in today not yesterday! Maybe he was cheap with you and generous with his rebound. But anyway not your business, problem, or concern. Link to post Share on other sites
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