my mother slapped me

[Msrxchef]

I told my parents about my GPA situation (3.3) they said a 3.8 was a minimum GPA i had to keep. I didn't put forth the effort for it either but honestly I wasn't worried about my grades I was more concerned about feeling like belonging. I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere.

 

I spent my first year and a half of college searching for acceptance. Especially from my parents until I realized I couldn't be happy or myself AND be accepted by my parents.

 

I'm at a point where I just want to be myself. i don't want to search for acceptance, I want to live life by the moment and be happy, comfortable with who I am and work hard for what I love to do.

 

I want a well-paid job--so pharmacy is the logical career choice for me since that was my major at the beginning of the school years. But for some reason I can't let go of trying to get into medical school. I see people who have gone out of rehab and alcoholism and dictatorships but are able to go to medical school and I wonder why can't I? I think this is something I would risk anything for and I truly believe I can do it. But most of the time, I just want to feel accepted that this is a goal for me and I want people to support me.

 

I started out college thinking if I said I wanted to go to medical school I was overshooting myself. And then I realized that's ridiculous. Who cares what other people think. I was so insecure.

 

My parents are deeply dissapointed in me as a daughter. I'm not a bad daughter (not pregnant, dont do drugs, drink social-ably) but for some reason they will always see me as the devil's spawn, disobedient.

 

My parents said I was emotionally unstable to the point of depression. I should go into therapy treatment. They said the same thing when I was 13. I did. I havent told them about my therapist but i think my therapist and I have mutual agreement that things will be OK. That I at least will be OK.

 

I didn't get the grades I should have to be a competitive applicant to Medical School because I was struggling with identifying with myself versus what my parents said in my mind. I was struggling to grow as an individual and my parents don't like that. I am finally able to forgo my parents voices in my head making silent judgements. And now I just want to live but feel accepted too.

[pteromom]

I'm at a point where I just want to be myself. i don't want to search for acceptance, I want to live life by the moment and be happy, comfortable with who I am and work hard for what I love to do.

 

This sounds healthy to me.

 

I want a well-paid job--so pharmacy is the logical career choice for me since that was my major at the beginning of the school years. But for some reason I can't let go of trying to get into medical school. I see people who have gone out of rehab and alcoholism and dictatorships but are able to go to medical school and I wonder why can't I? I think this is something I would risk anything for and I truly believe I can do it. But most of the time, I just want to feel accepted that this is a goal for me and I want people to support me.

 

This contradicts what you are saying in the first part of your post. Don't worry about other people accepting your choices. Follow your passions. If you can afford medical school and that's what you want to do, then go for it. Don't let anyone stand in your way.

 

My parents are deeply dissapointed in me as a daughter. I'm not a bad daughter (not pregnant, dont do drugs, drink social-ably) but for some reason they will always see me as the devil's spawn, disobedient.

 

I am sorry your parents aren't showing you love and respect. I'll quote Dr. Phil here and say that sometimes you have to give yourself what you wish you could get from others. Whatever is going on inside your parents' heads makes them unable to just be loving and supportive. It's not your fault.

 

I didn't get the grades I should have to be a competitive applicant to Medical School because I was struggling with identifying with myself versus what my parents said in my mind. I was struggling to grow as an individual and my parents don't like that. I am finally able to forgo my parents voices in my head making silent judgements. And now I just want to live but feel accepted too.

 

You gotta let go of the struggle. You cannot control what your parents say or do, but you can control what YOU say and do. You can kick them - and their voices - out of your head, and just love yourself. Take one day at a time and just do what you need to do to keep moving forward.

[Keenly]

If your parents bring nothing positive to the table, its time to cut them out of your life. Just because they are your parents doesn't mean they get to treat you like a piece of garbage.

[turnera]

You sound perfectly normal to me. My DD23 worked her BUTT off in college and ended up with only a 2.8 GPA. Try to start dissociating from your parents. They are NOT YOU, ok? What THEY want out of life...they're welcome to go get it. But this is YOUR life, so it's YOUR choices. If you want medical school, start talking to people who can help you get into it. Eventually, your parents will just become people you see now and then, and you won't feel compelled to please them so much.