Embarassing Behavior

[hurtnomorerika]

Has anyone done anything embarassing during or after the affair? Affairs can take an emotional toll and cause you to act out and do things that you normally wouldnt do.

 

How did you handle the embarassment now that you look back on it?

[Goodbye]

Yeah, sure. I'm glad I'd given up alcohol before this whole mess or I would have probably drunk dialed half the world. There is an upside to everything.

 

I did plenty of regrettable things. I am embarrassed now to have even participated in the fiasco. After he finally was upfront with me about his marriage, I did come unglued. I did stupid stuff like threaten to out him to his wife. I went on his facebook and hers, to see what they were up to and I'd confront him on stuff I saw...that makes me cringe. I didn't like that behavior at the time, and it doesn't get better with age. I did a fair amount of sobbing and shared WAY too much about myself with someone who didn't really give a crap. All that stuff makes me cringe. But, the past is gone forever.

 

When I find myself dwelling over such things I just remind myself that going 100% silent on him was absolutely the most dignified thing I could do.

 

You'll reclaim your dignity with time. Just watch your steps.

[MissBee]

Yup .

 

The main thing for me was, the A made me insecure, and it was obvious why. That insecurity which came from such an unstable relationship dynamic led me to worries and paranoia, that I didn't have in other relationships, which led to embarrassing behaviors at times. I have felt insecure from time to time in other relationships but it was different and more temporary when the relationship was an open one founded not on any weird triangle or secrecy vs. one which was built with those things woven in directly. With the A I had higher levels of anxiety about the set up and whether it would all come crashing down one day or whether he was doing this or that and all of those worries would sometimes culminate in embarrassing behavior smh.

[solostand]

Fooled around with him in his hospital bed. I men serious sexual foolin around! With the curtain pulled and his roomate not five feet away, and the threat of a nurse or his wife walking in at any moment. Crazy. Thats stuff you do as a teenager.

[wannabdone]

Basically everything I did or didn't do during the A, I am embarrassed of.

 

A's tend to completely change who you once were, the things you were actually proud of about yourself, they dwindle away. Until you wake up one day, and you think "who in the hell are you?".

 

How I handle it now? I know I lost my ever loving mind for quite a long period of time. I lived and learned, and I can not change what I did in the past, BUT I could make myself a better person now and moving forward. I learned a lot of very valuable lessons from having an A. Ones that I probably would have never learned if I had not had it. I am happy for those lessons, I wish I could have learned them another way of course, but I accept I didn't. I learned them this way.

 

I am now a better version of what I was prior to my A. Much more gentle, non judgmental and caring. I know exactly what I want in my life, and what I need that was the void filler during my A. I have learned that I am the most important person and I deserve to be seen as such by any man.

 

None of that is not too bad to know and to have become. So, I am grateful for my stupidity, and my lessons. Life is good!!!

[MorbidFever]

Yes lol! It was embarrassing at the time, but now I just laugh about it. Mainly just one incident though when I was drinking (quit since) and went on a verbal rampage to him over a misunderstood text.

 

How about embarrassing things 'they' have done..the MM or MW?

 

We both got matching finger tattoos, but wait. He had one of my tattoo's copied, traced and inked on his neck. Imagine, as a wife, having to see that everyday.

 

The biggest I think was when he created a fake Facebook account to try and infiltrate mine. The obvious sign was he friended all our mutuals within 24 hours. Not too clever. He sent me a friend request and I ignored it and just watched all the weird stuff he posted (publicly) under that account. It was hilarious. Then I blocked him. After I blocked him, he posted as a 'relative' under this fake account saying the person died of liver failure. So bizarre!