motivational self talk?

[d0nnivain]

I am working with a therapist to deal with my depression & anxiety but it's a long, slow road.

 

He keeps encouraging me to get out there & do stuff. . . somehow he seems to think I can magically talk myself through it & get better.

 

I do believe in the power of positive thinking, despite the fact that I am having trouble applying that in practice to my life.

 

Can anyone give me examples of things they do or say to motivate themselves when they just don't feel like they can get out of bed & face the world?

[Philosoraptor]

Yes, positive thought can spin your world for the better. Nothing is gained by beating yourself down and assuming the worst.

 

What have you got to lose by being positive and putting effort into doing things for yourself? Worst case you end up in the same place you are now. I used to tell myself that if I didn't try I wouldn't have to fail, but by not trying you're just not living... and life is too short to do nothing but exist.

 

Yes, when I was depressed no amount of help was going to change me. It wasn't until I decided I wanted to feel better that I started to bring optimism into my life. People now wouldn't even think I was capable of negative thought, as I put a little sunshine into just about everything. I truly believe that no matter what happens things will work out for the best in the long run, and that the bad things that happen in life are just temporary negatives... so I find the best in the situation and move on.

[d0nnivain]

Thank you. I appreciate your positive words but can you please be a bit more specific? Generalizations like "it will all be OK" aren't working for me. In specific settings I can still muster some good self talk (e.g. I will make this sale. I will find the specific item I need) but the best I can come up with is, "nothing bad will happen today" which isn't getting me out of the house & because it's phrased in the negative isn't ideal but I just can't get all the way to "something good will happen today".

 

At this point, if I made the smallest mistake I end up in a tail spin which is hard to recover from.

[Philosoraptor]

Seems like your issue is more not trusting yourself or having faith in your own abilities. You need to trust that things will work out and that you have the ability to change and adapt to whatever the situation entails. You need to be able to follow up your positive self talk with positive self action.

[FitChick]

From another thread I posted on:

 

The cognitive approaches (CBT) assist clients to think more rationally, in order to act more rationally, in the face of such strong emotions as anger, depression, and hostility, etc. [a different type of therapy] is used by the facilitator to assist clients to eliminate the beliefs that produce such emotions. When these emotions stop after the beliefs that cause them are eliminated, there no longer is a need for a tool (self talk, relaxation technique) to deal with them more effectively.

[d0nnivain]

Do I need a counselor who specialized in Cognative Behavior Therapy to use the techiques or can I read book? Can you all teach me some of the techniques?

 

Because this is all about my negative emotions overriding the objective facts.

 

When I tell my therapist I think I suck because __________ ; he points out the objective facts that show I actually succeeded. But I don't believe or see it. I know I need to stop doing this to myself but I'm struggling to do so.

 

For example, back in school I'd beat myself up if I got a 98 on a test; even if it was the highest grade in the class & I ruined the curve, I'd be depressed because I didn't get 100. Some of it stems from my mom whose attitude was there is perfect & then there is failure; 2nd place is really the first loser.

 

These attitudes are starting to ruin my life because instead of pushing me forward, which was my mother's intent, now they hold me back & make me afraid to even start or try.

[melell]

From another thread I posted on:

 

The cognitive approaches (CBT) assist clients to think more rationally, in order to act more rationally, in the face of such strong emotions as anger, depression, and hostility, etc. [a different type of therapy] is used by the facilitator to assist clients to eliminate the beliefs that produce such emotions. When these emotions stop after the beliefs that cause them are eliminated, there no longer is a need for a tool (self talk, relaxation technique) to deal with them more effectively.

 

This highlights a really important part of it. When you are looking for a positive affirmation to use, or any positive statement you really need to take that statement from your own perspectives/philosophies on life, so that you believe it.

It can be really difficult when your perspective isn't optimistic, or is really negative.

 

It stems for your beliefs, and we usually define ourselves by our beliefs. For me, I found it most useful to reevaluate my perspective, and to remind myself that thoughts=perspective, and perspective=thoughts. When we think and feel a certain way the thoughts and feelings are very real, but how accurate is the perspective behind it, and how many other perspectives could replace the more negative one?

 

I was lucky to have access to the journal articles on psychology through my university, and they helped me 100%. It is trial an error on finding something the suits you, you may have to go to a few different therapists before you find the right method.

When you are feeling like it isn't working remind yourself that you are trying one aspect out of many that could help, and it is better to try your very best at each one than to not!

[melell]

Do I need a counselor who specialized in Cognative Behavior Therapy to use the techiques or can I read book? Can you all teach me some of the techniques?

 

Because this is all about my negative emotions overriding the objective facts.

 

When I tell my therapist I think I suck because __________ ; he points out the objective facts that show I actually succeeded. But I don't believe or see it. I know I need to stop doing this to myself but I'm struggling to do so.

 

For example, back in school I'd beat myself up if I got a 98 on a test; even if it was the highest grade in the class & I ruined the curve, I'd be depressed because I didn't get 100. Some of it stems from my mom whose attitude was there is perfect & then there is failure; 2nd place is really the first loser.

 

These attitudes are starting to ruin my life because instead of pushing me forward, which was my mother's intent, now they hold me back & make me afraid to even start or try.

 

You are obviously really intelligent. And you can view your thoughts and feelings from an objective position. Believe or not, this is therapy in itself. You have identified attitudes that are the problem, and you have identified your use of those attitudes and how they are detrimental to you.

 

Keep trying, things can improve for you if you keep working on it.

[mea_M]

Well, during the time I was feeling this way. Something, a vascular doc at a major medical clinic said to me stuck. It was this. Get up and show up. For some reason that helped. It was kinda saying move on and keep going. Helpful.

 

Mea :-)