Trying to start a friendship with my ex.

[TranslucentThoughts]

So, we broke up about 2 months ago. He broke up with me... and although it was really hard I decided that I didn't want to lose him completely. We were really close when we were together but now it's like we're practically strangers. I see him at school but we barely talk and it just feels wrong. I miss his company.. being able to talk to him and laugh with him. Things like that. I put a christmas card in his locker today with a letter basically asking if trying to be friends would be such a bad idea and that we should give it a shot. I talked about how I missed hanging out and how it sucked that we don't anymore. That was about all it said.... anyway.... I don't know if he will reply or not... and it would be really upsetting if he didn't. Sometimes he likes to just ignore things that he his faced with... I don't want this to be one of them. =( Our break up was hard on both of us... he claimed he still loved me but that something had changed in our relationship and he didn't feel as strongly anymore. So... ok... i'd assume he'd still want to at least try and be friends... right? I don't know... I have a feeling he'll just ignore this letter... and it's a pretty big posibility... (he's like that!) What would be some reasons why he would do that though? Any ideas. Pleaseeee!

[bicyclejunk]

I wouldn't push it too much.

 

He could be hurting and he may be acting like my Buddy Mike.

Mike knew the relationship wasn't good for him and although he

really was dying over his relationship ending, He needed a fresh start.

He needed to end things completely because seeing his ex and trying

to take things to a "friend" level was not what he wanted. He couldn't

go from all the LOVE to 'just friends', so he changed his numbers and

ignored her calls.

 

He just made himself Busy. Because he wanted to forget about her.

 

I don't want you falling into the Lonely stage of life. Yeah, you are going to miss him

and you do right now. But if he's giving the cold shoulder or is acting like he's trying to forget

you and doesn't want to be friends, Let Him GO. Forget about him and get on with your own

life and find other thigns to fill the void.

 

It will suck for a while but you gotta do it. focus on You, Not him. who knows, Maybe

if you stop contacting him, he'll come crawling to you. Not to be mean(not saying you're being this way)

But Don't Be The Pathetic one. Be the strong one.

 

Good luck.

[helena abadi]

Being friends, if it is at all possible, can only start when the hurting stops and that persistant dance of pursuing-distancing stops. Healing takes time. No contact is the best option. It's the only option.

 

Pursuing someone who does not want to be pursued makes you look bad, desperate, and you are in danger of being treated with contempt. Do you want to look bad?

 

Hell no, you want to look good. For yourself, first.

 

So stop it. Be cool.

 

Bicycle junk has a point, and guys are perhaps a bit more efficient than girls in diverting attention, compartmentalising their feelings and sections of their lives, and getting on with things.

 

Girls tend to remain emotionally connected to the relationship longer. Unfortunately it's just who we are. It sux. But it's no excuse to wimp out and treat ourselves like we're bottom of the food chain.