feelin very alone for holidays

[susann]

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feelin very alone for holidays

 

My fiancee has just passed away Sept 8th , 2004.. I am trying to get through the holidays and havin adifficult time.. and was hoping to meet and chat with different people on here.. See if anyone else has experieinced this .....

I can't sleep .. crying and feel so alone..even with my family here.

[moimeme]

My condolences on your loss. How sad that you didn't even get to marry him.

 

I haven't experienced that sort of loss but I suggest that you reach out to your family and let them support you. They will understand that you'll need extra support now.

[susann]

I have tried to reach out to my family.. I am going though all grief motions at this time.. anger.. lonel.....pulling away from all and yes even the sucide thoughts.. No I will not do it.. As I have 2 wonderful small grandchildren..and my 2 sons..they r my strength to keep going..

I have seeked out councelling in Pallative Care which I started going to.. I even cried.. I was embarrrassed at firs to show my feelings to strangers..

And one hard part is coming yet.. My fiancees ashes will be sent to me between Xmas and New Years

Some find it hard to understand but we met on internet 2 yrs ago and out friendship and love developed from there..

Thank you for your response

Sue

[Karlise13]

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss.

 

I'm glad you are seeking counseling. I hope you have a good connection with your counselor. Talk therapy really does help.

 

Although you may not feel much like socializing or eating well during this time, do try to spend at least 30 minutes a day talking to someone. It doesn't even have to be an intimate conversation. Just having a connection with another human being, in whatever capacity, helps.

 

Do try to eat soothing, healthy things while you're struggling with intense emotions. Buy easy things to prepare and eat (sorry, I'm a dietitian. I can't help giving nutrition advice). When I work with grieving patients I suggest comfort foods like pudding, mashed potatoes, soups, ice cream and mashed sweet potatoes or squash.

 

Go to bed early. Don't drink alcohol.

 

Do seek out a spiritual path if it's helpful; either through traditional religious forums or more alternative routes, such as yoga.

 

My heart goes out to you.

I do hope you find some joyful moments this holiday.

[susann]

Hello

Would like to thank you both for your letters of support.. Its nice to know there are caring people..

I have had contact with my church.. omg thought the walls woudl come down.. been so long since I was there.. but you know talking to my priest has made me feel so good and he is the one tha thelped me get help in Pallative Care which is a fantastic group of people going through the same thing..

Was strange gettin hugged by strangers. But was nice to know they shared my feeling.. where my family don't know what to say...

It has taken a tole on me in other areas.. but I will pull through.. I am a Leo and strong person.. and determined to make all work

 

Sue

[MelodyJ]

Susann,

My heart goes out to you for what you are going through. I won't even pretend to know how you are feeling, but it sounds like you are headed in the right direction towards healing. Keep up the positive attitude, that's over half the battle. Good luck to you. The holidays will be here and gone before you know it, so just stay strong, surround yourself with people, and you'll get thru them.

Good luck to you,

Ms. M

[turn178]

I am so sorry for your loss....I know the pain is beyond word.

Three years ago last November I lost the man I love. He died in my arms of a heart attach and it has taken my three years to recover. I tried not to think about him, removed myself from all the things that reminded me of him and denied the pain I felt. It was a huge mistake. It was only when I began talking about him, remembering, sharing our storys with others that I was able to begin to feel and release the pain. My suggestion to you would be to share your story, talk with others who loved him about all the good memories and about how much he will be missed. Know that he will be with you at moments when you least expect it something will be said or you will find something and you will know it is him letting you know he is still with you. For me it was pennies. My guy was a freak about picking up pennies on the gound, odd but true. After his death you will not believe the number of pennies I found and they weren't just the random penny but there would be a straight line of five or three in a perfect triangle. After about the third occurance in one day I said "Ok, ok, I get it".

Don't expect not to hurt, you will, but know that time will make it easier. You don't lose love, it just changes form.

God Bless

[Barby]

I too am sorry for your loss and no matter how you met it is just as painful to lose someone you love. You are not alone (even though no matter who you have nothing and no one can erase your grief of your loss) but please know your wonderful family loves you and for what it's worth us fellow Love Shackers are here for you.

 

 

 

I think therapy is a very good idea although I can imagine that sharing such painful experiences with strangers would be absolutely terrifying...but at least you'll be getting it out and hopefully they'll help you to be able to deal better.

 

 

Susan I know you said that you wouldn't commit suicide but the thoughts are creeping in, please remember that offing your life would end your misery (to an extent) but would bring lots and lots of misery and pain to those who love you most.

 

Thanks for sharing here with us and please know that we're here for you.

[ConfusedTeenager]

Hi im very sorry to hear that also. Im only 17 and sometimes I worry about this happening to me whenever im older.

 

The main reason is this happened to my Mother. I dont know how she goes in day in and day out she is so strong. Just try your hardest to hang in there.

 

Where are always here for you. We arent a community we are family too =)

 

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