Why do guys on singles dating sites never actually want to meet anyone they talk to?

[Patiently waiting]

Now that I am single, I was wondering why every time I talk to a guy on an internet dating site that they never actually want to meet. We discuss going out, maybe dinner or lunch. They say they will call, then they don't. What's up with that? We totally hit it off while chatting. I do notice that they always ask for pictures as I don't post mine. I have no problems sending any, and they always tell me that I am very pretty. But they don't want the regular pictures, they always push for nude or seductive photos. Why the heck would I give those out even if I had any. I don't want my pictures floating around and being looked at by some strange guy and his friends. What do they do?? Put them on their collection wall?? Why do they even bother going on dating sites if they don' t really want to date?? Can someone please explain this? I am beginning to believe that there just are NO decent guys out there. It is very disheartening. I am starting to really believe that I will never meet someone and be involved in a relationship ever again! I can't imagine the rest of my life without a partner or companion to share my love with. I am getting really depressed and feeling very hopeless........I'm only 37, I have a lot of years of emptiness ahead of me......

[johan]

I can't say why they are doing that, but it's probably like any other kind of dating: you have to sift through all the crappy ones to find the few that have potential. Probably on the internet dating sites the crappy guy-to-decent guy ratio is higher. Don't be discouraged.

 

By the way, if you DO end up with any nude or seductive pictures of yourself, feel free to post them.

[Patiently waiting]

Originally posted by johan

I can't say why they are doing that, but it's probably like any other kind of dating: you have to sift through all the crappy ones to find the few that have potential. Probably on the internet dating sites the crappy guy-to-decent guy ratio is higher. Don't be discouraged.

 

By the way, if you DO end up with any nude or seductive pictures of yourself, feel free to post them.

 

 

Uh, yeah....further proving my belief that there aren't any decent guys out there....

 

Thanks for the encouragement, I think.....??!

[johan]

That last part was just a joke. Sorry, I don't try to make it clear when I'm doing that.

 

Maybe the guys have so many different women to chat with that they just keep shopping without ever really making a selection. I still think that the traditional way to meet people is the best. You have to go on so many more dates with strangers when you are doing the internet thing. Before you meet a good one, that is.

 

Maybe don't rely only on internet dating. Go do the social stuff, too.

[moimeme]

I'd immediately write off any guy who asks for nude photos. That sort aren't interested in dating at all; they're just trolling the dating sites for gullible gals who'll send photos. I'd not be surprised if the photos end up on porn sites - it's easier and cheaper to scam people looking for dates than it is to have to pay models.

[Patiently waiting]

So even when I do go out and do social stuff, or even meet a new guy at work, it always turns out that they are not really interested in dating or a relationship, they just want to have sex. What ever happened to companionship? At least my MM still wants to be friends now that we are not having sex or a relationship. (It's me who wants nothing to do with him now cause of how he devastated me by deciding to stay in his supposedly "bad marriage" after seeing me for a year!) It's like 2 puzzles in the same box and you can't match the pieces even though you know which puzzle they should belong to.......

[johan]

Maybe you're just having a bad streak. "It's a numbers game." That's the single guy mantra.

[Curt]

I have my flaws. However, I do feel I have a lot to offer any woman that is willing to start a real relationship with me.

 

Nonetheless, I've used dating sites, too. Let me say that, from a man's perspective, the same comment that you made regarding males can be made of females .

 

I've seen a number of women (girls?) now that are into nothing more than stringing a guy along, playing games, being insincere, etc.

 

Fact is, dating is a challenge today, at least IMHO. A true loving, close, soulful relationship appears to be a foreign concept to many.

 

Nonetheless, we must all believe that there are decent people out there, and not become bitter regarding the numbers of duds there are out there too.

 

Getting laid is one thing, but getting love is quite another.

 

That's my $0.02.

 

Cheers all.

 

Curt

[Icarus]

PW ...

 

There are good guys out there! Be patient.

 

One of the things you need to realize is the mantra that "most guys are after only one thing". A lot of guys on internet dating sites are lookin' for a little BOOTY! But every once in a rare while, there's one out there that's looking for more. Keep your eyes peeled, read what they say, talk/chat with them awhile. Get to know what's going through their head. If they're willing to exchange emails or chat for awhile and talk about worthwhile things other than a little "action", they're worth a chance. If they keep demanding, or harping on seeing a photo, be suspicious. Talk to them on the phone!!! Are they sincere? If they ask for any kinky/nude pics ... RUN, RUN, RUN!!!!

 

I've done the internet thing myself. For guys, it's different, (especially for me I think). I'd like to think I'm one of those "rare" guys you're looking for. I like to know things about a person I find attractive other than appearances. BUT ... Don't get me wrong ... I need to find someone attractive, and at some point have asked for a photo or two if they didn't have one. If I don't'really find them attractive for one reason or another, I just kinda fade off. I've NEVER asked for explicit photos ... and never would.

 

Keep the faith. There IS someone out there. The important thing is not that you're looking, but that you're ready to recognize him when he shows up out of thin air when you didn't expect he ever would!!!

 

Good luck -- we're with ya!

[havNfun]

I think guys are afraid to actually meet because most of the time 1 of two things happen to them: often the girl has mislead the guy about her looks and actually weighs 100 more than she lead on. Or, the women are way to picky and treat the date like an interview so guys start to get intimidate by the unrealistic criteria that women have.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by Patiently waiting

Now that I am single, I was wondering why every time I talk to a guy on an internet dating site that they never actually want to meet.

 

 

actually this applies to BOTH sexes on the internet... could be cause:

 

1) they are married or in a relationship

2) they are not who or what they say they are

3) they are just plain weird or shy

[ConfusedInOC]

I have a friend who is using such a service. He's not a bad looking guy but in his experience women are using those sites to screen OUT men that aren't either RICH or extremely HOT. So you either have to make 150k+ or have a body like Fabio.

 

Men that don't meet up are using it mostly to cheat on their wives, scam nudies, etc.

 

The "regular Joe's" are left paying the fees and getting nothing out of it. He's been using it for six months, not a single date. Had two girls flake on him (make dates, not show up).

 

This is why I asked about it because if his experience is typical, I don't want anything to do with Internet Dating. I'll stick to Church functions to meet someone.

[ICantStopLovinHim]

I would like to know what dating sites you use that you can chat. I cant seem to find any. Thanks in advance if you could help

[alphamale]

try eHarmony.com....THEY use 29 dimensions of compatiblity to help find the luv of yer life

 

 

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Ho ha he he he

[citygrrl]

Let me get this straight.... in the real world (outside of the internet) would someone say to you, "Hey, before we go out can I see you naked?" And just picture some perv sitting there and getting off on your picture! EEWWWWW! These people are sickos -and the sad thing is that a majority of people go on those dating sites because they really do want to meet someone, as a date, friend, relationship, etc.- and the last thing they need is for someone to ask for nude photos. And you really don't even know who would be receiving them , or where they would end up.

[iceisles]

The guy-to-girl ratio on most of these sites is so ridiculous that it'a almost impossible to meet people. I am letting my 3-month subscription to Yahoo Personals expire after receiving nothing more than a pair of "Sorry, I've met someone" responses. That was the biggest waste of $40 bucks I could imagine.

[shadis]

Some people on dating sites think of it as fishing, or as a nice form of entertainment. They lay out the bait, and wait for fish to bite. Fish like you. Then they will throw you back into the ocean, knowing that they could have you, and look for other challenges. I find that dating is best done away from the internet.

[250r]

I'll admit to using a online dating site a few years ago (i'm a guy). I met maybe 15 different women (chatting and emailing) - around 5 dismissed me, I dismissed about 5 and I actually went out with about 5 of them. It would be 5 of the worst dates I had ever been on in my life! I'll even admit to leaving one of them at the resteraunt after 5 minutes she was so obnoxious... and one if you can actually believe this was doing it for research on a college term paper for psych! She didn't tell me until after I already paid for dinner and drinks at a pretty expensive place of course. She said she wasn't even going to tell me but felt sorry since I was so nice and even asked if she could call me sometime. Needless to say I never talked to her again eventhough she did actually email me a few times afterwords...

[alphamale]

there are plenty of married or attached women on these dating sites that use it to fish for "someone better".

 

it is a good way for these women to get attention from other men when their hubby or b/f isn't treating 'em right or is away on a business trip.

 

many women are so into getting attention that they intentionally mislead men on these internet dating sites saying they are available when in actuality they are not. but I guess this happens in real life too but it is harder to pull off.

 

i've seen women who have profiles (women i know personally) who I KNOW have a b/f and they reveal or hide their profile whenever they need to.

[iceisles]

Further proof that meeting people is hard. Metting people you connect with is downright rare. Isn't love fun?