GSpiff Posted January 17, 2001 Share Posted January 17, 2001 No, not in a sexual manner. I've been dating the same girl for two years now and we've been very serious, though we've had our problems. I mean, we've broken up a couple times, last night we did again. She's given the same reason each time, "I need to be alone" (she's been dating people since she was 15). Now, she's said that she needs to be alone in the past, and ends up coming back to me usually a month later. So I'm guessing being alone isn't what she wants. She says she feels tied in the relationship. I want to try something new with her and find a way to work it out rather than having her run away again to come back and have the problems start. I want to fix things before it's too late. And love is definately not a problem as it's very clear on both our parts that we love each other. She's confused. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Adam Posted January 17, 2001 Share Posted January 17, 2001 I am trying to understand what you are saying, but it seems to me that this girls see's you as an available body when no one else is around. Yes, two years is a long time but it doesn't sound like a stable two years at all! If she wanted to be alone she wouldn't have come back. Maybe she's been seeing other people, maybe she's been having thinking tim. The thing you need to do is talk to her. You need tolet her know how you feel. Be a freind, let nature takes its course, but it sounds to me mate that you could do a lot better. Link to post Share on other sites
GSpiff Posted January 17, 2001 Share Posted January 17, 2001 No, it's not that she uses me because I'm an available body. She really is genuine about the relationship. She gets confused very easily. I guess it's tough to give advice on the situation not having been in it. There hasn't been anyone else in that time, and when we're together, things are great. She just seems to have a conflict of interest. She wants to be alone, yet she wants the relationship. I'm just looking for a way for her not to feel tied down in the relationship. I am trying to understand what you are saying, but it seems to me that this girls see's you as an available body when no one else is around. Yes, two years is a long time but it doesn't sound like a stable two years at all! If she wanted to be alone she wouldn't have come back. Maybe she's been seeing other people, maybe she's been having thinking tim. The thing you need to do is talk to her. You need tolet her know how you feel. Be a freind, let nature takes its course, but it sounds to me mate that you could do a lot better. Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted January 17, 2001 Share Posted January 17, 2001 Confused is right, because she wants contradictory things. She wants to be alone but she loves you. This is not satisfactory to you because you don't want to wait around for her to bounce back to you after she has had enough of being alone. But to an impartial observer, it looks like she is yanking your strings. I guess your emotional life is supposed to be put on hold until she decides differently. Personally, I would take that "I want to be alone," stuff as an invitation to go out and start seeing other people. She is letting you know she does not want to be with you. Don't wait patiently for her to make up her mind once again. Get on with your own life. You may find that there is someone out there that really wants to be with you and will not withdraw. No, it's not that she uses me because I'm an available body. She really is genuine about the relationship. She gets confused very easily. I guess it's tough to give advice on the situation not having been in it. There hasn't been anyone else in that time, and when we're together, things are great. She just seems to have a conflict of interest. She wants to be alone, yet she wants the relationship. I'm just looking for a way for her not to feel tied down in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Adam Posted January 17, 2001 Share Posted January 17, 2001 Ok mate, maybe I got it all arse upwards but you obviously are hurting because of this. Yes, she is confused about what she wants, she needs to be able to move around yet have her hubby at home. She can't have her cake and eat it too. No, it's not that she uses me because I'm an available body. She really is genuine about the relationship. She gets confused very easily. I guess it's tough to give advice on the situation not having been in it. There hasn't been anyone else in that time, and when we're together, things are great. She just seems to have a conflict of interest. She wants to be alone, yet she wants the relationship. I'm just looking for a way for her not to feel tied down in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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