Male 30 never been in a relationship..

[Tomswrd]

Again, that is the depression talking. I know. I have it. I've learned to deal with it. Did you even read the Rest of my post?

 

Yes I read all of it. Depression does its own talking, reality is another thing.

 

Expecially if you are as good looking as you claim.

I was better looking when I was younger, and I haven't aged so well I really do look mid to late 30s. I make no lie I've been told I'm an 8 or 9 out of 10 in looks and I have often taken it for granted but really its the only thing I have going for me at the moment given my mental health and financial situation. I have got fit again as well so there is that.

 

I got hit on often when I was younger, depression ruined my interactions.

[EngnimaticResponse]

Simply stopping your antidepressants after taking them in large doses for a long period is a very bad idea. It is why you are having the wild variance in mood. Talk to your doctor right away. Tell him you stopped taking it. Also tell him you want to reduce the dose and try to manage yourself. See what he says. This is important. And should be your first concern if it takes over that much of your life.

[KaliLove]

Will you be quiet. Just stop writing your nonsense on this thread.

 

 

 

Well I'm told by people on this thread I have not missed out, yet clearly if I am not allowed to go for girls in their early 20s because I am too old, then I have.

 

I like women all ages, but I'd at least liked to have experienced what I should have when I was younger and the time was right..

 

 

 

Because its a fact.. I can't go for younger girls anymore. I would have wanted to get it out of my system and then settle down, now I can't, its too late.

 

You have an awfully big sense of entitlement there my friend. Not everybody gets to live that kind of life. As I said in another thread, when I was young, I was working 3 jobs and taking care of my sick mother. Do you see me throwing a temper tantrum about it now?

 

You can either forget the past and move forward, or you can keep stamping your feet and crying about how you didn't get the women that you 'deserved' when you were younger and so there's no point in trying now.

 

Get over it and move forward! If you really wanted to kill yourself, you wouldn't be posting about it on Loveshack. You obviously want to be talked out of it, so stop shooting down every kind response you get and get off your butt and help yourself! We cannot do it for you, we can only encourage you.

[Tomswrd]

You have an awfully big sense of entitlement there my friend. Not everybody gets to live that kind of life. As I said in another thread, when I was young, I was working 3 jobs and taking care of my sick mother. Do you see me throwing a temper tantrum about it now?

 

You can either forget the past and move forward, or you can keep stamping your feet and crying about how you didn't get the women that you 'deserved' when you were younger and so there's no point in trying now.

 

Get over it and move forward! If you really wanted to kill yourself, you wouldn't be posting about it on Loveshack. You obviously want to be talked out of it, so stop shooting down every kind response you get and get off your butt and help yourself! We cannot do it for you, we can only encourage you.

 

Everyone is entitled to a few experiences when they were younger, everyone. I'm not talking about having loads of girls, I never had a player requirement etc.

 

I'm talking about normal interactions, even a couple of relationships to date. That can happen even in the most difficult situations, a woman can have psychological difficulties and still be lead along into a romantic situation by a mate, for men who are meant to do the leading in interactions it is the kiss of death and women can be very unforgiving, although I do not blame them.

 

Get over it and move forward! If you really wanted to kill yourself, you wouldn't be posting about it on Loveshack. You obviously want to be talked out of it, so stop shooting down every kind response you get and get off your butt and help yourself! We cannot do it for you, we can only encourage you.

 

Well it does make me feel somewhat better talking about it, but when the reality dawns on me I realise suicide is the only way out, wanted a final discussion about it outside of my head.

 

Simply stopping your antidepressants after taking them in large doses for a long period is a very bad idea. It is why you are having the wild variance in mood. Talk to your doctor right away. Tell him you stopped taking it. Also tell him you want to reduce the dose and try to manage yourself. See what he says. This is important. And should be your first concern if it takes over that much of your life.

Actually I came off very slowly over a period of a year I requested it from the doctor. This is when I woke up to the realities in my life not being a drugged out zombie. All my friends are married or getting married around me, no one is messing around with young 20s girls, they all did that already, same for the girls. Edited July 14, 2014 by Tomswrd

[KaliLove]

So you'd rather die than experience anything?

 

I'm 32 and single, should I kill myself?

[EngnimaticResponse]

Not til I get ta meet ya sweetheart.

 

 

And don't worry. He's not going to do it. Contemplation is only one of the first steps. You know how many times I've thought about it? I can't hold up enough appendages. My ex-roommate informed me once. He tried (and failed or we wouldn't have met) three times to kill himself. He said you need to be in a particular state of mind to go through with it. I did not know what he meant. Untill I took that next step. I did not actually try anything since I was stuck at work, and by the end of my shift I had "come out of it". And it scared the heck out of me. I know without a doubt had I been alone at home, I would not be here now.

 

And that is how I know. The fact he is here talking about it. He's not ready. Not even close.

Edited July 14, 2014 by EngnimaticResponse

[Big Blue Box]

Everyone is entitled to a few experiences when they were younger, everyone. I'm not talking about having loads of girls, I never had a player requirement etc.

 

This is the problem with quite a few people of today, they think they are entitled to just about everything in life. Face it, you are not entitled to even date let alone have a relationship. Face it, women and men have their own free wills and they can be attracted to whomever they want and they can choose whomever they want. If you don't like that then tough s***. Cry us a river, build a bridge, then get over it.

 

I'm talking about normal interactions, even a couple of relationships to date. That can happen even in the most difficult situations, a woman can have psychological difficulties and still be lead along into a romantic situation by a mate, for men who are meant to do the leading in interactions it is the kiss of death and women can be very unforgiving, although I do not blame them.

 

Really? With the rest of your posts you come across as a whiny child that throws a temper tantrum because you aren't getting your way. Essentially what you said was "Teh gurls have it better then teh guys, tehy can get any guy at any time. Wahhh wahhh"

 

 

 

Well it does make me feel somewhat better talking about it, but when the reality dawns on me I realise suicide is the only way out, wanted a final discussion about it outside of my head.

 

It is? Suicide is the only way out? This is what I was talking about. Speaking of suicide makes it sound like you really don't want to kill yourself but are just using it as a way to gain attention. Even so there is another way out, live with your situation and talk to a counselor about your depression. Only you can get yourself out of your deep pit of depression. No one else can do that for you.

 

Actually I came off very slowly over a period of a year I requested it from the doctor. This is when I woke up to the realities in my life not being a drugged out zombie. All my friends are married or getting married around me, no one is messing around with young 20s girls, they all did that already, same for the girls.

 

Big fat harry deal! Are they living your life for you? No? Then why are you getting depressed over something like that? Why not use your social network of friends and their spouses to hook you up with someone? Why not remain single and just live your life to the fullest while being single? I am single myself and I will never date again. At one time it bothered me but I learned to just simply accept it and move on with my life by enjoying the simple things that life has to offer. However, if after reading my post as well as the posts of others you still feel that suicide is your only option then perhaps it is time you call 1.800.273.TALK (8255) and then check yourself into a mental hospital.

[KaliLove]

how common is it for young women like that to be attracted to older men?

 

When I was 22, I was dating a guy who was 37. I've only ever dated men who are older than me.

 

But regardless, what difference does it make how old a woman is? Why does it have to be a very young girl?

[EngnimaticResponse]

how common is it for young women like that to be attracted to older men?

 

More common then people here chose to believe. Aside from the older women that come here to complain about said men.

[SJC2008]

How was your relationship with your mother when growing up?

[KaliLove]

Well OP forgive me for saying this but I posted a thread similar to yours about me ranting about why its never too late for a girlfriend, relationship, me being jealous and envious at the vast majority people who were able to get their first relationship, lose their virginity in their teen years or early 20's, had all of these experiences before age 25, people say its wrong to compare yourself to others but I will admit I hate being different with a huge passion

 

I think most people who responded to you and who are responding to this OP just think that it's pointless to complain about the past instead of figuring out what to do in the future.

 

Yeah, it sucks that you're a late bloomer, but this attitude that you and the OP have is not going to help you achieve your goal of finding a partner. What will help is figuring out what your issues are and working on them.

[Scales]

When I was 22, I was dating a guy who was 37. I've only ever dated men who are older than me.

 

But regardless, what difference does it make how old a woman is? Why does it have to be a very young girl?

 

This.

 

OP you need to understand that 30's is the prime time for men to meet women. I'm not 30 yet but I'm really looking forward to it. It's all about how you wear it my friend. A confident 30(something) year old in decent shape with the right clothes can date nearly any woman. Age is not a factor here yet. You can't say "younger" girls don't go for you, but really it's just girls who have standards for social value regardless of age.

 

Now can we all put our hearts back in our chest for a minute and stop bullying the OP? This is a support forum, not a place where we goad people into killing themselves. He stated hes already been seeking help for depression for years and it hasn't helped him with women. Even if he managed to clear his depression up, it doesn't mean he would suddenly be swarmed by women. They are not necessarily related. Plenty of psycho depressed angry people out there finding relationships very easily.

 

OP I want you to go out and accomplish something for yourself. You feel like you are stuck in a pit with no way out because you aren't making progress. You need to find reasons to like who you are instead of beating yourself up. If you can appreciate something small that you have done instead of focusing on your failures, you will begin to appreciate yourself again and who you are. Once you can do that, it's all about convincing others to appreciate you and who you are the way you do. When you can do that, a girl will find you.

Edited July 15, 2014 by Scales

[Tomswrd]

This is the problem with quite a few people of today, they think they are entitled to just about everything in life. Face it, you are not entitled to even date let alone have a relationship. Face it, women and men have their own free wills and they can be attracted to whomever they want and they can choose whomever they want. If you don't like that then tough s***. Cry us a river, build a bridge, then get over it.

 

Really? With the rest of your posts you come across as a whiny child that throws a temper tantrum because you aren't getting your way. Essentially what you said was "Teh gurls have it better then teh guys, tehy can get any guy at any time. Wahhh wahhh"

 

Big fat harry deal! Are they living your life for you? No? Then why are you getting depressed over something like that? Why not use your social network of friends and their spouses to hook you up with someone? Why not remain single and just live your life to the fullest while being single? I am single myself and I will never date again. At one time it bothered me but I learned to just simply accept it and move on with my life by enjoying the simple things that life has to offer. However, if after reading my post as well as the posts of others you still feel that suicide is your only option then perhaps it is time you call 1.800.273.TALK (8255) and then check yourself into a mental hospital.

 

Thanks really helpful, only that I've had 10 years of counselling, cognitive behavioural therapy and cocktails of drugs already. I'm sick and tired of suffering.

 

It is? Suicide is the only way out? This is what I was talking about. Speaking of suicide makes it sound like you really don't want to kill yourself but are just using it as a way to gain attention. Even so there is another way out, live with your situation and talk to a counselor about your depression. Only you can get yourself out of your deep pit of depression. No one else can do that for you.

I do not drop suicide to get attention, it is how I feel. I have always challenged the suicide thoughts saying tomorrow will be better, guess what since 20 years of age its just got worse every year.

 

Lets drop the word entitlement. It is only natural to meet someone when you are younger, its normal, not an entitlement, it is standard, it is nature, if you missed it something is wrong with you, usually psychologically. I'm not sure I want to live without that period of my life.

 

When I was 22, I was dating a guy who was 37. I've only ever dated men who are older than me.

 

But regardless, what difference does it make how old a woman is? Why does it have to be a very young girl?

Well it shouldn't make a difference if I hadn't had missed out. I don't have any special requirement to go with younger girls, there are older women I find attractive, just that I missed the boat for one and not the other.

 

And don't worry. He's not going to do it. Contemplation is only one of the first steps. You know how many times I've thought about it? I can't hold up enough appendages. My ex-roommate informed me once. He tried (and failed or we wouldn't have met) three times to kill himself. He said you need to be in a particular state of mind to go through with it. I did not know what he meant. Untill I took that next step. I did not actually try anything since I was stuck at work, and by the end of my shift I had "come out of it". And it scared the heck out of me. I know without a doubt had I been alone at home, I would not be here now.

 

And that is how I know. The fact he is here talking about it. He's not ready. Not even close.

Quite right, I am certainly not going to do it talking on a forum about it, that would be pathetic. I have been contemplating it as you have said and I certainly wouldn't do it without a few months or a year between discussing something like it on a forum, it would be planned and followed through to the letter.

[Tomswrd]

This.

 

OP you need to understand that 30's is the prime time for men to meet women. I'm not 30 yet but I'm really looking forward to it. It's all about how you wear it my friend. A confident 30(something) year old in decent shape with the right clothes can date nearly any woman. Age is not a factor here yet. You can't say "younger" girls don't go for you, but really it's just girls who have standards for social value regardless of age.

 

Now can we all put our hearts back in our chest for a minute and stop bullying the OP? This is a support forum, not a place where we goad people into killing themselves. He stated hes already been seeking help for depression for years and it hasn't helped him with women. Even if he managed to clear his depression up, it doesn't mean he would suddenly be swarmed by women. They are not necessarily related. Plenty of psycho depressed angry people out there finding relationships very easily.

 

OP I want you to go out and accomplish something for yourself. You feel like you are stuck in a pit with no way out because you aren't making progress. You need to find reasons to like who you are instead of beating yourself up. If you can appreciate something small that you have done instead of focusing on your failures, you will begin to appreciate yourself again and who you are. Once you can do that, it's all about convincing others to appreciate you and who you are the way you do. When you can do that, a girl will find you.

 

My problem has always been experience and knowing how to interact with women, especially since I missed my formative years.

 

All the best women I know my age or a few years younger are all in serious relationships or getting married, so how I'm supposed to feel positive about being above 30 is beyond me.

 

You're supposed to be more attractive at 30 because you are experienced and have your life together, that is not applicable to me.

 

I think I've said too much already.. it's over, my life is ****ed, depression won...

Edited July 15, 2014 by Tomswrd

[molimo140]

Lets drop the word entitlement. It is only natural to meet someone when you are younger, its normal, not an entitlement, it is standard, it is nature, if you missed it something is wrong with you, usually psychologically. I'm not sure I want to live without that period of my life.

 

This is wildly, irrevocably false.

 

Everything you have said comes back to my main point which I have been trying to get you to acknowledge. You are the one who is in control of your own life. Just you. Another person cannot define you, cannot fix you, cannot bring you happiness which is real unless you put in the time to love yourself and be contented by your own life.

 

I'm not telling you to go out and try to find a soul mate (whatever that is, anyway..), I'm telling you to love yourself and to find a way to be happy with your own life.

 

What do you take passion in? What makes you feel alive? Everyone has something, even if it is some passing thought from childhood which may seem silly to you now, which they are passionate about. I encourage you to focus on that and focus less on feeling you "missed out" on something that society says you must have.

 

All I have seen you do in this thread is refute everything anyone has said to you. What is the point of asking for help and then being completely unwilling to take any of it to heart?

[Tomswrd]

This is wildly, irrevocably false.

 

Its not false. Put 10 20 year old girls and 10 21 year old guys in a confined room for 6 months and eventually everyone of them will pair. That is nature's way not society, unless you have psychological issues blocking normal sexual interaction. I've never had so many opportunities as I had at university for this very reason, squandered because of my mental health. If anything it becomes more difficult the older you get due to bad experiences etc. , failed relationships and women and men becoming jaded for whatever reason.

 

My women friends that are single at 30-31 all have "issues" from past boyfriends, because the best have already settled and/or are married.

 

Everything you have said comes back to my main point which I have been trying to get you to acknowledge. You are the one who is in control of your own life. Just you. Another person cannot define you, cannot fix you, cannot bring you happiness which is real unless you put in the time to love yourself and be contented by your own life.

 

I'm not telling you to go out and try to find a soul mate (whatever that is, anyway..), I'm telling you to love yourself and to find a way to be happy with your own life.

 

What do you take passion in? What makes you feel alive? Everyone has something, even if it is some passing thought from childhood which may seem silly to you now, which they are passionate about. I encourage you to focus on that and focus less on feeling you "missed out" on something that society says you must have.

 

All I have seen you do in this thread is refute everything anyone has said to you. What is the point of asking for help and then being completely unwilling to take any of it to heart?

 

Well I may do all these things but I still won't have the experiences young people do, it is not about someone else fixing you it is about enjoying a period of your life that is shared with another person, be it a one night stand or a long term relationship. Being young and experiencing what you should as a young person is a boat that sails once you hit 30 or even 28 I'd say, the rest is just middle aged life and yes sex is very important for both women and men especially at a young age.

 

Its not society that is telling me I missed out, it is nature, girls my age don't strike me as young, I do not look young.

 

You cannot turn back the clock, tell an 80 year old to experience what he should have at 20, its not possible because its over, same with a 30 year old.

 

I'm sorry for writing this thread, for everyone reading understand it was written at some of my lowest points, perhaps it has no place on such a forum.

 

I have missed out the book is closed and I don't think I can live with myself for it. I can never feel normal and go out with a 20 year old, or a 22 year old etc. etc. as much as I would have liked to.

 

Really important time in everyone's life, don't miss that boat, everyone around me passed that natural stage and are all getting married now.. That is nature, not society.. Flowers bloom in Spring and Summer not in Winter.

Edited July 15, 2014 by Tomswrd

[Allumere]

a) GO BACK ON YOUR MEDS!

b) Depression sucks as do all the other thousands of life altering health issues do so I am not making light of your situation. I can empathize but I will not pity you, that you don't need.

c) You need grief counseling! It is common for people to grieve things they never had or missed. Some people grieve not having a parent, some grieve not being able to get pregnant. Others grieve over lost opportunities. You are grieving having a health problem that from your perspective has had an impact on your ability to have a relationship during the years that many have that experience. You are very stuck in this grief cycle which is amplified by the depression.

d) I could talk til I am blue in the face but I know that the logic switch that would acknowledge I and the other posters are right on a lot of things you are experiencing is stuck at the moment. It happens. Just know, we aren't lying to you or trying to give you false hope. Some of us have some mileage. We have been bloody chewed up and spit out by life ten times to Sunday. Doors have slammed in our face. We have experienced rejection that is soul splitting. Life long dreams have been crushed, youth robbed, and said goodbye one too many times. Some have mental health issues, some have physical issues or chronic illnesses while others are caring for those that do. At some point we have all grieved something we didn't have or won't get the opportunity to experience but we are still here.

Edited July 16, 2014 by Allumere

[Tomswrd]

a) GO BACK ON YOUR MEDS!

b) Depression sucks as do all the other thousands of life altering health issues do so I am not making light of your situation. I can empathize but I will not pity you, that you don't need.

c) You need grief counseling! It is common for people to grieve things they never had or missed. Some people grieve not having a parent, some grieve not being able to get pregnant. Others grieve over lost opportunities. You are grieving having a health problem that from your perspective has had an impact on your ability to have a relationship during the years that many have that experience. You are very stuck in this grief cycle which is amplified by the depression.

d) I could talk til I am blue in the face but I know that the logic switch that would acknowledge I and the other posters are right on a lot of things you are experiencing is stuck at the moment. It happens. Just know, we aren't lying to you or trying to give you false hope. Some of us have some mileage. We have been bloody chewed up and spit out by life ten times to Sunday. Doors have slammed in our face. We have experienced rejection that is soul splitting. Life long dreams have been crushed, youth robbed, and said goodbye one too many times. Some have mental health issues, some have physical issues or chronic illnesses while others are caring for those that do. At some point we have all grieved something we didn't have or won't get the opportunity to experience but we are still here.

 

Thanks well I'm not after pity. I wanted to throw my thoughts out.

 

I've had enough counselling and enough drugs, part of my waking up to my reality and not being a zombie is being off the drugs..

 

love how you beat up, punched that bad boys lights out, i often feel like punching a girls boyfriend whom i'm jealous of, beating him up out of jealousy.

 

I was not jealous, although the girl he picked up was hot. He barged through me and said something insulting while dragging the girl along by the hand, I'd just had enough of these pricks, took it outside and floored him. I was suffering from a bout at the time so I was impressed I could hold myself in such a way.

 

He still took her home and I left without anyone..

[Do_The_Herp]

Date someone your own age. You cannot climb to the top of Everest (dating a 22 yr old girl) without first taking a few steps...

 

Why would a guy go for the lesser physically developed version of a girl, as opposed to the same girl in her late 20s when her body has matured and become curvier and thicker? I personally can't tell the difference between a girl in her late 20s who has taken care of herself, and a girl in her early 20s who is an earlier bloomer.

 

They're all the same to me, unless they look like obvious jailbait. lol

 

Me, I personally wouldn't care at my age if a girl was a few years older.. Although it'd be less than ideal for having a decent sized family early on without rushing things.

 

OP: Deal with your ****, and depression, before anything. Stop putting millions of people you've never met before on a pedestal, they're NOT that special. You're getting way too crazy over nothing..

[somedude81]

Tomswrd, I complely relate to what you're going through.

 

I've done poorly with women my entire life.

 

Strong feelings of depression and thoughts of suicide. Lots of therapy and I was even on medication for a while.

 

I hate my life, myself and the world

 

I didn't get my first girlfriend until I was 31 years old.

 

After years of putting myself in situations where I met women, I got lucky and a girl started to like me.

 

She was super cute and 20 years old. We only dated for six months because of her issues (past boyfriend), but while we were together it was heaven.

 

Don't let anybody give you grief for wanting a younger woman.

 

It's my goal to get another young girlfriend before the year is over. To accomplish that goal I will again be putting myself in situations where I'm surrounded by them, and I'm also going to really push myself to socialize more, flirt and ask them out. I'm also going to do the best I can to work on my appearance and be as attractive as possible.

[Tomswrd]

Tomswrd, I complely relate to what you're going through.

 

I've done poorly with women my entire life.

 

Strong feelings of depression and thoughts of suicide. Lots of therapy and I was even on medication for a while.

 

I hate my life, myself and the world

 

I didn't get my first girlfriend until I was 31 years old.

 

After years of putting myself in situations where I met women, I got lucky and a girl started to like me.

 

She was super cute and 20 years old. We only dated for six months because of her issues (past boyfriend), but while we were together it was heaven.

 

Don't let anybody give you grief for wanting a younger woman.

 

It's my goal to get another young girlfriend before the year is over. To accomplish that goal I will again be putting myself in situations where I'm surrounded by them, and I'm also going to really push myself to socialize more, flirt and ask them out. I'm also going to do the best I can to work on my appearance and be as attractive as possible.

 

Thanks for this post. I want to make it clear I don't specifically target very young girls. Even as a teenager I found 22-25 year olds attractive and more so than the girls my age at the time.

 

I just did not want to be the old perv hitting on younger girls I wanted the same rite of passage as everyone else.

 

Btw for those saying that it's society etc. saying we should be young and doing what young people do and you haven't missed out or you think your entitled etc. etc. Understand this, clinically if you still have not been in a meaningful relationship after 25, every year you are statistically higher and higher of developing chronic depression, and the stats are significant, i.e. the majority. (I will find and post the source)

This is a statistical fact, and probably the clearest indication that nature intends you to do this when you are young and not 60, because eventually nature and your mind will start screaming at you to get on with it.

 

I don't hate my life, I'm just sick of suffering and having wasted it because of it, I just can't seem to come to terms with the fact that in my opinion I can't naturally attract that younger age group anymore without actively specifically looking for it. Can't come to terms with the pieces I have left of my life, that's why I'm thinking of ending it, why live if you missed out on the best years of anyone's life, whats the point of settling for mediocrity or worse whatever you could get because you were too late in every department.

 

I also hope that you do attain your goal of meeting another younger woman, even if she is older 25 or whatever. Have you thought of looking at some PUA material? Not for being an areshole or picking up chicks left right and centre but just to help you land the one you'd actually like? For both of you really.

Edited July 16, 2014 by Tomswrd

[Big Blue Box]

Thanks really helpful, only that I've had 10 years of counselling, cognitive behavioural therapy and cocktails of drugs already. I'm sick and tired of suffering.

 

I do not drop suicide to get attention, it is how I feel. I have always challenged the suicide thoughts saying tomorrow will be better, guess what since 20 years of age its just got worse every year.

 

That is your problem, you are living in the past rather than *learning from the past to live in the present. You are now 30 and you are acting like a 5 year old. Grow up and get over the past before it destroys you. Also, I never said you brought up suicide to get attention. All I stated was you come across that way when you did bring it up and keep bringing it up. Suicide is not the only option, living and focusing on the future while learning from the past is the best way out.

 

Lets drop the word entitlement. It is only natural to meet someone when you are younger, its normal, not an entitlement, it is standard, it is nature, if you missed it something is wrong with you, usually psychologically. I'm not sure I want to live without that period of my life.

 

Hey, you were the one that stated "Everyone is entitled to a few experiences when they were younger, everyone." so you were the one that brought up entitlement. All I said that no one is entitled to anything

 

Btw for those saying that it's society etc. saying we should be young and doing what young people do and you haven't missed out or you think your entitled etc. etc. Understand this, clinically if you still have not been in a meaningful relationship after 25, every year you are statistically higher and higher of developing chronic depression, and the stats are significant, i.e. the majority. (I will find and post the source)

 

Again, you brought up the topic of entitlement so saying everyone is entitled to something implies you feel you are entitled to something. I used to think that way myself until I got my act together. I have never been in a relationship and overall I am doing great. You need to look beyond simple statistics and look as to why people are developing chronic depression. I imagine either they had depression that needs to be treated or they are living in the past much like you are.

 

This is a statistical fact, and probably the clearest indication that nature intends you to do this when you are young and not 60, because eventually nature and your mind will start screaming at you to get on with it.

 

That's odd, there are people that are perfectly fine with being single permanently.

 

I don't hate my life, I'm just sick of suffering and having wasted it because of it, I just can't seem to come to terms with the fact that in my opinion I can't naturally attract that younger age group anymore without actively specifically looking for it. Can't come to terms with the pieces I have left of my life, that's why I'm thinking of ending it, why live if you missed out on the best years of anyone's life, whats the point of settling for mediocrity or worse whatever you could get because you were too late in every department.

 

Then why the bloody hell are you even mentioning or thinking of suicide? If you don't hate your life focus on the positive aspects of your life, work on that and go from there. As time goes on your depression will eventually go away, especially when you talk to a therapist about your issues. Another place to look is your diet. Lack of certain nutrients can also contribute to depression.

 

Let's say for one moment you finally meet the woman of your dreams then you are her get along quite well. What is going to happen if you do not get your depression in check, especially when things go south? Trust me, it will from time to time. As Bret Michaels once said "Every rose has its thorns". What is she going to do when your depression rears its ugly head, especially towards her? How are you going to start acting around her at that time? I have an idea of what could happen, you may become clingy and overly obsessed with her. Eventually she may feel smothered and may eventually put you in the "friends only zone" then what? Will you end up stalking her? Will your suicidal thoughts lash outward towards her or others? I am not saying that will happen but it may happen. That is why several people are advising you to live towards the future rather than live in the past. Work on yourself rather than remain in self-pity. None of us are doing this to be hateful but to help you. We can only do so much; you need to go the rest of the distance. So get out there and experience life to its fullest and enjoy it.

[somedude81]

I have never been in a relationship

 

Some posts should be taken with a grain of salt.

[Big Blue Box]

Some posts should be taken with a grain of salt.

 

Really? Please explain what point or points you are trying to make.

[Tomswrd]

Then why the bloody hell are you even mentioning or thinking of suicide? If you don't hate your life focus on the positive aspects of your life, work on that and go from there. As time goes on your depression will eventually go away, especially when you talk to a therapist about your issues. Another place to look is your diet. Lack of certain nutrients can also contribute to depression.

 

Let's say for one moment you finally meet the woman of your dreams then you are her get along quite well. What is going to happen if you do not get your depression in check, especially when things go south? Trust me, it will from time to time. As Bret Michaels once said "Every rose has its thorns". What is she going to do when your depression rears its ugly head, especially towards her? How are you going to start acting around her at that time? I have an idea of what could happen, you may become clingy and overly obsessed with her. Eventually she may feel smothered and may eventually put you in the "friends only zone" then what? Will you end up stalking her? Will your suicidal thoughts lash outward towards her or others? I am not saying that will happen but it may happen. That is why several people are advising you to live towards the future rather than live in the past. Work on yourself rather than remain in self-pity. None of us are doing this to be hateful but to help you. We can only do so much; you need to go the rest of the distance. So get out there and experience life to its fullest and enjoy it.

 

Big blue box, if you had read through the thread you would see that it was not me who brought the phrase or idea of entitlement.

 

I do not want to meet the woman of my dreams for exactly the reason you have posted.

 

The reason I would get clingy or obsessed or depressed or other, would only be because of my lack of experience and the fact that I should have had the same experiences all my peers around me had, don't tell me it's normal to be 31 and never had a meaningfull "experience" let alone "relationship" with a member of the opposite sex, its not normal and a red flag in psychiatry after 25, this is a statistical fact.

 

Given I am so out of time with catching up, I will always be conscious of that, unlike other people who did what was normal at the age and time you were supposed to do it. If you disagree with me on this, tell me a 60 year old can comfortably go out and start dating 20 year olds. Tell me that all the girls and friends around me are not getting or are not already married.

 

There is no way to resolve this issue now it is a fait accompli. There are 21 year olds with more experience than I, and they will not have these problems at 31 because they will have done what every normal person on this planet does and then settle down.

 

You keep bringing up therapy as an answer. I have had it for nearly 10 years on and off and I am still not better, I have been on very high doses of medication, all they did was make me a zombie and let the years slip by faster.