Threesome & Sugar Babby Delima!

[curtsnokc]

Ok so I told my wife of 18 years that my main fantasy was a 3some and even more so seeing her w/ another woman. Meaning that I promised to only have sex w/ my wife during the threesome and frankly I was serious. I would prefer to see them go at it anyways.

 

She said "sure" and but went back and forth a few days regretting it but now feels its too late to go backwards and wants to do it for me.

 

Now we have found one nice lady locally on a SugarDaddy website willing to do this. (for $)

 

I meet and screened her too - divorced and says not even Bi but craves a woman from time to time. (she also has a profile on a free dating website that is looking for girls to be friends with or more) She also is looking for more than just sex but a companion too to go do nails with or something she says.

 

I thought this would be great and allow my wife a chance to get comfortable and them hang out too.

 

So we are in the interview process now were my wife is meeting w/ her at her home tomorrow for 2nd time (first time was at bar for 1 hour and nothing much was accomplished except just breaking the ice) to ask a lot of questions about how this works and arrangment details.

 

I told the woman to mainly talk/text w/ my wife to get this done so my wife wouldnt get jealous of me talking to this woman.

 

But last 2 days this woman is acting like a bitch to me and I know she is more into my wife for this anyways because she told me how hot she was.

 

Originally, I thought about letting them 2 go at it ALONE as long as I got some pics or videos but the 2nd girl said no to that.

 

She also texted my wife that she prefers to be w/ one woman or one man and threesomes are awkward. And asked her if she has ever been with a woman alone before.

 

So, my questions are....

 

1) Should me and wife have a rule that neither is alone with her?

2) I am wanting to save as much money as I can on this deal too so is there a way to use the 2nd girls desire for my wife as leverage maybe?

3) My wife is worried about me getting to close to the 2nd woman but it seems I should be just as concerned about her getting to attached to my wife or wife falling for her ( I dont see happening this since my wife is straight but never know)?

 

If the 2nd girl was open to getting video/pics I was going to suggest letting them go at it alone. Is this smart or dumb?

 

Ideas anyone?

[pteromom]

Ummmmm... you are setting your relationship up to fail.

 

This whole idea is dumb.

 

Sounds like the 2nd woman is acting bitchy toward you because she is forming a friendship with your wife, and your wife has told her that she doesn't really want to do this but feels she has to in order to make you happy.

 

But - if you want to go ahead with this anyway...

 

Since you have agreed not to touch the 2nd woman, you probably just want to watch, and let them "go at it".

 

Hopefully it lives up to your fantasies, and afterward, you don't have regrets or guilt or bad feelings about your wife. Search for "threesome" on LS, and you'll see some examples of how scenarios like this went horribly wrong.

[curtsnokc]

Thanks for feedback! Yes I have read many of those which is why I posted this. I think I am having cold feet already LOL.

 

However - I have read some that work out too so...

 

Just not sure it's worth the risk.

[jphcbpa]

perhaps this should just remain a fantasy that you and your wife could talk about and just pretend

[tlegend]

The fact that you are even pursuing this after what has come to light with this other woman shows how badly you do want this.

 

That being said, you should seriously consider the consequences of this situation. You have mentioned you do not want this to cause turmoil in your relationship. It seems like this particular woman is doing just that.

 

If you truly feel like this needs to happen for your relationship and and to fulfill a fantasy, I suggest you find another woman. One who respects your marriage, understands she is the other woman, and does not put an unnecessary strain on the relationship.

 

Most of these situations that you have read about that have gone horribly wrong is because 1) The people weren't really ready / into something like that, 2) The other woman/man did not respect the boundaries of the marriage / relationship and/or 3) The person wasn't truly in love with their SO and was trying to just get some ass the "politically correct" way, not fulfill a fantasy with a loved one.

[pteromom]

Thanks for feedback! Yes I have read many of those which is why I posted this. I think I am having cold feet already LOL.

 

However - I have read some that work out too so...

 

Just not sure it's worth the risk.

 

Me either.

 

I think you are letting a certain part of you take control of your feelings about this, and when you are on the other side of it, your heart and mind, which were along for the ride, are going to catch up and you are going to have some major sh*t to work through.

 

Sometimes fantasies are best left fantasies.

 

There are ways you can incorporate this fantasy into your sex life without bringing someone else in. Watch porn together. Sext each other with you pretending to be another woman. Go to a strip club and have your wife get a lap dance.

 

I know it isn't the same thing as watching it in person. I get that. But it also doesn't come with the same risks.

[curtsnokc]

The fact that you are even pursuing this after what has come to light with this other woman shows how badly you do want this.

 

That being said, you should seriously consider the consequences of this situation. You have mentioned you do not want this to cause turmoil in your relationship. It seems like this particular woman is doing just that.

 

If you truly feel like this needs to happen for your relationship and and to fulfill a fantasy, I suggest you find another woman. One who respects your marriage, understands she is the other woman, and does not put an unnecessary strain on the relationship.

 

Most of these situations that you have read about that have gone horribly wrong is because 1) The people weren't really ready / into something like that, 2) The other woman/man did not respect the boundaries of the marriage / relationship and/or 3) The person wasn't truly in love with their SO and was trying to just get some ass the "politically correct" way, not fulfill a fantasy with a loved one.

 

Yes, we do the videos now and even 1 year ago she would have never agreed or done this! So, we are way ahead. I will act like a woman and different fantasy stuff and our sex is so much more fun now. I might do this and back off my wife so if she does do this, it was more like on her own time and not just feeling pressured into it for me. thanks for advice!

[almond]

She said "sure" and but went back and forth a few days regretting it but now feels its too late to go backwards and wants to do it for me.

 

She should not feel this way. And you absolutely should not go through with this, knowing that she does. She has expressed that she regretted her initial acceptance of the idea, and is now only continuing because she feels as though she has to for you. Does this not concern you?

 

I think you need to take a minute, step back, and think about things.

 

Work on your relationship - this is not the time to involve another woman. Get to the point where your wife does not feel as though she needs to **** a stranger that she doesn't want to, just to please you, and then maybe consider something like this.

 

Threesomes can put a strain on even the strongest of relationships, and when both partners are eager participants. Going through with this in your situation is just silly.

[Keenly]

First this woman said she was willing to do this for money, then she said she wasn't.

 

 

 

This is a business transaction, there is no room for "being a bitch" . This is not about her, its about you and your wife.

[pteromom]

Yes, we do the videos now and even 1 year ago she would have never agreed or done this! So, we are way ahead. I will act like a woman and different fantasy stuff and our sex is so much more fun now.

 

Sounds to me like you are a very lucky guy who has an open and experimental woman. Maybe doing something that could lead to losing her isn't the best idea.

 

It's probably good to not let anyone else find out how awesome she is. LOL

[curtsnokc]

First this woman said she was willing to do this for money, then she said she wasn't.

 

 

 

This is a business transaction, there is no room for "being a bitch" . This is not about her, its about you and your wife.

 

It's almost like the 2nd woman should have her own Sugar daddy profile looking for a female companion! LOL

 

I told her I do the finances too so WTH? Who she think is going to pay for it =)

[curtsnokc]

Sounds to me like you are a very lucky guy who has an open and experimental woman. Maybe doing something that could lead to losing her isn't the best idea.

 

It's probably good to not let anyone else find out how awesome she is. LOL

 

I do have a great and beatutiful wife for sure. In last week however, she is not as nervous about this and almost acts like she wants to go meet her a 2nd time to get some questions resolved. I almost feel that if I said no, she would still go because she would WANT to versus being forced to.

Now, I have told her over and over last few weeks we can stop this at any time but she is scared to because our sex life (her orgasims every night) and our relationship seems closer since we are able to talk about our fantasies out in the open. Tricky....

Edited November 6, 2013 by curtsnokc

[almond]

In last week however, she is not as nervous about this and almost acts like she wants to go meet her a 2nd time

 

Lol, you've got to be kidding? Right?

 

How about: "you're my wife and I love you, and I would never allow you to do something like this unless you were 100% comfortable with doing so. Let's put this on hold, and revisit it somewhere down the line if you are happy to."

 

I'm guessing this is all falling upon deaf ears.

 

Enjoy your threesome.

 

I feel for your wife.

[Grumpybutfun]

This is like watching a train getting ready to crash into another train and not being able to do much to stop it. I have never seen where a threesome after marriage leads to anything but heartbreak or home wrecking for all parties involved. I know 8 couples who tried this with their supposedly strong marriages and all 8 are divorced now.

 

Honestly, threesomes as a fantasy is much better.

 

I wouldn't share my wife with anyone. Men who believe that women cannot form attachments because they aren't lesbians do not understand the intricacies of sex for women. Every one of the guys who had a threesome after marriage that I know of lost their wife to the other woman they recruited. Every. Single. One. 8/8

 

Don't do it,

Grumps

Edited November 6, 2013 by Grumpybutfun

[curtsnokc]

This is like watching a train getting ready to crash into another train and not being able to do much to stop it. I have never seen where a threesome after marriage leads to anything but heartbreak or home wrecking for all parties involved. I know 8 couples who tried this with their supposedly strong marriages and all 8 are divorced now.

 

Honestly, threesomes as a fantasy is much better.

 

I wouldn't share my wife with anyone. Men who believe that women cannot form attachments because they aren't lesbians do not understand the intricacies of sex for women. Every one of the guys who had a threesome after marriage that I know of lost their wife to the other woman they recruited. Every. Single. One. 8/8

 

Don't do it,

Grumps

 

Wow - 8 for 8 huh. Do you know if these women had the idea to do the threesome or if it was the husbands idea? It was my idea and my wife said this has never crossed her mind before or imagined herself doing this. Just hard to imagine a straight woman age 39 that never wanted to be w/ another woman could leave their husband and kids like over something they never desired before!

[Grumpybutfun]

Wow - 8 for 8 huh. Do you know if these women had the idea to do the threesome or if it was the husbands idea? It was my idea and my wife said this has never crossed her mind before or imagined herself doing this. Just hard to imagine a straight woman age 39 that never wanted to be w/ another woman could leave their husband and kids like over something they never desired before!

 

Yes, all 8 times it was proposed by the husband.

[curtsnokc]

Lol, you've got to be kidding? Right?

 

How about: "you're my wife and I love you, and I would never allow you to do something like this unless you were 100% comfortable with doing so. Let's put this on hold, and revisit it somewhere down the line if you are happy to."

 

I'm guessing this is all falling upon deaf ears.

 

Enjoy your threesome.

 

I feel for your wife.

 

Actually you guys are helping a lot. As of right now, I am leaning 80% toward telling her tomorrow something just like you wrote above and let's wait til she is ready some day...But frankly the other issue is even if she was ready, do I still want to considering the # of woman that get attached to the 2nd woman!?

[curtsnokc]

Yes, all 8 times it was proposed by the husband.

 

Wow. thats nuts

[almond]

Actually you guys are helping a lot. As of right now, I am leaning 80% toward telling her tomorrow something just like you wrote above and let's wait til she is ready some day...But frankly the other issue is even if she was ready, do I still want to considering the # of woman that get attached to the 2nd woman!?

 

This might sound crazy to you, but have you thought of perhaps considering your wife at all? Maybe even taking her feelings into account a bit?

[Grumpybutfun]

I don't know the particular details of four of them as they were acquaintances, but four were actually colleagues or friends. Each time the wife formed an emotional bond with the other woman who was not a lesbian either and the man didn't stand a chance against the emotional bonding. One of the women told my wife that she felt pressured to have the threesome because her husband was very set on it and yet pretended it didn't bother her, and the woman was very sympathetic to her in private. She felt cheap and degraded.

Yes, I just asked my wife and none of the four we knew well has gotten back together.

Be mindful of the consequences of messing with your nice marriage for a fantasy. I have had threesomes before marriage and the actual act is never as good as in your head and how porn portrays it. Not even on my top ten of best sex before marriage.

Best,

Grumps

[curtsnokc]

This is like watching a train getting ready to crash into another train and not being able to do much to stop it. I have never seen where a threesome after marriage leads to anything but heartbreak or home wrecking for all parties involved. I know 8 couples who tried this with their supposedly strong marriages and all 8 are divorced now.

 

Honestly, threesomes as a fantasy is much better.

 

I wouldn't share my wife with anyone. Men who believe that women cannot form attachments because they aren't lesbians do not understand the intricacies of sex for women. Every one of the guys who had a threesome after marriage that I know of lost their wife to the other woman they recruited. Every. Single. One. 8/8

 

Don't do it,

Grumps

 

The 2nd woman from the sugardaddy website said that a requirement of hers is that they can hang out too and be friends so that its not like an escort and she wants a companion too. I was thinking that IF we did this, a rule me and wife should have is that neither one of us should be alone w her. Only all 3 or not at all. So you know if these other 8 you know were letting the woman hang out together?

[Chi townD]

If this is real, then you need to put a stop to it NOW!!! Having a fantasy is one thing, but when you make a fantasy involving a 3rd party, that's when people get hurt.

 

Right now, you're losing. You're losing your wife. This other woman is talking to her. Telling her that you really don't love her. I mean, how could you? You were willing to pawn her off sexually to someone else? Is that love? And do you know what? That's going to start to make sense to her. And this woman is going to start to tell her things that she wants to hear. That she would never do something like that to her...blah...blah....

 

Your wife will start to form a deep emotional bond with this person and as soon as it goes physical, you're done. You might as well break out the divorce papers.

[Grumpybutfun]

The 2nd woman from the sugardaddy website said that a requirement of hers is that they can hang out too and be friends so that its not like an escort and she wants a companion too. I was thinking that IF we did this, a rule me and wife should have is that neither one of us should be alone w her. Only all 3 or not at all. So you know if these other 8 you know were letting the woman hang out together?

 

No idea.

The thing with rules, imo, is that you can only enforce them while she still gives a crap what you think. If she finds comfort with this other woman about your problems or your inattentive nature or how you do not respect your marriage vows because you pimped her out so easily for YOUR fantasy...well, you can forbid her to be alone all you want to and it won't matter.

See you on the infidelity forum soon.

Good luck,

Grumps

[curtsnokc]

Thanks to guys I just called my wife and said not to meet her tomorrow.

I booked a nice cabin in the woods for JUST THE 2 OF US as a surprise =)

 

Thanks again everyone on here for your advice!!

[tlegend]

I do have a great and beatutiful wife for sure. In last week however, she is not as nervous about this and almost acts like she wants to go meet her a 2nd time to get some questions resolved. I almost feel that if I said no, she would still go because she would WANT to versus being forced to.

Now, I have told her over and over last few weeks we can stop this at any time but she is scared to because our sex life (her orgasims every night) and our relationship seems closer since we are able to talk about our fantasies out in the open. Tricky....

 

There's an old movie about this. The man gently manipulates his woman into getting a threesome. Once that happens, however, it becomes apparent she is REALLY into it and starts doing it all the time. In the end, the guy regretted getting his wife to do a threesome with another woman, and it leaves the viewer with a sly woman asking the man about how it would be good for them to add another man to the bedroom.

 

EDIT: Link to movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0159730/?ref_=nv_sr_1

 

Moral of the story: Be careful what you wish for.

Edited November 6, 2013 by tlegend
movie poster link