OMG what have I done for all this mess to happen? Help please

[EC]

So as some of you know my mom is nuts and my bf said he needed a break from me yesterday.

 

Basically he broke up with me.

 

I was dying inside and then I found out that the money I was giving my mother to pay my credit cards bill she was using on herself and never paid my bill so I have racked up 1,689.56 dollars. I confronted her about it right after work in the car ride home and she burst into tears. Saying she needed the money for food for my brother and I and all this stuff and whatever. I stayed quiet the rest of the ride and before we get out of the car she tells me please my bf is coming over dont make a scene we will discuss this later.

 

So Im miserable and I call my roommate who is my bf's brothers gf and tell her what happened. She's upset we decide I'm moving out sooner and that I have to close that card and open up a new bank account because the one I have now is connected with my mothers. Well she tells my Xbf and he gets really upset and calls me. He says he loves me and is coming over to tell my mom off. I said no Its my issue and its not your place if you come its to comfort me and thats it.

 

So he shows up right when my mother is getting out of the car with he bf and she says hey and he walked right by her into the house. Im in her bedroom and he walks in and hugs me and my mother walks in a minute behind and she says hey you didnt see me outside and he turns and says dont f*cking talk to me.

She said excuse me and he goes you heard me and so I grab hi and start running out of the house and he starts calling her an idiot and an unfit mother.

I get outside and scream how could you and that that wasnt his place and wtf. And he says I love you and I dont want a break but i dont want anything to do with your mom. i dont want to see or hear her or be in the same room with her. I said then this isn't going to work and you need to go and apologize to her. He refused and I started crying.

Fast forward we talked it out and then he left home and I went to sleep. This morning my mother had to take me to work and she was crying and saying shes a single mom,w/ no education and no one to help her and she had me at 18 and shes just doing the best she can. And that shes not even mad at him anymore but scared at his behavior and attitude and that I need to be careful because he looked like the type to hit a woman and she fears for me. (shes not the first to tell me this)

ANd the way I saw him yesterday really turned me off. I know my mother did me wrong but it wasn't his place. It was very disrespectful. So I'm still really mad at him, I'm confused about the break, my mother hates him now and him her...and his parents are rich and so now they were all talking about me yesterday and I feel like a f*cking charity case and I feel like they are telling him I told you so shes no good.

I love him but I dont agree with what he did or what he does sometimes and God I have never been so confused in my freaking life.

[HokeyReligions]

You have a lot of drama in your life. Maybe you could get your life in order the way you want if you find your own place and cut ties with non-relatives (xbf, xroommate, etc.) and keep some distance between you and your mother for a while.

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

Originally posted by HokeyReligions

You have a lot of drama in your life. Maybe you could get your life in order the way you want if you find your own place and cut ties with non-relatives (xbf, xroommate, etc.) and keep some distance between you and your mother for a while.

 

Absolutely!

EC, my mother used my SS# to get a car, a house and credit cards before i was even 18!. (might I add...she didnt pay the car, mortgage and credit card off so i have horrible credit now) She messed up by my life and i haven't spoken to her in about a month (for other reasons as well) I think you should be by yourself right now. Meet new people, and just clear your mind of all this stress. Your to young to be thinking about all this. Rent some porn and have a beer and just chill out. Pamper yourself, you deserve it!

[Merin]

EC.. First let me tell you how sorry I am sister..

 

Next.. You know.. I have zero idea really of whats going on in your BF's mind.. if he just got scared, or if the Distance has made him question what he's doing...

 

LDRelationships suck ass! LOL You know I've been there girl.. they are harder in a lot of ways than the one that has to be maintained when the person is right there.

 

Regarding your Mom.. what she did isn't right, regardless of how she reasons it.. K enough said on that. Your BF's reaction to her.. while again.. not right.. in some ways (even in light of whats happend) well let's just say.. I can see how someone could get upset to the point of anger and not being rational when someone they care about has been sh*t on.. again EC.. doesn't make it right..

 

At this point sister.. I really think moving will be a great step for you in the right direction.. try to look at it as the next lesson you know? Nothing bad.. just life experience.

 

I know it all seems sh*tty right now EC.. and it's confusing. Time will reveal the whys.. and the where to go from here.

 

Hang in there;)

[alphamale]

you LOVE the drama don't you?

[NiCoLe20]

yep i went to get a loan on my car and when they ran my ss...turns out my mom used it and i had $8,000 maxed out on one card!!! i dont even have a credit card just a debit...but it shows shes paying it but i couldnt get a loan under my name which i wanted...i had to have my dad cosign....but EC... that situation sucks...they were both wrong and u were just caught up in the middle...if u talk to ur man again just tell him u realize he was sticking up for you but he didnt have to curse and disrespect ur mom...see what happens...you need a vacation!! move out start saving money and help out ur mom here n there...instead of giving her money come home w/ groceries so u know what ur money is being spent on u know... well goo dluck ttyl lol bye girl

[tattoomytoe]

can't you take your mother to cival court for this? the steakling of your ssn, and stealing......you should...set her straight.

[Naive]

It's obvious your mom f*cked up but it was not your ex/bf's place to talk to her the way he did. He owes her respect because she is older than him and above all she is your mother!!!!!!!!!! You are not going to stay mad with her forever and once you make up he is going to be in a akward position. The problem is between you and your mother, he is not your husband and it is not his credit. He owes your mom respect.

[EC]

MALE I don't love the drama I hate in fact. I hate being the center of attention believe it or not and I hate drama period. If you had read my other posts I am likemy family mediator. I like to solve it before it turns into drama and yet now the drama is around me.

 

Thanx for the advice guys. One more week and I move out.

 

I already told my bf he was wrong and yet he doesn't think he did anything wrong, he refuses to apologize and his excuse is he loves me and stuck up for me because I wasn't doing it.

 

I just really want a break from everybody. I don't want to talk to my mother, I don't want to talk to my bf, I don't weant to be surrounded by all of the people that are bringing me drama.

 

I like simplicity. Thats when I m happy. Right now I am miserable and just so confused. I want to just disappear.

 

My mother is in serious debt already and so I have to little by little pay off the card and there goes my new bedroom set. I will have to sleep on an air matress for a while But I will manage.

 

I will eat cereal for months if I have to and become a stronger person. As for my bf I don't even know what is going on and now when my mother and I fix this like Naive said he will be the one in an awkward position which is why I told him to apologize right away and he refused. Thats something in his character that I don't like and well I'm debating just telling him that I want my space for a while to clear my mind. And I really do want space...I love him to death but just talking to him right now is driving me crazy. I need a break. But how do I tell him? Just like I just wrote it huh???

 

Thank you guys again for listening. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

[Debster]

I got to admit - you have a lot you have to deal with right now.

 

First off, you are a very strong person and from what I've read of your posts you seem to be very caring and considerate. However, I think you may put your trust and faith in people who are not deserving. Yes, your mom is your mom and she deserves respect. However, what she did to you was horrible. She is putting pressure on you to take care of her, and your brother at about the same age she was when she had you. She has made horrible choices in life and is trying to milk her 'disadvantages' for all she can instead of doing something about it. She has gotta get off her but and do something with her life and she is not going to do it when she has you there to constantly pick up the pieces. Sometimes tough love is called for.

 

I'm sorry if this seems harsh.