Sweetz Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 you find out that his wife is pregnant and you don't feel anything about the news: not jealous, not hurt, not happy, not excited, not sad, just as if the neighbor down the street you don't know told you the same news. It's easy to keep a straight face about the whole thing now because my feelings have died and that's that. I have a strong feeling he didn't want this to happen. Man, it's good to be out of the drama and watch it from a sideline. I just found it weird he emailed me yesterday even after his wife is pregnant. Man, what a creep! Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 How did your husband take the news about his email to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 16, 2004 Author Share Posted December 16, 2004 I came home and before we had dinner I told him I had to tell him something but it was only because I wanted him to know that I didn't want to keep ANYTHING from him, no more secrets. I then told him that the OM emailed me. He asked me what the email said. I said that I deleted it and didn't read it. He asked why he was still emailing me. I said I didn't know. I told him that I was done with the OM when I confessed the affair to my H. He asked if the OM had called me on the phone and I answered no. He said that if I get anymore emails, just to delete them and do not read them, but tell him about them. He's hoping that the OM will get the hint and leave me alone. My H said he didnt' want to make a big scene out of this, said the OM is a a-hole for doing this, and that was it. He was clearly upset about it, but didn't get uncontrollably mad about it. I feel I did the right thing based on his reaction and how he took it. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 You did the right thing. Now that you are living your life honestly and are recommitting to your H, what the OM does from now on is not your fault. Well done. Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Yup, you did the right thing. Your husband can handle it. He won't like it, but it shifts things. he gets to make a decision about some of the fallout fromm your infidelity. The OM is an idiot. You can see that now. There is strength in that realization. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 16, 2004 Author Share Posted December 16, 2004 Originally posted by michelangelo The OM is an idiot. You can see that now. There is strength in that realization. You better believe it! Since my confession and recommitment back to my H, I can not tell you how alive and happy I feel about doing the right thing. When you live your life a lie for so long, it just becomes what you feel is normal to you. Not until you leave that to the side and come back to reality do you understand what true happiness and fulfillment is. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Not living a lie anymore has to be a huge relief. And, you've got the person who REALLY mattered working with you, and you know it. Before, you felt as if you and your husbands were on different sides, with the OM in the middle. Now, you feel as though its you AND your husband against the OM, yes? Must feel pretty good for you friend....keep up the awesome work. In some ways seeing you happy has made me feel a little better. I'm still hurting from what I've gone through, and there have been some setbacks in our healing as well, so its nice to see that things have gone well for you. And since you seem to credit me a little with having helped you make a decision, I guess I can feel that at least one good thing has come out of the hell I've gone through...maybe I've helped someone else in some small, little way. Keep it up lady!! You're doing awesome! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 16, 2004 Author Share Posted December 16, 2004 Originally posted by Owl Not living a lie anymore has to be a huge relief. And, you've got the person who REALLY mattered working with you, and you know it. Before, you felt as if you and your husbands were on different sides, with the OM in the middle. Now, you feel as though its you AND your husband against the OM, yes? Must feel pretty good for you friend....keep up the awesome work. In some ways seeing you happy has made me feel a little better. I'm still hurting from what I've gone through, and there have been some setbacks in our healing as well, so its nice to see that things have gone well for you. And since you seem to credit me a little with having helped you make a decision, I guess I can feel that at least one good thing has come out of the hell I've gone through...maybe I've helped someone else in some small, little way. Keep it up lady!! You're doing awesome! Owl, you hit the nail right on the head. That is the situation as I see it exactly! It's me and the H as a duo now in everything and anything we do. I wouldn't want it any other way. And yes, it feels great! By letting the truth out, it has allowed him to step up to the plate and meet the needs of mine that I always felt he was not capable of. But when I look back now, I realize how much I myself personally contributed to him not being able to meet my needs. And yes, Owl, it's no secret that I feel there were several things that you told me that really pushed me into living up to my responsibilities and coming out with the truth. And no, I don't credit you a little. I credit you a lot! Like I said when I first signed up at LS, it was just out of mere curiosity. I never thought that reading some post would actually make me sit back and realize what I had done, to what extent I had gone through to deceive the one person I needed to love and trust more than anyone else. It made me sick to my stomach to think I was that evil. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 After me and "L" broke up (we were together before he got married) he got someone pregnant and when I found out I did not feel anything, I was like "OH. OK". I loved him a lot and that made me snap out of it. Some time after I fell back in love After my reaction I did not think it was possible, but it was. I took it well. Not a tear, not one bad thought. But somehow I was back in love a year after.... I just thought I would share this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 16, 2004 Author Share Posted December 16, 2004 Originally posted by naive_2001 After me and "L" broke up (we were together before he got married) he got someone pregnant and when I found out I did not feel anything, I was like "OH. OK". I loved him a lot and that made me snap out of it. Some time after I fell back in love After my reaction I did not think it was possible, but it was. I took it well. Not a tear, not one bad thought. But somehow I was back in love a year after.... I just thought I would share this. Were you married to him? Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 No we were bf/gf for a while and we have known each other since we were children. Link to post Share on other sites
Joyce Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Hi Sweetz, I think it's great that you have grown and changed so much. I love reading your posts. They give me a lot of inspiration and hope. A positive outlook and set of mind is the key to true happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 16, 2004 Author Share Posted December 16, 2004 A clear conscious is priceless, I tell ya! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 16, 2004 Author Share Posted December 16, 2004 Ok is it conscious or conscience? Whatever it is, mine's clear! Link to post Share on other sites
Joyce Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 A clear conscious is priceless, I tell ya! It sure is. I still feel terrible for what I did I can't imagine how I would feel if I didn't have a clear conscience. I can't understand people that say they want to work on their marriage but yet they don't want to be honest. Anyway it's good to hear you are doing so well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted December 16, 2004 Author Share Posted December 16, 2004 Thanks Joyce. It is still one day at a time for both of us, but we are both working towards the same goal now so it makes it much easier now that we are on the same team. I know this journey has just begun but I do like the direction that it is going in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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