WhereSpiritsRoam Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 Originally posted by ion Confidence. Yes that's a good one as someone mentioned previously. Confidence is important, but forced confidence has some serious side effects. Guys who act in control often lack a handle on the issues in their own lives, and they end up transposing this onto the other person in the relationship. I've seen many girls flock to guys who appeared confident, even cocky, but then see those partnerships flounder when the "true guy" comes out. People can only put up fronts for so long, so it's better to build genuine confidence instead of faking it and hoping that you will acquire such later down the line. I don't believe nice guys finish last. They just have to work harder to hold onto first. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 You are what you are. That's it. fxxk the classification system. And who gives a shxt whether you're nice or mean or simply numb to everyone around you? If you can't live and learn, then fxxk it. This is so fxxk.ing trivial. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Oh westerner. If you think this one's bad, wait until the next round of 'is my penis too small' and 'am I pregnant' threads. They tend to come in spurts, if you'll pardon the allusion. Link to post Share on other sites
Tameson Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 For women who are puzzled at why nice guys dump girls Why nice guys finish last? I am a nice guy and my girl saw that in me and grabbed me promising me she would not let me go. So the question is, why did I dump her? Yes I was truely in love with her and she still is in me to this day. Being that nice guy is similar for girls who are caring and sensitive. When a guy gives all that he has, returns every phone call, every message, is always there for you , he is not playing Mr. Doormat for you. He is just seeing if you, the girl, is worth to be with. If she treats him badly, then that is a big sign for the guy that his girl is the type that wants more and more. Why don't you girls show a little appreciation for nice guys? You think nice guys don't know that jack@sses exist out there? They know perfectly well. And they know that their niceness is not to go to waste on some girl that does appreciate them. Since there is a lack of good hearted women out there these days, then nice guys do finish last since they rather be happier with a girl who they will be happy with, than a girl who is there for them when the money is there. Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Tameson, please continue to wallow in self-pity and attribute your weakness and your lack of spine to selfish cruel women. Contribute your failure to maintain a happy relationship with your ex-girlfriend to her egoism and do not look for other reasons why it didn't work out. This way you will surely find the perfect girlfriend. People are never just helpless victims in a relationship. Those who stay for too long and in the end complain had always the possibility to leave. Your bitterness stems from not wanting to see that you yourself chose your misery. Frustration as a consequence of trying and failing is understandable, but all this bitterness about so-called greedy and ungrateful women only indicates unfulfilled expactations and the assumption that one has certain rights in life. You can try and hope that someone will change with time, but you should know that human beings have the right to do what they want and if you can't live with them, you should leave. Link to post Share on other sites
gridiron Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Great post kooky! Maybe we should schedule a convention for "There are no good men left" women and "Women don't want nice guys" guys to meet. I bet the number of matches that hit it off would be ZERO. In fact, the victim mentality both factions have would probably just stregthen the doom and gloom they see in their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
newby Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 The problem with "nice guys" - Comments please Post: 1 | Quote: Nice guys just don't turn women on. Why? There are lots of reasons. But let's start with the basics. They're just not exciting. Have you heard the country song, "Ladies love outlaws"? Most women are attracted to a little bit of danger. Plus, in order to have the "in love" feeling, a woman has to have her love returned somewhat, but not altogether, and yet she has to have hope of having it returned altogether in the future. Women need the excitement that makes her wonder, "Will he call or won't he?" Don't become too predictable. Yes, nice guys often finish last. Maybe it's because there's no challenge. Maybe it's because too nice is too boring. Nice guys give too much too soon. They need to learn to give a little bit, and not consistently. Giving consistently doesn't make a woman want more. Giving intermittently makes her want more. The kiss of death for a relationship (in the courting stage) is when they are always there for her and she knows you love her more than life. That's a lot more pressure than a woman wants in the beginning of a relationship. She wants a little equality, in terms of you both deciding at a similar speed if you want to be in a romantic relationship -- not you've decided and now she has to get on board. __________________ i havent read all of this, it is long i will read later i completely agree that women like the challenge of a bad boy and dont like the pressure of a nice guy who cannot live without them, it is suffocating. it is pressure if you feel you have to reciprocate feelings. but i have another question: what of men? do men also prefer bad girls? apart from my last relationship which was not the normal situation, i have always been good at playing the game and men have always fallen for me. i only fell for the players. but my last relationship because it was unusual circumstances and harder for me to play the game (he was married), i guess then i acted like the 'nice girl', he didnt fall for me. maybe it was just because he would never have done whatever i was like, but i cant help but think, men prefer 'bad' girls too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted April 5, 2005 Author Share Posted April 5, 2005 Originally posted by newby what of men? do men also prefer bad girls? yes Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Originally posted by gridiron Maybe we should schedule a convention for "There are no good men left" women and "Women don't want nice guys" guys to meet. I bet the number of matches that hit it off would be ZERO. In fact, the victim mentality both factions have would probably just stregthen the doom and gloom they see in their lives. That would be sooooo funny. And yes, I'd go with your zero prediction. For the same reasons. But at least we'd get a laugh... Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Because he wasn't a nice guy to begin with. I've been a nice guy my whole life and I agree with Alpha's post. Women want excitement. And like my G/F (if she is still that) mom says, well...see my siggy below. I can't change being a nice guy, but I can be a little better about the "bait" and not giving too much too soon. Ugh. I'm an idiot. Here was the thread that could have changed my relationship and I didn't learn a darn thing. It took losing my ex to figure this out. THIS is why she left me. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Ugh. I'm an idiot. Here was the thread that could have changed my relationship and I didn't learn a darn thing. Hindsight is a wonderful thing eh? Some days I feel like kicking myself. But hey, we'll do better next time. Link to post Share on other sites
baltimoregirl42 Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Nice guys win in the long run. Nice guys are the ones that us women overlook because we want something with more thrills. Unfortunately, what initially looks like "thrills" usually turns out to be: a) someone with a drinking/drug problem b) emotionally unavailable c) dishonest d) unfaithful e) abusive f) heartache g) all of the above It's usually G, all of the above. Of course, we put ourselves through hell and back convinced we can change them into "nice" guys, which never works. I miss "nice" guys. As someone who is currently in a very up and down relationship with a stereotypical "bad boy", I can say that it's not worth it. Why do I stay? Hard to say. I'm still trying to figure that one out. Link to post Share on other sites
baltimoregirl42 Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 As much as some people on LS hate the book "He's Just Not That Into You", the author was right on about "bad boys". Please read: "Bad Boys" are bad because they're troubled, as in having little self-respect, lots of pent-up anger, loads of self-loathing, complete lack of faith in any kind of loving relationship, but yes, really cool clothes and often a great car. Just the kind of guy for you, right? I couldn't have said it better myself. This might not be the case with all "bad boys" but it rings true for my encounters I've had with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by baltimoregirl42 As someone who is currently in a very up and down relationship with a stereotypical "bad boy", I can say that it's not worth it. Why do I stay? Hard to say. I'm still trying to figure that one out. I will tell u why you stay BALTIMOREGURL42.... and don't forget this: You stay because the 'bad boy' brings out emotions and feelings in you and you associate this with "love". The "nice" and boring guys does nothing for your emotions and feelings. Womens whole lives and way of though revolve around emotions and feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I will tell u why you stay BALTIMOREGURL42.... and don't forget this: You stay because the 'bad boy' brings out emotions and feelings in you and you associate this with "love". The "nice" and boring guys does nothing for your emotions and feelings. Womens whole lives and way of though revolve around emotions and feelings. That is so true and makes so much sense. Kinda sucks doesn't it? Wouldn't it be nice if we could decide who to fall in love with? *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Bad... good... nice... jerk... You just want somebody who can make you feel good and keep you guessing. Bad boys are just better at it. You don't have to be mentally unstable, addicted to drugs, and abusive to attract women. You just gotta be exciting, and know when to have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 <---- Mama needs a stern disciplinarian not above doling out spankings. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter <---- Mama needs a stern disciplinarian not above doling out spankings. The problem is women don't ask for them. A balanced man asks "How would you like me to please you?" and "I want you to do this to please me." We don't like reading between the lines, ladies. Just tell us what you want. We'll do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC A balanced man asks "How would you like me to please you?" and "I want you to do this to please me." A balanced man would not ask these questions or make these stmts. He would already know how to please himself and then please her instinctually. We don't like reading between the lines, ladies. Just tell us what you want. We'll do it. Women will not tell you what they want. They want you to already know what they want and need. A man who asks his woman "how can I please you" is looked at as a spineless jellyfish who is not desirable. Men who are real men know what women want already, they don't have to ask. Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 And the guys who get the most ass don't give a rip what the woman wants. They do what they want, what makes them feel good, and drop a woman if she's not keeping him interested. Link to post Share on other sites
fundamental Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles Yeah, the divorce rate in this country is embarrassing. In an odd way, it makes me feel good to know that the trials of love spread far and wide. Just like these forums, it is nice to know you are not alone, wading through misery. My last ex was 22, said she wanted something long-term, even spoke of marriage. Clearly, I don't see that happening with this bad boy she's hooked up with. I think many times, younger women (and even older women?) think they have a firm romantic objective but fail to take a step back and gain perspective on just what they are getting into. I've known girls who have chosen bad boys as a "project", in the hopes of conforming them to their standards. Relationships just don't work like that. Some women (not all) take bad boys as projects so that they won't have to deal with themselves and all of their own faults. If a woman has a nice/good guy who doesn't have baggage or have many problems, she doesn't have anything to concentrate on except her own problems and insecurities. A woman who just goes after bad boys, and i mean real bad boys- drunks, abusers- for excitement, does it to avoid her own miserable life. A woman who goes through a 100 bad boys, then decides she wants a good man, is just desperate. Most women who have sense know to go after a good guy--and I don't mean a wimp. Atleast, I hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by BrotherAaron And the guys who get the most ass don't give a rip what the woman wants. They do what they want, what makes them feel good, and drop a woman if she's not keeping him interested. Bingo! BROTHER AARON....you get a gold star for today. Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Sa-weet. I love getting the gold star The funny thing is, people are so quick to call these guys 'jerks'. Why? Isn't that what women do all the time? Can I add that they expect men to buy them stuff too? Guys are getting used left and right, and the best we can do is call them 'jerks' if they resist. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by BrotherAaron Sa-weet. I love getting the gold star The funny thing is, people are so quick to call these guys 'jerks'. Why? Isn't that what women do all the time? Can I add that they expect men to buy them stuff too? Guys are getting used left and right, and the best we can do is call them 'jerks' if they resist. No, not when they don't go overboard. That specific woman might, but not everyone in general. But we call the women who are doing the using b!tches or whores. Those b!tches and whores are just looking out for themselves in the same way the jerks and a**h***s are. If you want to get as many bitches and whores as you can, be an a**h*** and a jerk. If you want a good, worth while girl, be good and worth while yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by crazy_grl If you want a good, worth while girl, be good and worth while yourself. this is typical female banter, CRAZY_GRL. And what man wants a good worth-while girl? Good girls go to Heaven and bad girls go everywhere else also plz remember that "bad boys" are attractive to all women, good or bad. Link to post Share on other sites
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