noskilljustluck Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Im 23, been dating a guy online for about an year and 2 months. Or should I say, was dating. Anyways, he's very sexual and everything, and a day or two ago, he gave me an ultimatum, that I should send him nude sexual pics to make up for the imbalance I created by being moody in past two weeks. We have been moody over petty things, but we both clarified. He has said he's out of this relationship, and would only consider it ongoing if I give him said pics. I have given him suggestive stuff and shown him myself in lingerie on cam. But I dont want to be fully nude on cam or in pics. When I ask him to come visit me, he presses on his helplessness of not having enough income. He has already tried breaking up with me twice. This will be the third. He said, I should stop talking to him, and only talk with him when im ready to go meet him and have sex for real. My reason of not seeing him soon enough are my studied and living on the other side of the world. I really love him , but I cant bring myself to do this act, I already feel bad for the past things I have done for him to make him happy. He knows how I feel about this, and yet, he has still given me this ultimatum. What are your thoughts on this matter? Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Tell him to go fck himself.... TFY 15 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 You cannot be serious. Of course you shouldn't do it. And you shouldn't talk to him anymore. He has already let you know that the only thing he wants from you is sex, and if you can't/won't do it, he won't talk to you. You can do better than this guy. Much much better. If you send him nude pics, you don't know what he will do with them. If he gets mad at you, he may decide to post them all over the internet. Don't give him that power. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 I already feel bad for the past things I have done for him to make him happy. He knows how I feel about this, and yet, he has still given me this ultimatum. If he loved you, he wouldn't be asking you to do things that make you feel bad. He would want you to be happy, not just make HIM happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoebe Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Stay away from this guy. Under no circumstances send him nude photos of yourself. He does not care about you. In years to come you will look back on this situation and wonder what the hell you were thinking. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author noskilljustluck Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 You cannot be serious. Of course you shouldn't do it. And you shouldn't talk to him anymore. He has already let you know that the only thing he wants from you is sex, and if you can't/won't do it, he won't talk to you. You can do better than this guy. Much much better. If you send him nude pics, you don't know what he will do with them. If he gets mad at you, he may decide to post them all over the internet. Don't give him that power. I already told him I wont do it. I guess I just wanted to hear this being confirmed as a good decision. I didnt really say goodbye, but my last reply in negative to his 'ultimatum', pretty much means good bye in this situation. It came off as a shock to me, cause when the last time I did something suggestive, he promised never to make me do something that would make me feel bad. Its true, partly the reason why I didnt want to do this, was knowing the possibility that in his rage he might post it online or send it to my address. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author noskilljustluck Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 Stay away from this guy. Under no circumstances send him nude photos of yourself. He does not care about you. In years to come you will look back on this situation and wonder what the hell you were thinking. Thats exactly what I thought! I've already done so much for him, and he still resorts to pushing me around. I dont want to do something which makes me regret. He says that if I LOVE him, then I SHOULD DO IT. When I asked him, if he loves me and he should respect my feelings too, he said that I have been giving him a hard time with my moody talk. Where the truth is, if I was ever moody, he provided for it. He tried to convince me by saying that it was normal in a relationship and its just between us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 He says that if I LOVE him, then I SHOULD DO IT. When I asked him, if he loves me and he should respect my feelings too, he said that I have been giving him a hard time with my moody talk. Where the truth is, if I was ever moody, he provided for it. In this case, he is in the wrong, and you are in the right. He tried to convince me by saying that it was normal in a relationship and its just between us. There's no such thing as "normal" in a relationship. There's a wide range of behaviors and actions. The important thing is being true to your own sense of right/wrong, and understanding that your partner's sense of right/wrong may not be the same as yours. If the things he has asked you to do are important to him, you are not the one for him. You'll move on and find a guy who loves and appreciates you for exactly who you are instead of constantly trying to push you to do things to make him happy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Thats exactly what I thought! I've already done so much for him, and he still resorts to pushing me around. I dont want to do something which makes me regret. He says that if I LOVE him, then I SHOULD DO IT. When I asked him, if he loves me and he should respect my feelings too, he said that I have been giving him a hard time with my moody talk. Where the truth is, if I was ever moody, he provided for it. He tried to convince me by saying that it was normal in a relationship and its just between us. Wow. This guy has a pattern of holding your relationship hostage when you don't do what he wants. This is the third time he's tried to break up with you? I say, let him. Sayonara. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Drop that scumbag 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author noskilljustluck Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 In this case, he is in the wrong, and you are in the right. There's no such thing as "normal" in a relationship. There's a wide range of behaviors and actions. The important thing is being true to your own sense of right/wrong, and understanding that your partner's sense of right/wrong may not be the same as yours. If the things he has asked you to do are important to him, you are not the one for him. You'll move on and find a guy who loves and appreciates you for exactly who you are instead of constantly trying to push you to do things to make him happy. Its just depressing, because he knew what type of a person I am. Even a day ago I told him that this is not my mind set, he's deliberately setting us apart with such conditions. He considers, physicality a very important thing. He even says I should consider myself lucky cause he hasnt sexed me up and is still in a relationship with me. Right now, all I know is this. I made the right decision of turning down his offer. but it hurts to love him so and not be able to do anything to save our relationship. I guess it bites me more, cause he was the one who wanted to have a relationship with me. =/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author noskilljustluck Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 Wow. This guy has a pattern of holding your relationship hostage when you don't do what he wants. This is the third time he's tried to break up with you? I say, let him. Sayonara. It is goodbye for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 14 months of this crazy drama???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author noskilljustluck Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 I have. I just wanted to know, if I made the right decision. Cause up until the end he blames me. I guess, thats his defensive mechanism. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noskilljustluck Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 14 months of this crazy drama???? You can say that. Link to post Share on other sites
Kimi Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Leave him in the dirt where he belongs and never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noskilljustluck Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 Leave him in the dirt where he belongs and never look back. Its a day old matter, so im confused. But im slowly understanding the good of my decision. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 He even says I should consider myself lucky cause he hasnt sexed me up and is still in a relationship with me. How exactly are you "lucky"? Just because you have a boyfriend? I don't see the "lucky". Right now, all I know is this. I made the right decision of turning down his offer. but it hurts to love him so and not be able to do anything to save our relationship. I guess it bites me more, cause he was the one who wanted to have a relationship with me. =/ I know it hurts. But you have to remember that you are hurting for who you wish he was, or who you think he might be underneath. His potential. In reality, he's a guy who manipulates you into doing things for him in exchange for the "honor" of being with him. That is NOT a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kimi Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Its a day old matter, so im confused. But im slowly understanding the good of my decision. Let it sink in good. If you let him manipulate him you this way, he will surely keep bullying you into doing other things you don't want to do. And what will come of the naked pics? What if they show up on facebook or something? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author noskilljustluck Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 How exactly are you "lucky"? Just because you have a boyfriend? I don't see the "lucky". I know it hurts. But you have to remember that you are hurting for who you wish he was, or who you think he might be underneath. His potential. In reality, he's a guy who manipulates you into doing things for him in exchange for the "honor" of being with him. That is NOT a relationship. Once he even said, I was too perfect for him. But lately he has been acting more domineering, cause I told him I was afraid of losing him and I would want him to have faith in both of us, so we can make this work. I guess it will pass. Thankyou for giving me advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noskilljustluck Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 Let it sink in good. If you let him manipulate him you this way, he will surely keep bullying you into doing other things you don't want to do. And what will come of the naked pics? What if they show up on facebook or something? I know the problem it will cause me , so ive distanced myself from him for good. Though ironically, he made me shut my facebook off six months ago, cause he didnt like me talking to strangers. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Though ironically, he made me shut my facebook off six months ago, cause he didnt like me talking to strangers. Dislike. Don't allow someone to control you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 I think your freedom from him calls for a new Facebook profile... reconnect with your friends! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author noskilljustluck Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 I think your freedom from him calls for a new Facebook profile... reconnect with your friends! I allowed him to manipulate me, cause even then I was trying to save us. lol,And I dont like fb anymore, kind of lost my interest in it. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 Tell him to go fck himself.... TFY So good, it needs to be said twice. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
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