ow9 Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) Well, it’s been almost a year. Almost one year since I’ve lost the TWO men of my dreams; one being my H, one being my MM. It’s been almost a year since logging onto LoveShack. I used to come on LoveShack every chance I got; reading, posting, pleading, praying for some sort of resolution that would leave everyone in my mess unharmed and happy. I suppose I could write pages upon pages of my own personal story, but all the details are meaningless at this point. It all ends. Yes, it will all end. Having an affair will not last forever. Something will happen. You’ll slip. They’ll slip. Something. Whatever happens, it will end, and when it does…be grateful. There’s no more lying, no more crying, no more genuinely believing in the justification that what you’re doing is somehow “ok.” I was left alone. The H left, my affair being my “exit strategy,” and the MM left, as he obviously chose his W over me. And you want to know something? The moment I was left alone was the best moment of my life. Amazing, a year later that I’m back on LoveShack. Now, I’m legally single, and am dating a legally single man. Who, ironically enough, treats me better than the ExH and ExMM did combined. At seven months in, I look at him and see a future with someone who, for the first time since all of that ballyhoo ended, makes me feel like a woman should. You do deserve it. You deserve to be happy. And you will be happy. An affair isn’t happiness, it’s STUPIDITY. From someone who is you, just one year further along, trust me… Please. Stop. Don’t end your affair tomorrow, or this weekend, end it RIGHT NOW. Edited November 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 21 Link to post Share on other sites
BruisedBNBroken Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) Well, it’s been almost a year. Almost one year since I’ve lost the TWO men of my dreams; one being my H, one being my MM. It’s been almost a year since logging onto LoveShack. I used to come on LoveShack every chance I got; reading, posting, pleading, praying for some sort of resolution that would leave everyone in my mess unharmed and happy. I suppose I could write pages upon pages of my own personal story, but all the details are meaningless at this point. It all ends. Yes, it will all end. Having an affair will not last forever. Something will happen. You’ll slip. They’ll slip. Something. Whatever happens, it will end, and when it does…be grateful. There’s no more lying, no more crying, no more genuinely believing in the justification that what you’re doing is somehow “ok.” I was left alone. The H left, my affair being my “exit strategy,” and the MM left, as he obviously chose his W over me. And you want to know something? The moment I was left alone was the best moment of my life. Amazing, a year later that I’m back on LoveShack. Now, I’m legally single, and am dating a legally single man. Who, ironically enough, treats me better than the ExH and ExMM did combined. At seven months in, I look at him and see a future with someone who, for the first time since all of that ballyhoo ended, makes me feel like a woman should. You do deserve it. You deserve to be happy. And you will be happy. An affair isn’t happiness, it’s STUPIDITY. From someone who is you, just one year further along, trust me… Please. Stop. Don’t end your affair tomorrow, or this weekend, end it RIGHT NOW. Thank you so much for this! My H and I just got separated and my affair ended last week (hopefully for good.) I am actually looking forward to starting over and being alone. Your post gives me hope. And hope helps the pain. So thank you. Edited November 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LilGirlandOW Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 I'm happy to hear you found so much strength in the aftermath, very encouraging and inspiring. Thanks for sharing. All the best xo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
what_a_blonde Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 I'm so happy to hear you've healed and were able to find someone who makes you happier than both men before ever did! I do have a couple things l am curious about.. 1) how long were you married before getting a divorce? I see you were 27.. Just curious though. Also, what made you begin your A? Loneliness because you and your spouse never spent time? Or did he cheat and there was no trust? Sorry to bring that up in your healing post... But I'm curious. again, very happy for you though. Time truly does heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ow9 Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 No problem what_a_blonde, ask away! I was married for three years before starting my affair. There really is no excuse for what I've done, but yes, I was beyond lonely in my marriage. We were the best roommates ever; that was pretty much it. He never cheated on me. He also admitted right before my affair began that "marriage wasn't for him." I do hope he finds happiness wherever he is. As for the exMM, well, there's not a lot to say here... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
brunettebarbie Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Your story is very motivating..thank you for sharing. I so much want to believe and give him the time he says he needs but how much more can I put myself through this. I figures if he lies to her he probably lies to me and there is no trust..and where there is no trust there is no relationship. I hope I find the happiness when i have the courage to end this. Thank you and I am happy for you..hugs Link to post Share on other sites
hurtnomorerika Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 Well, it’s been almost a year. Almost one year since I’ve lost the TWO men of my dreams; one being my H, one being my MM. It’s been almost a year since logging onto LoveShack. I used to come on LoveShack every chance I got; reading, posting, pleading, praying for some sort of resolution that would leave everyone in my mess unharmed and happy. I suppose I could write pages upon pages of my own personal story, but all the details are meaningless at this point. It all ends. Yes, it will all end. Having an affair will not last forever. Something will happen. You’ll slip. They’ll slip. Something. Whatever happens, it will end, and when it does…be grateful. There’s no more lying, no more crying, no more genuinely believing in the justification that what you’re doing is somehow “ok.” I was left alone. The H left, my affair being my “exit strategy,” and the MM left, as he obviously chose his W over me. And you want to know something? The moment I was left alone was the best moment of my life. Amazing, a year later that I’m back on LoveShack. Now, I’m legally single, and am dating a legally single man. Who, ironically enough, treats me better than the ExH and ExMM did combined. At seven months in, I look at him and see a future with someone who, for the first time since all of that ballyhoo ended, makes me feel like a woman should. You do deserve it. You deserve to be happy. And you will be happy. An affair isn’t happiness, it’s STUPIDITY. From someone who is you, just one year further along, trust me… Please. Stop. Don’t end your affair tomorrow, or this weekend, end it RIGHT NOW. As someone else said, YOU GIVE ME HOPE! Things will get better and I will find a man to love me better than MM or anyone else ever did. Of course, until then I will be working on healing me. Link to post Share on other sites
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