Sick of all the favortisim at this stupid place(my job)

[Teag]

OK this is my deal, my husbands grandfather has owned this insurance agency for 40 yrs. I work here & I love my job and consider myself very lucky to work here b/c I'm still young(22) and haven't had any office experiance prior to working here. I've been here for almost 3 years. Anyway we are all family except 2 people, our receptionist I'll call her "J" & another agent, I'll call her "C". My problem is with my mother-in-law mainly & "C". I have worked here for about a month longer than "C" & she started as a receptionist. WhenI first came to work here my mother-in-law told me that she has to be harder on me than everyone else b/c I'm her daughter-in-law & doesn't want anyone to think she's playing favorites b/c of that reason. Fine Whatever. "C" starts working here & she's one of uncle-in-laws(I guess thats what you call them) best friends wife, not much older than I am. Her & my M-I-L hits it off great & pretty much become BFF. Thats fine, I dont care. 6 months after she starts she gets a $2 raise & starts studying for her insurance license. And again whatever, thats fine, although I only get a 25 cent raise. At this point I've had my baby & am privilidged enough to be able to bring my daughter to work with me.

 

After my daughter turns 13 months old I really want to put my daughter in daycare, having to work & take care of her is really stressing me out b/c she's older & getting into everything & is no longer happy staying in my office(duh) so she screams all day. But we can't afford to put her in daycare & my M-I-L won't give me a raise to be able to b/c she enjoys my daughter being here & would miss her if she wasn't(how selfish) well my husband blows up on her one day b/c once again I come home crying b/c I'm so stressed.

 

She FINALLY decides to give me a raise so I can put her in daycare. At this point "C" has gotten another $1 raise but she can't give me a raise. WTF!!!

After I put her i daycare everything is fine. about 6 months later "C" gets her license & gets another $2 raise. Fine whatever, she has more office experiance than I do but has never worked in ins. before.

 

Now that you have alittle back ground this is my problem. I got my friend "J" a job here about 4 months ago. We have 1 hour lunches like most other jobs BUT people have made the lunches 1 1/2 hrs (M-I-L & "C") When me a "J" go to lunch, god forbid we be gone longer than an hour althoug "C" takes hour in a half lunch almost EVERY day but nothing gets said to her. "C" gets so much more credit than she desearves, she takes advantage of this company being so laid back.

 

She plays on the computer all day & emails people, talks on her cell phone whenever she wants & NOTHING gets said to her. My M-I-L is the type of person where it has to be her way or the highway. We have a full kitchen w/ a couch so I go back there today to take a nap b/c I'm working on 3 hrs sleep b/c m y daughter was up sick last night. I ask "J" to make sure I'm up in an hour & she does but after getting myself back together it's been an hour & 10 minutes I've been at lunch.. I get back to my desk & I have a Winpop(Like IM in the office) from my M-I-L saying:

Now you know I love you and you get your work done & none has said anything but try to keep you lunches at an hour. I just don't want anyone to say anything. WTF!!!!!!! I am NEVER late comming back from lunch. I'm so sick of it. My H is like tell her. I hate confrontation b/c if anything is said my mind goes blank & I just end up not saying anything anyway. I am a very timid person which I hate. I'm just sick of her giving all privildges to "C" when she doesn't desearve it. I work my A** off for this company. I'm not the only person who sees it either. Grrr I'm just so frustrated, I love my job but those 2 almost make it miserable to work here(for others as well).

 

Sorry for it being so long, I just needed to get it off my chest.

[savethedrama4allama]

Gosh, at first I thought you meant LoveShack.

 

I'm sorry for what you're going through. This kind of stuff happens at every workplace, and if its not one thing its another. I know its tough to deal with though. Wish I had more advice, but since its family-owned it'll be that much more difficult to have changes made.

[Naive]

Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama

Gosh, at first I thought you meant LoveShack.

 

Me too!!!!! I was shocked

[Teag]

Gosh, at first I thought you meant LoveShack

+

 

LOL, sorry, this place is great. I was just aggravated & wanted to vent.

[mental_traveller]

The only person who will look out for you and stick up for your interests is YOU. You need to *demand* the treatment you deserve - if you expect other people to give it to you on a plate then you are dreaming. You say you hate confrontation, but sometimes that is the only way to get things done. The thing to do here is make it quite clear that you are thoroughly annoyed and demand that not only you get equal treatment to the other woman, but I would go for better treatment and pay. Finally, you are always in a strong negotiating position if you are prepared to pull out. So decide whether you would quit this job if it got bad enough. If you are prepared to quit as a last straw, then make this clear and threaten it if you do not get your pay rise and decent treatment.

 

People at work get paid based not on what they deserve, but on what they will accept versus what is offered to them. If you are worth $x per hour but will settle for $x-2, then why would anyone pay you your full value, if you don't demand or even ask for it? You are letting yourself get walked on, and this will continue until you stick up for yourself.

 

My advice is to get some assertiveness training, at a class or something. Also watch other assertive people and see how they act, how they deal with people who do not value them. You'll find they are very quick to point out when they think they are being overlooked! You can even avoid confrontation, e.g. by putting your demands in writing, rather than face to face or on the phone.