Wanting to spend Christmas with Girlfriend but feeling guilty

[Jersey-Guy]

My girlfriend and I are long distance right now for almost 2 years. Both 24 years old will be 25 in 2 months.

 

I was planning on coming to see her in January since we haven't seen each other in person since February.

 

She invited me to spend the last 2 weeks of December with her and her child to do Christmasy things. Actually, she really wants me to come for personal reasons as well since our summer trip was a massive failure.

 

Now, a little background. It's just myself, my brother, mother and father and no relatives come over or anything, and our grandparents are dead now. Our Christmas day is pretty normal, we have a Christmas dinner, open presents, etc...

 

My father and mother have no relationship. I'd say 80% of Christmases except in the last few years have always had a fight. So no, they do not have each other. They also have no friends. Yes, no friends, no social life. Go to work, come home, do nothing. So really the only thing they have is my brother and I. I've been here for every single Christmas because I don't live at school since it's 10 minutes away, and still live at home. They've got me 24/7. I actively help them when needed and pay for internet/phone here as sorta my contribution.

 

I feel like I am going to ruin Christmas for the whole family by leaving. Literally.

 

They have never 'let go' of me - ever so to speak. I have never lived away from home. So they will be deathly worried sick. My parents do not like my relationship either, though they have slowly started to just accept it.

 

So, basically, leaving home temporarily to be with someone they hate for the holidays for a relationship they believe is stupid anyway... I'm basically choosing them over the family. I think this will probably breed anger against me for leaving the family. I already discussed this with my brother; he honestly isn't bothered that much. My mother says it is up to me how I want to spend the holidays but I can tell that she is lying. She has lied to me so much it's not even funny about my relationship, says one thing to me then goes behind my back and says sh*t to dad. I feel like there is just no way this house will even have a good Christmas at all if I leave. Maybe if they approved of my relationship and didn't hate it, then they would be able to let me go, but they don't. I can literally feel the anxiety building up inside me over this imagining what their Christmas will be like with me missing.

 

Honestly am I being selfish here for wanting to try this? Was it wrong of my girlfriend to invite me to her place for 2 weeks for Christmas with her and her child with an expectation that I wouldn't say no? I just feel like crap now and can't even get excited in between the nervousness from them and what they'll pull on me from the beginning leading up to leaving and the new experience this will be for me.

Edited November 8, 2013 by Jersey-Guy