It's snowballing

[Barby]

Okay. It doesn't sound like you're "tooting your own horn" just stating what you feel.

 

So assuming things go your way are you planning on having a serious relationship with him (not saying you're not i'm just asking) or just going to continue to have a casual "lovers" relationship with him?

[Mr Spock]

We'll see. I need to be prepared for what I want not happening-I'd LIKE to try a serious relationship.

[Adunaphel]

Mr. Spock, I wish you good luck with him and I hope that the std you contracted can be easily cured and won't be too much of a hassle.

 

Are you 100% sure his wife will leave him once she finds out?

[Grinning Maniac]

@Moose: "For once, you and I are in total agreement..."

 

Karma's something else, eh? An STD and an abortion. Wow. I bet this'll be a sparkly magical love that will stand the test of time. Oh well. You pay your money, you take your chances I guess. Did anyone see this rising on a high note when she first brought the guy up long ago? Eh. *shrug* In any case, this thread made me chuckle. I do feel sorry for the wife though. What a predicament...

 

Spock, I guess the humorous thing here is that nearly everyone sees the nigh-absolute certainty of this ending badly, but you keep marching along to the endless chant of "I want", confident that you're going to beat the documented odds that so many others in similar situations have fallen victim to. I don't understand it, and maybe I'm not supposed to. It's strange how seemingly smart people can make such dumb moves. Oh well, good luck with that STD there, Spocky.

 

PS: Just out of curiousity, what about this situation has made it impossible to walk away from? Aside from the fact that you "want" him, of course. Exactly how much more would this situation have to rot and attract flies before you'd decide it's time to cash out? Just wondering. Maybe we could all take bets on what happens next. It could be fun.

[johan]

Who gets to cast the first stone?

[immoralist]

I see the Perfect Ones have spoken with all the warmth, humanity and compassion one would expect from such bitter, mean-spirited Moralists.

 

I'll take Spock any day as a human being over some of her cruel, gloating and smug critics.

[1Yoyo]

Originally posted by immoralist

I see the Perfect Ones have spoken with all the warmth, humanity and compassion one would expect from such bitter, mean-spirited Moralists.

 

I'll take Spock any day as a human being over some of her cruel, gloating and smug critics.

 

 

 

 

 

I have not posted in a while for that very same reason. Spock, I wish you all the best in your recovery and your relationship. I hope all works out the way you want.

 

 

Yo

[EnigmaXOXO]

12-03-04 Spock advises: You won't get him out of your system by boinking him, it'll make it harder to stay unattached.

 

Just be thankful he's not your husband, pretend it didn't happen and don't do it again.

 

11-22-04 Spock advises:I think you're lying to yourself. I think you're so afraid of the unknown that you'd fight tooth and nail for something that's long since been not worth the effort. I think you're smarter than this, and it's making me angry.

I'm sometimes baffled by the same questions while reading your posts, Spock. I say to myself: "Doesn't she seem so much smarter than this?" But I never find myself "angry" with your decisions or your direct, unsympathetic approach to other women in the same situations. Rather, just a little confused that your actions and words somehow always seem out of sync.

11-09-04 Spock advises:Ok, then you most definetly do not get to wreck her world by informing her yourself. What you have here is a case of making your bed-now you have to lay in it. If he indeed passed HPV on to you, you should do what someone said above and inform your public health nurse or doctor of all your sexual partners since your last check up, if you're concerned about protecting her. Let them know he is married. But you don't get to tell her….

It sucks. HE sucks. But you don't get to choose when and where that marriage ends if he indeed hasn't chosen you...

And you know what? It's COWARDLY to choose to end your affair in that matter. Because it allows you to end your suffering without him choosing between the two-after all, you may not be the winner and that HURTS. But it's the only way you will come to the realization that he's really not that into you-by making him choose. And if he doesn't choose you, you cut him out of your life. You don't wreck hers. And if he does, then it was meant to be.

I'm wishing the best outcome for you as well, Spock. But most of all, when the time comes, I'm holding onto hope that you will somehow prove "smart" enough to follow your own good advice and not allow anger and disappointment to get the best of you.

[moimeme]

I see the Perfect Ones have spoken with all the warmth, humanity and compassion one would expect from such bitter, mean-spirited Moralists.

 

Right, pot.

 

This entire thread is a testimony to humanity's ability to self-delude. Spock first started posting about how she could easily have sex with whomever she pleased for the fun of it and how she had no intention of getting emotionally involved because she was just out for good sacktime. And, as Enigma points out, she has great talk but doesn't walk it.

 

I wish folks would pay more attention to what psychology tells us about humanity and use that information to help themselves. But of course denial is one of the classic forms of self-defense. I don't see this as a tale of a brave rebel living her life her way, as both the protagonist and her admirers like to portray it. I see it as a sterling example of how people will do anything and say anything to rationalize situations which they know to be bad and wrong.

 

Those of us who call their bluff and try to get them to see that they're only lying to themselves get slanged as 'moralists', which is ridiculous. It's beyond childish to turn this into a situation of heroine against detractors. Call it what it is - a self-destructive person who tries to convince herself and everyone else that she's a brave rebel. It'll only work for so long and then there'll be a breakdown or depression or something worse.

 

Once that happens, the sham will be shed and maybe she'll be able to work on the issues which prevent her from making self-affirming decisions.

 

No need to flame this post. I know exactly what the response will be and from whom. I'm just leaving the thoughts to percolate where they might someday do some good.

[Barby]

It isn't necessary to "cast stones" by any means...but the person who pointed out Spock's advice from before in similar situation hit the nail on the head. Spock you are so strong willed and able to give advice to women in similar situations....now I hope that you're able to take your own advice and keep yourself from having too painful of a time if indeed it does end.

 

 

You keep stating that "you're not going anywhere"

 

My question.....

 

Is that a type of threat to him if he doesn't choose you that you'll make his life miserable (as you stated you have the ability to do) and if that's what you meant you have to know you can't keep a man by bullying him, threatening or intimidating him...that's very unbecoming.

[johan]

I agree with those who point out the fact that Spock has hard choices to make and should examine the quality of the life her choices are yielding.

 

I don't agree with anyone who feels superior and that they have the right to criticize. But for the grace of God, that is also you, maybe worse. Don't fool yourself into thinking that it was more than luck that you were blessed with the moral superiority and clarity of mind you claim as your advantage. That's my strongly held opinion.

[Mr Spock]

Oh, I can certainly have sex without forming a lasting emotional attachment Moimeme. It gets harder over a prolonged length of time-I wanted to like him.

I certainly have never claimed to be a brave rebel. It's doubtful it's denial either. I certainly recognize that he's a class A d*ck. But that's the d*ck that I want. And that d*ck hasn't told me I can't have it.

 

What is this tale then? It's most certainly a mess. Your post alone is turning this into some kind of arguement which I never intended it to be. So stop it.

 

I haven't been following the board lately, but I haven't noticed you posting about your problems-you just sit back and dole out your own special brand of advice-is your life so perfect/boring now that you've stopped needing to garner thoughts from others? Or perhaps your sole purpose to be on LS is to admire how smart you sound......

 

Barby, you're waaaay off base. I haven't asked him to leave. I haven't asked him to do anything of the nature you're referring to. All I've done is state what my feelings are, what I want, and asked him what he plans on doing, about everything INCLUDING me.

[Mr Spock]

Originally posted by Adunaphel

Mr. Spock, I wish you good luck with him and I hope that the std you contracted can be easily cured and won't be too much of a hassle.

 

Are you 100% sure his wife will leave him once she finds out?

 

No, and that does worry me. I do know his life would be 100 percent over, in terms of him doing what he wants to do.

[Mr Spock]

Originally posted by Grinning Maniac

@Moose: "For once, you and I are in total agreement..."

 

Karma's something else, eh? An STD and an abortion. Wow. I bet this'll be a sparkly magical love that will stand the test of time. Oh well. You pay your money, you take your chances I guess. Did anyone see this rising on a high note when she first brought the guy up long ago? Eh. *shrug* In any case, this thread made me chuckle. I do feel sorry for the wife though. What a predicament...

 

Spock, I guess the humorous thing here is that nearly everyone sees the nigh-absolute certainty of this ending badly, but you keep marching along to the endless chant of "I want", confident that you're going to beat the documented odds that so many others in similar situations have fallen victim to. I don't understand it, and maybe I'm not supposed to. It's strange how seemingly smart people can make such dumb moves. Oh well, good luck with that STD there, Spocky.

 

PS: Just out of curiousity, what about this situation has made it impossible to walk away from? Aside from the fact that you "want" him, of course. Exactly how much more would this situation have to rot and attract flies before you'd decide it's time to cash out? Just wondering. Maybe we could all take bets on what happens next. It could be fun.

 

I wondered if you'd bother posting. I hardly think VD has much to do with "karma" unless you want to tell those AIDS babies they deserved it.

 

I'll try to keep the thread updated for your viewing enjoyment-to answer your last question, it's rare that I find a man with the same strength of personality that I do-combined with extreme sexual compatability, and the exact same sense of humour makes it VERY hard to walk away from. Did I say impossible? I should probably retract that.

[Barby]

Barby, you're waaaay off base. I haven't asked him to leave. I haven't asked him to do anything of the nature you're referring to. All I've done is state what my feelings are, what I want, and asked him what he plans on doing, about everything INCLUDING me.

 

Okis I was unclear, it sounded to me by these statements that it was a form of "threat" in a sense. I'm glad to know I'm wrong!

 

 

Either way he's screwed, because he knows A. I want him, and if he doesn't leave I have the power to make his life hell B. He's not going to be able to make this go away, so he's screwed.

[bebop]

This is a guy that's unhappy with everything currently in his life (who says they don't want the kids they have?) and I'm giving him an out, and he's considering taking it. If he doesn't, I'll deal with that too. Either way he's screwed, because he knows A. I want him, and if he doesn't leave I have the power to make his life hell B. He's not going to be able to make this go away, so he's screwed.

 

Lady, you just don't get it.

 

You ARE Hell.

[Mr Spock]

Originally posted by bebop

Lady, you just don't get it.

 

You ARE Hell.

 

Devil inside......

[Mr Spock]

Either way he's screwed, because he knows A. I want him, and if he doesn't leave I have the power to make his life hell B. He's not going to be able to make this go away, so he's screwed.

 

 

Well, I may SAY that but I doubt if I'd actually do it.

[indigo_moon]

I wondered if you'd bother posting. I hardly think VD has much to do with "karma" unless you want to tell those AIDS babies they deserved it.

 

That's a fairly stupid remark. Although you should have learned this from personal experience, VD refers to contracting a disease/infection through sexual relations....whereas, the poor little innocent babies BORN WITH AIDS contracted it passively from their infected mothers.

 

I have no idea why you bash your MM......and why some people here are doling out sympathy for you. It takes 2 to tango, it takes 2 to make a baby, it takes 2 to spread an STD - you were obviously a willing participant who knew the risks. Seems like you have quite a history of boinking peoples' husbands. How many more lives are you going to selfishly help to disrupt and devastate? How many more babies are you going to abort? How many families are you going to breakup?

 

I sincerely feel sorry for you, not because you caught the clap, but because your moral compass is so badly broken that it's not even funny. If nothing else, get your tubes tied so that you don't make anymore innocent fetuses pay for your reckless behavior - not to mention I'd shudder to imagine what kind of Mom you'd be.......what kind of role model you'd be. A mother, a good one, needs to be selfless and stable.........not threatening to make someone pay if they can't have them.

[Naive]

Either way he's screwed, because he knows A. I want him, and if he doesn't leave I have the power to make his life hell B. He's not going to be able to make this go away, so he's screwed.

 

Good for you!!! Make him pay for his part of the wrong. He is guilty as well actually he is way more guilty than you. With that said I think that if you f*** him over he'll see why he should not have had an affair.

[indigo_moon]

Originally posted by naive_2001

Either way he's screwed, because he knows A. I want him, and if he doesn't leave I have the power to make his life hell B. He's not going to be able to make this go away, so he's screwed.

 

Good for you!!! Make him pay for his part of the wrong. He is guilty as well actually he is way more guilty than you. With that said I think that if you f*** him over he'll see why he should not have had an affair.

 

She sounds like a psychopath......like a stalker.....if she can't have him she'll make his life hell. Scary man, scary.

 

And why the hell is he more guilty than her? He should not have had an affair? Well I'll give you that but it took 2 people to have an affair and being that she's an adult woman who willingly participated, she's equally as guilty. What absurd logic. This "make him pay" mindset is really very sick and disturbing.

[Grinning Maniac]

Originally posted by Mr Spock

it's rare that I find a man with the same strength of personality that I do-combined with extreme sexual compatability, and the exact same sense of humour makes it VERY hard to walk away from.

 

I might be crazy...but didn't you say the same thing in a post about the LAST married guy you were with? I could swear I've heard you say that exact same thing before in the past. Deja vu... Also, what exactly about this guy's personality is so strong? I was just wondering, since, you know...he's married... but doing you on the side... and seems to need a lot of persuasion [and possibly blackmail] to leave his wife and "run off into the sunset" with you, instead of having the balls to just pack up and go since things are probably ****ed anyway. I'm not too knowledgable about common-law marriage, but if she's not *really* his wife, shouldn't it be that much easier for him to leave? I'm not the cheating type...but if my mistress had to whine and whine and threaten the ruin of my existance before I moved my ass, I'd feel like a bit of a pussy.

 

[Mostly just curious about the above. The rest of this is late-night gibbering]

 

By the way, the comment about "making his life hell" is pretty disturbing as well. That sounds sort of pathetic coming from you, since you try to paint yourself as so emotionally rock-solid and tough... You'd consider doing all that over a guy? It sounds like the synopsis of some TV-movie they'd put on Lifetime.

 

"So you're not going to leave your wife, eh? ...Maybe my copies of these ILLEGAL DOCUMENTS will change your mind!"

 

I mean, aren't you the one who said you could have your choice of guys if you wished (although you may be limited to the "To Clymidia and Beyond!" section from now on)?

 

It's clear this guy is a bit of a douche and I wouldn't be shedding any tears for him if you did decide to pull a "Fatal Attraction" on him, but to even consider ruining someone else's life just because you can't sleep with them anymore is a few notches below laughably lame. I think you really need to get some help for yourself. I'm not saying that from a "moral vigilante" perspective either. I'm just being frank with you. I've been hurt by women in my life before, but I've never sat around cackling to myself, hatching plots against them if they reject me. That's creepy. But hey...you're The Prettiest Princess and you do what you please. I just think it's a little...insane.

 

By the way, Indigo...how come that AIDS baby remark didn't make any sense when you read it? Are you slow or something? It was crystal clear to me. The statement makes perfect sense if you think about, you just have to read between the lines. Just like a baby catching AIDS by being born to a mother it didn't choose, Spock catching VD was completely random and coincidental. I mean, she was probably just sitting around one day eating pudding, then BOOM... "Oh dear, I seem to have caught the clap. CURSE YOU JELLO PUDDING".

 

It's not as if it had anything to do with...oh...I don't know...****ING PEOPLE WHO HAD STDs.

[immoralist]

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[Matilda]

Yes, all this moralizing and condemnation needs to stop. It's foolishness and certainly not helping Spock. If you don't care for her, don't reply to the post. For the Christians in the crowd, do you think Christ would have condemned Spock the way you are doing?

 

Spock, I've been thinking a lot about your situation over the weekend for some reason. Maybe this guy is the one for you, but I just have a gut feeling that he's not. (You can take that for what it's worth, since I really don't know either of you. )

 

I also think all your bravado is masking a huge underlying vulnerability, and your current situation is proof of that. I just wish that you would investigate that a bit more before you do some things you may later regret.

 

And just one last thing that's been bothering me, you said you could have your pick of lovers, and by this I'm assuming you mean sexual partners. Well, most women have their pick of sexual partners, that's not the hard part. The hard part is finding a life partner. Someone you can relate to when you're not in bed. And at the risk of harping on you, I wish you would sit down and think about what you want from this one life you're given. It goes by so fast, you will wake up one day and be 40 and wonder how you got there.

[immoralist]

And just one last thing that's been bothering me, you said you could have your pick of lovers, and by this I'm assuming you mean sexual partners. Well, most women have their pick of sexual partners, that's not the hard part. The hard part is finding a life partner. Someone you can relate to when you're not in bed. And at the risk of harping on you, I wish you would sit down and think about what you want from this one life you're given. It goes by so fast, you will wake up one day and be 40 and wonder how you got there.

 

Spock, heed Matilda's wise counsel. That girl is right on the mark.