Buster Posey Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 so my ex says she wants me to find happiness with someone else. says she can't put in anymore effort into us because her heart isn't in it to work out. that i need to find someone who will love me the way she can't. i'm just so disappointed in her that she kicks me to the curb when times get rough, not willing to make our relationship work. be a family again. she said she is happy now that she let me go. that i should be happy for her. does this necessarily mean she found happiness with someone else??? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 Regardless, it means she doesn't want to be with you anymore. But yes, oftentimes people push their ex's to find someone else to relieve their guilt that they have either already found or are looking for someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 she said she is happy now that she let me go. that i should be happy for her. does this necessarily mean she found happiness with someone else??? In most cases; sorry to say, yes. That's usually what it means. Look, you don't build a loving and caring relationship with someone and WISH them to be with someone else. Also, the only time a dumper gets jealous of a dumpee is when they discover that the dumpee is moving on before them. Therefore, it leads me to believe she's with someone else. And if you had someone in YOUR life, then she wouldn't feel so guilty about having someone in hers right now Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buster Posey Posted November 8, 2013 Author Share Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) this sucks. i asked her friends if she found someone else, they said no. i asked my ex if she wanted to be with someone else, she said she wanted to be alone. i hate this feeling, all the signs tell me she's lying. blocking me on all social networks, keeping me from being in her life, hiding her phone while we were together. telling me we can't be friends. when i confronted her about it, she got angry. told me i'm insecure, that i overthink things and make up stories in my head. Edited November 8, 2013 by Buster Posey Link to post Share on other sites
greenfairie Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 how long were you guys together? i blocked my ex on social media sites just so i can heal and move on. it made me feel too emotionally messed up every time i saw his name or picture somewhere on social media. don't take it personally, it's not all about you. it's really about her, she has some issues she clearly gotta work through. she's probably young, needs to grow up a little bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buster Posey Posted November 8, 2013 Author Share Posted November 8, 2013 how long were you guys together? i blocked my ex on social media sites just so i can heal and move on. it made me feel too emotionally messed up every time i saw his name or picture somewhere on social media. don't take it personally, it's not all about you. it's really about her, she has some issues she clearly gotta work through. she's probably young, needs to grow up a little bit. you have a point. i asked her why did she block me on every social media site... she replied "its not easy seeing you. i need to let go of you completely to heal." i came to conclusion that she's hiding something from me. that theres a new guy in her life and she doesn't want me around to know about it. whats your opinion, am i just insecure? am i just overthinking this?? Link to post Share on other sites
im_thedude Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 Ex broke up with me, and alongside blaming me for the entire downfall of the relationship, she sent me some BS letter urging me to move on and telling me I will find someone new. She then blocked/deleted me off every social media site imaginable and ignored every call and text I attempted. I did some digging and found out that she was seeing some guy she had met online. And not two weeks after dumping me booked a flight to see him. My ex hid and will continue to hide (likely from being completely delusional) from the truth. She did everything she did to stave off any feelings of guilt. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 i hate this feeling, all the signs tell me she's lying. blocking me on all social networks, keeping me from being in her life, hiding her phone while we were together. telling me we can't be friends. Yeah, those are ALL telltale signs of someone else in the picture. Dumper's usually don't block the dumpee's from all social media (unless you are CONSTANTLY contacting her...then she probably would) that means she doesn't want you to see something. Hiding her phone is a BIG red flag. Dude, time for you to move on. If she can't be honest, then you can't be bothered with her games. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buster Posey Posted November 8, 2013 Author Share Posted November 8, 2013 Yeah, those are ALL telltale signs of someone else in the picture. Dumper's usually don't block the dumpee's from all social media (unless you are CONSTANTLY contacting her...then she probably would) that means she doesn't want you to see something. Hiding her phone is a BIG red flag. Dude, time for you to move on. If she can't be honest, then you can't be bothered with her games. we have a kid, and she plays games like using him as a pawn to get what she wants. i can't just use NC and move on like everybody else, she's going to continue to play these games. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 Then you be the best father to that kid that you can be. Obviously, traditional NC won't work for you. But, I would keep ANY contact with her strictly about your son and nothing else. Limit your contact to text or email. If she calls, let it go to voicemail. If it's important enough, she'll leave a message. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 I am sorry to hear all this but sadly she does not want you. Took me a long time to accept as well. Be a great father and limit any time you have to spend with your ex. Dont ask around if she has someone else. Dont beg or plead (Although we all did some of this in the beginning). Try to make arrangements through friends about picking up and dropping of your child so you dont have to see her that much. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 Unfortunately , yes, she does or has someone lined up. Sorry man. Barky Link to post Share on other sites
Mariposa10 Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 You're situation is really complicated. Is there a way someone can intermediate between you two? Do you have a good relationship with any of her family members? So that way you don't have to deal with her right now, of course you have to deal with her forever, but right now everybody is so emotional. What this woman needs is to be left alone, so she can realize this is all real and that you're not playing games. You've told her you wanted to work things out a million times, right? Well, now you have to show her that you did what you needed to do and that you have accepted the breakup. Link to post Share on other sites
for666 Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 well it must be hard but you must understand something easy.. what she say's about her want's, you getting a new gf: you don't have to have new person to be happy! just let go man heal and when time come, you gonna find a new wife and be more happy but in order to be happy, be happy ALONE!!!. and you'r ex is a cheater ^^ so you got the reason now move on YEAH think about it she get's bone'd by someone els now (hard truth but it reality) if she contact you ,only talk about Kid something els dont even look in her F EYES! she's a cheater and she must feel the F GUILD it's gonna Burn her in the FLAMES! inside! just be alone don't rush noting and try be happy and don't look back one's a cheater always a cheater Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 so my ex says she wants me to find happiness with someone else. says she can't put in anymore effort into us because her heart isn't in it to work out. that i need to find someone who will love me the way she can't. i'm just so disappointed in her that she kicks me to the curb when times get rough, not willing to make our relationship work. be a family again. she said she is happy now that she let me go. that i should be happy for her. does this necessarily mean she found happiness with someone else??? i'm just so disappointed in her that she kicks me to the curb when times get rough, not willing to make our relationship work. be a family again. The above statement: don't date anyone who runaway when things get tough/rough in a relationship. Be happy for yourself that you see that she's not the one who is willingly to stick through trials and obstacles in life with you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buster Posey Posted November 8, 2013 Author Share Posted November 8, 2013 i'm just so disappointed in her that she kicks me to the curb when times get rough, not willing to make our relationship work. be a family again. The above statement: don't date anyone who runaway when things get tough/rough in a relationship. Be happy for yourself that you see that she's not the one who is willingly to stick through trials and obstacles in life with you. sadly i didn't see it coming, no one knows that someone is the bailing type. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
faithfully Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 sadly i didn't see it coming, no one knows that someone is the bailing type. its a learning curb, let this be a lesson. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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